‘I never knew my mother,’ comes Trevor’s sad voice from under the cup. ‘She could have been eaten by a hedgehog before I could so much as hatch, for all I know.’
‘My mum sent me off to live with my granny in the woods,’ adds Scarlett. ‘On account of the lycanthropy skipping a generation.’ She pulls the elderly magical cape around her large arms self-consciously. ‘Amongst other things.’
‘I don’t know what happened to mine, after I ran away,’ says Jack, ‘but we were very, very poor, and I took all the gold I’d nicked with me, so… probably didn’t end well.’
Gretel holds her tongue, a sense of gratitude for her comparatively comfortable upbringing on the farm colliding with a desperate yearning to return there.
‘I assumed you felt the same as me,’ Snow admits to Buttercup. ‘I never imagined you might ever want to leave your cottage.’ She finishes cleaning up Buttercup’s hands and smiles at her. ‘It’s such a nice cottage. Really cosy and welcoming, and that’s all been down to you.’
Buttercup sniffs again. ‘It’s down to me that it’s mostly cake.’
‘I like that it’s mostly cake.’
‘No you don’t.’
‘Course I do. Because it makes it yours.’
Buttercup smiles, despite herself. ‘Aww.’
‘I like the cake element too,’ comes Trevor’s muffled voice. ‘Great at attracting flies.’
‘Your house sounds so weird,’ says Hex.
‘Has to be seen to be believed,’ Trevor tells them. ‘You should come and take a look. You’re always welcome.’
Hex stares at the cup, then around at the room, and for the briefest moment, Gretel notes an expression of hesitation on the bird-man’s face. He shakes his head swiftly, as if trying to shake the very thoughts out of it.
‘You’re troublemakers.’
‘They are troublemakers,’ agrees Scarlett.
‘We’re not,’ sighs Buttercup wearily.
‘You’ll go east…’
‘We won’t if we don’t have to,’ Snow tells them. ‘We’d rather form alliances right here.’
‘Gilde will have none of it!’
‘Yeah, we gathered that,’ says Trevor, under the cup. ‘But, as far as I see it, she’s a permanently tired little old lady, and you’re a fully grown man… bird… thing. What can she do to stop you if you want to go and see the cake house?’
‘I don’t want to see the cake house.’
‘Course you do, it’s a house made of cake. And if you came with us, you’d be a part of the team, so you’d have a say on what we did next.’
This seems to get Hex’s attention. He clambers across to reach his giant wing out to the cup on the shelf.
‘Hex…’ warns Scarlett.
Hex hesitates again, then pushes the cup with the tip of his wing so that it tilts onto its side. Trevor pokes his head out cheerfully.
‘So…’ Hex mutters, ‘so if I agreed to go with you, then I could tell you not to go east, and you’d do as I said?’
‘Hex,’ frets Scarlett again. ‘No.’
Hex persists. ‘I could tell you not to start a war with the humans, and…’
‘Well, it doesn’t quite work like that,’ says Trevor gently. ‘There’s no “telling”, as such. Down our neck of the woods, it’s not just one person giving orders and the rest of us following them.’
Hex casts a sceptical sideways look in Snow’s direction.
‘OK,’ Trevor admits, ‘most of the time we listen to what others have to say instead of just giving orders.’
‘In my defence, I’m getting better at the whole “listening” thing,’ adds Snow. ‘Literally just resolved a massive argument with Buttercup. By listening.’
‘You didn’t resolve it, dear, just defused it; the underlying issues are still there.’
‘Still, though, I was pretty good. Better than usual, right?’
Buttercup rolls her eyes. ‘Yes, dear.’
‘But you’d listen to me and Scarlett?’ asks Hex.
‘Don’t bring me into this please.’ The Werewolf cringes.
‘I could get you to keep the peace with the humans? Stop this war before it overtakes the whole forest?’
‘Well…’ attempts Snow.
‘It really isn’t a “war”, you know,’ says Gretel. ‘It’s a lot more one-sided than that, and—’
‘And,’ interjects Trevor, ‘we’re certainly all ears as to ways we can put an end to the situation.’ He pauses. ‘Well. Not me. I don’t have ears. But I can listen to you with my leg hairs.’ He waggles a leg at a thoughtful-looking Hex.
Scarlett is pacing anxiously. ‘Gilde isn’t going to like this, Hex.’
‘Has Gilde liked anything you’ve done?’ Trevor asks. ‘Besides following her orders?’
Hex shakes his head, and meets eyes with Scarlett, a new spark of resoluteness in his expression.
‘Hex, no,’ Scarlett pleads. ‘There’ll be a fuss.’
‘You can come with us too,’ Gretel attempts, but Scarlett is nowhere near as convinced as Hex. The hardwired loyalty in her part-canine brain must run deep.
‘Can’t we sleep on it, Hex?’ Scarlett whines. ‘We’re all tired, we aren’t thinking straight. This isn’t like you; you’re usually such a good bird!’
Gretel notices that Hex is trembling, but she can tell from his face that he’s made up his mind. He gestures with his wing for Trevor to climb onto the feathers. The spider does so, scuttling swiftly up to Hex’s shoulder.
‘Thank you, Trevor,’ murmurs Hex.
‘Wait,’ says Jack indignantly, ‘Trevor? Nothing I said or did could sway you, but you’ve been won over by Trevor?’
Gretel grins to herself. Hex hadn’t expected a charm offensive from a guileless little spider. Nobody ever suspects much from a little spider, which is exactly why anybody living in a magic forest should really consider befriending a little spider. Well. That and the fly control.
Hex shoots Jack a troubled look, and whispers something to Trevor.
‘I really don’t think he is making fun, mate.’
Hex frowns, bewildered.
‘What?’ asks Jack, just as perplexed. ‘What did I do wrong? Oh no, I didn’t lay it on too thick, did I?’
‘But then what would I know?’ Trevor continues, ignoring Jack. ‘I’m hardly an expert in human mating rituals.’ He nods over at Buttercup and Snow. ‘For about three months, I thought those two were just feeding one another straight from the gullet.’
Gretel has to stuff her fist into her mouth to stop herself barking out a laugh.
‘Trevor!’ Snow exclaims through gritted teeth, her eyes wide with horror.
‘We agreed not to talk about that,’ Buttercup adds.
Gretel forces herself to stop giggling. Inside the salt-rimmed glass jar, Patience has gone foetal in silent hysterics of schadenfreude. The others all seem too distracted to have even noticed. Scarlett is still anxious, Jack is still indignant and Hex still seems surprised both by his own courage and by Trevor’s suggestion that Jack might not have been making fun of him after all.