We were between a rock and a hard place with no easy way out.
Even now, the idea that I was hiding something so big from Callie didn’t feel right. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed them before they could fall out. This wasn’t the time or place to reveal the truth about my mother. I didn’t know when or where it ever would be, but I guess that was a problem for another day.
“What did the Panthers do to get you all hot and bothered, anyway?”
Deflection was my friend.
Callie blew out an irritated breath and pulled her phone back up in front of her face. “The free agent they signed is only the most washed-up quarterback in the league. Why are they wasting their money on that bozo when what we really need are solid running backs? I just don’t get them. It’s enough to make me want to root for the Patriots instead.”
“Don’t do that.”
She looked up, a small smile on her face, and my heart thumped hard in my chest. “I was just kidding. I’d never root for those clowns.”
“Atta’ girl.”
She giggled and I swear my damn heart almost stopped. I knew in that instant I’d never heard anything sweeter than Callista McCoy’s little laugh.
“You know, I never would have pegged you for a football fan.”
Callie rolled her eyes so hard I worried they’d stick like that. “Why? Because I’m a woman? Do I need testicles to understand routes and downs and what the little yellow flags mean?”
Unfortunately for me, I’d been taking a sip when she said the word testicles, making my eyes water with the need to swallow but worried I’d spit it all over the table if I tried. With valiant effort, I got the mouthful of water down my throat and took a relieved breath of air.
When I was sure it wasn’t coming back up, I shook my head. “No, you definitely don’t need… testicles,” I sputtered between gulps of air.
She folded her arms, making her chest rise along with my blood pressure. “Then what is it?”
I took another tentative sip of water before shrugging. “Just surprised, I guess. You seem so… I dunno… quiet? Reserved? Non-confrontational? I just wouldn’t expect you to be a fan of a sport that’s so aggressive.”
I held my breath as I waited for her reaction to my words, bracing myself for her to take offense to them. To my surprise, she just snorted and rolled her eyes again.
“You’ve clearly forgotten I grew up with four siblings. If you don’t think we were practicing wrestling moves on each other and out back playing tackle football every chance we got, then you clearly don’t know anything about the McCoys.”
Her brows furrowed as she took a sip of water and placed her glass back down. “Besides, my dad always wanted a football team of his own. When he only got one boy and four girls, he didn’t let that stop him. Some of the best memories I have of him are in our old backyard, tossing around the football.”
She was quiet for a moment before continuing with a small sad smile on her face. “I always got to be the defensive coordinator. Dad said I had a knack for coming up with plays and that I was bossy enough to get my brother and sisters to do what I said.”
My gut clenched as I recognized something in her I saw every time I’d looked at myself in the mirror the past three months.
Grief was stark and unmistakable.
It wove its way into the way you held yourself, making your shoulders hunch with the burden of your loss. It snaked its way into your gaze and hid behind your eyes, making them sad, even if you were smiling.
After shouldering my own loss, I’d recognize it anywhere.
“When did you lose him?” I asked softly.
She let out a soft but shaky breath and wrapped her delicate fingers around her dewy glass. “Almost fifteen years ago.”
My heart ached at the sadness in her voice and I yearned to reach across the table and touch her. To erase this space between us. To do anything it took to put that smile back on her face.
“You must have been young.”
She nodded. “We were sixteen.”
I winced at the way her voice broke on that last word.
“We lost them both that day,” she continued.
“You lost your mom and your dad the same day?” My heart raced at the implications.
It couldn’t be.
“Yeah. They were fated.”
Fated.
That one word reverberated through my head over and over as I tried to wrap my mind around it.
Fated mates weren’t unheard of, but they were rare enough to be special. I’d never met a pair before, but I knew what it meant. One couldn’t live without the other. When one died, the other followed shortly after. It was as tragic as it was beautiful.
It was also something every wolf strove for, even if they wouldn’t admit it. Who didn’t want to find their match? The one wolf born for them.
Growing up, I’d always wished my mated parents could have been fated. Obviously, that would have been impossible since my mom wasn’t even a wolf, but it didn’t stop ten-year-old-Wyatt from hoping.
Now, the fact that they weren’t fated was a blessing. If they had been, we would have lost our mom with our dad. Like Callie had. I couldn’t imagine that kind of loss, but I could see the result in the slump of her shoulders.
“Callie. I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged and sniffed softly before turning to look out the window. My eyes traced her profile over and over as I watched her strength surge to the surface and harden her edges again.
“It was a long time ago.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
She lifted one shoulder and dropped it just as fast. “Yeah, well, getting upset over it won’t change anything.”
I frowned at the side of her face and folded my fingers together to prevent myself from reaching out to her. “Callie. You know you’re still allowed to mourn the loss of your parents.”
When she didn’t answer, I continued.
“There is no time limit on grief. It doesn’t matter if it won’t change anything or make things better. You get to feel whatever you feel for however long you want to feel it.”
She heaved a heavy sigh and slowly turned to face me. She still wouldn’t meet my eyes, but at least I got to see her whole face now. It was marred with sadness, but also more beautiful than ever.
“You sound like you’re talking from personal experience.”
My gut clenched and I sat back in my seat. “If you’re right and there are no secrets in a pack then I’m guessing you already know about my dad.”
“Abey mentioned you lost him recently.”
I reached up and rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah. It’s been a few months now.”
Silence fell heavy between us as grief slowly encroached on our lunch. It sucked the color from the day and dimmed the brightness of the sun shining through the windows. It settled around my shoulders, weighing me down more with every second that passed.
I wished we hadn’t landed on this topic but couldn’t really regret it. It had given me another small piece of Callie McCoy. It was a sad piece and one I wish she didn’t have to shoulder, but now it was mine and I’d treasure it. She was proving to be a tough nut to crack, but I’d pick up all the crumbs that resulted from every fissure I made in her hard exterior until I had it all.