Hardt still didn't look convinced. He glanced at Tamura and then back at me. "Better than nothing," he said. "So how do we go about exploring? Two people through at a time until we find a way out?"
I shook my head. "I was thinking we'd open the hole wide enough so we can all fit through and then get out of the Pit for good."
Hardt let out a sigh. "We'd only have whatever food we could scrounge together. Oil too. We'd be better exploring for a day or so at a time. Maybe you and Tamura. You two don't need to dig."
"We don't have time," I said. I knew it was about time I came clean. "I didn't so much save Isen's life as give it an extension." I let out a sigh and hoped Hardt would understand. "I told Yorin I'd get him out as well." I saw the look on Hardt's face and decided to plough on before he could argue. "And if I don't help him escape by tomorrow, he's going to kill me and Isen."
For a while Hardt just stared at me. I'm still not sure if it was anger, disappointment, or something else he was feeling, but whatever it was, he swallowed it. Hardt was always good at that. I, on the other hand, have always struggled to hide my feelings.
With a shrug, Tamura grabbed the lantern and hammer from my belt and leapt up into the hole. He was far more spry than a man his age ought to be. Within moments all I could see of him was a shaking light shining down from the crack above.
"Do you think he'll come back?" I asked, attempting to lighten the mood.
Hardt nodded. "Tamura is crazy, but he's reliable. He won't go running off making decisions without us."
It was hard to miss the intonation. "That decision saved your brother's life," I spat. "Something you seemed unwilling to do." I regretted saying that the moment it burst from my lips. I still regret saying it, even now. I saw how much it hurt Hardt. The words were mine, but the fault was his. His pesky pacifism was what almost killed Isen.
Silence settled between us, broken only by the scrabbling of Tamura up in the crevice above. I couldn't help but wonder if I'd just destroyed another friendship. I was fast running out them to burn. I've never been very good at repairing things, relationships least of all. I've always been so much better at doubling down and laying waste to everything around me. Luckily, Hardt doesn't share that trait with me and he's never been one to hold a grudge, though I have given many opportunities to in our time together.
"Thank you, Eska." I saw the big man swallow back the lump in his throat. "Isen won't say it and I think someone needs to." I'm not sure which of us felt more awkward then. It was probably me. I wasn't used to being thanked for things.
The sound of metal striking rock started to echo down from above and rock dust cascaded around us.
"We'll need some food then?" I asked.
"For a start." Hardt began pacing. "Lanterns as well. We have two but we'll need more. One each would be best, and oil to fill them."
"We won't get that but for the storeroom and Deko keeps that guarded. Can you and Isen get in?" I knew it was unfair of me to ask but I couldn't do it all myself and I already knew where I would be needed.
Hardt shook his head. "Isen is still in a bad way and..."
"Hardt," I interrupted him. "I need you and Isen to do this. I'll take Tamura and get as much food as we can carry."
"How?"
"I don't know yet." It was a lie. But I didn't want Hardt knowing what I was going to do. He wouldn't agree with it. I don't think he'd have let me go through with it. These days I've done far worse things of course, and Hardt has helped me. I wonder if I corrupted him somewhere along the line.
"We still have a problem with Deko and Prig," Hardt said. "If none of us are there to dig, Prig will start looking for us. Enough people have seen us around this area. It won't take long before Deko has a full search for us. They'll find the crack." He paused and I could see him struggling with something. "I want to get out, Eska, but we can't help Deko and his thugs escape as well. They're criminals. Real bloody criminals. They're here for good reason. Bad enough we're helping that murderous snake-kisser Yorin escape."
"Don't worry about Deko," I said. I could see Hardt was about to argue. "And don't ask why not. Just leave it. Please."
Hardt drew in a deep breath and nodded. Some things are better left unknown and he didn't want to know my plan. "What about Prig?" he asked. "We could do with taking him out."
"I'll see if our murderous snake-kisser can help," I said. "Get him to earn his freedom."
"Tomorrow then?" Hardt asked.
"Tomorrow," I agreed. "We each do our part and meet back here."
With that our plan was made. More rock dust and rubble fell from the crack above and I heard Tamura give a giggle. I was so nervous. A hundred different things could go wrong and Ssserakis whispered each of them to me. I tried to ignore it, but the horror knew how to scare me, and the fear I fed it made it bolder.
Worse than the fear, though, was the guilt at leaving Josef behind. I knew I could have looked for him still. I knew I should have. Maybe I would have found him, repaired the rift between us. But, as I have said, I am not very good at repairing things. I've always been so much better at breaking them and setting fire to the remains.
Chapter 23
Photomancy is one of the strangest schools of Sourcery for it involves the manipulation of something most of us can only barely perceive. It is the power to wield light, or so the tutors said. In terms of practical applications, the uses are many and powerful. With it, a Sourcerer can create a powerful flash of light so bright it blinds all those who aren't swift enough to shield their eyes, or bring about a darkness so complete one would think the world had simply stopped being.
Barrow Laney was a Photomancer. He entered the academy around the same time as Josef and I, and we both counted Barrow as a friend. He was always quick with a smile and knew jokes that could even make the tutors blush. There was an easy charm to Barrow, yet I have never known anyone so devoted to their studies. Perhaps it was because he was the only son of a merchant and had been expected to learn the business before the academy took him, so studying came easy to him. Or perhaps it was because he knew from the start that his particular attunements would eventually drive him insane, and he wanted to fight it. He was a master of Photomancy even at a young age, took to it like water to a sponge. Barrow could make you see things that weren't there. Illusions crafted by his imagination and brought into existence by his magic. He once handed me a bouquet of flowers so red they shone like blood. But they weren't real, and when I tried to take them my hand passed through the stems and the petals burst apart to become butterflies that flitted about my head and landed on my shoulders. I was only eight or nine at the time and I giggled as only a child can, truly and utterly lost in the joy.
Of course, the tutors had a much more sinister use for Photomancy.
The academy was there to teach Sourcerers, all schools of Sourcery. Well, most of them. Some schools were deemed too useless to bother learning, or too dangerous to teach. But the Orran Empire was at war, it needed Sourcerers trained for battle, and Lesray, Josef, and I were the newest batch of recruits. It wasn't enough that we knew how to use our magic to bring death and destruction to our enemies, we needed to be willing to use it. We needed to be able to see what we had done, what we were doing, and not balk. Not waver. We needed to be weapons. Orran's weapons. The Emperor's weapons.