Becka knew better. “Quinn isn’t the type to settle.”
Maura waved her off. “Then it can’t be helped. You’ll have to find a way to come to terms with the situation.”
Becka felt like a rat trapped in a cage. When she boiled down her stress and anxiety about being heir of House Rowan, the single largest component was her engagement to Alain. Sure, she was concerned she wouldn’t master her gift or that she might hurt someone with it. And she woke up from nightmares about being captured by a Shadow-Dweller again at least once a week. But her lack of power over the engagement contract was maddening.
“I don’t know how to do that right now,” Becka finally replied to Maura.
Maura gave a single nod, and, seeming to understand they’d talked the topic to death, moved on without missing a beat. “Did you know Berak and Saana have requested a session with you when you’re feeling up to using your abilities again? They’ve brought in a cursed candidate who’s willing to give your Nulling powers a try, even while knowing the risks.”
“Yes, I heard. I’d love to help them,” Becka replied.
“Wonderful. I’m scheduling it for tomorrow.” Maura sighed, her exhaustion again overtaking her features. “Becka, I need your willing participation, not just as a member of our family but also as heir to maintain our power base. Your headstrong traits will serve this house well, once you know how to apply yourself and then actually do so.”
Perhaps Maura was right. If Becka was here to stay, being more connected to the council and daily Rowan affairs would help her adapt. Yet the conversation about her engagement grated at Becka.
Becka needed to leverage her relationship with her mother, moving it beyond the struggle it had been so far into a mutually beneficial partnership. Somehow…
“You’re right. This is not the life I’ve created or braced myself to deal with.”
“Be patient,” Maura replied. “Once your training is complete, more opportunities will open up for you, including work in the cities. Perhaps there will even be time for that internship you are so intent upon, assuming you embrace your duties here more fully and we find work for you within the city.”
“That would be wonderful,” Becka replied. “Dr. Traut said they’d put the internship on hold and are awaiting word from us on my availability once I’m guilded. The board will have to review and approve allowing a guilded fae on staff, but Traut is excited for the opportunity.”
“Oh, your gift will be quite lucrative for the house, I am sure. But I’m still surprised you’re holding onto the dream of your internship with Dr. Traut. Won’t you be working amongst humans who fear or hate you?”
“You’re right, I’d be walking right back into that fire. I suppose, having dealt with their prejudice for so long, I came to accept it and move on.” Becka tucked a stray lock of hair back into her ponytail. “Plus, I think of it fondly because it was a time not so long ago when I got to make my own decisions.”
Maura arched a brow. “Learn how to play your cards right, and that time may come again. Also, you are scheduled to have dinner with Alain tonight. I expect you to attempt to get to know him better.”
Becka sighed, the breath leaving her like a deflated balloon. Spending time with Alain might be necessary, but she didn’t have to like it.
“Do I have a choice?”
“We always have choices, not necessarily with the life the fates have chosen for us, but with how we comport ourselves along the journey. And I expect you to behave yourself.”
Becka wasn’t ready to give up on a potential relationship with Quinn by giving in and marrying Alain. But perhaps, if she went along with Maura’s requests, she’d at least buy time to find some way out of the engagement.
“As you say,” Becka replied.
“Good. I’ll expect to hear from him tomorrow about how it went. And I’ll see you at the council meeting, daughter,” Maura said, and then swept out of the room.
Although parts of the conversation had been difficult, especially dealing with her mother in command mode, Becka supposed it had been productive. If only she could stop thinking about Quinn’s lips against hers or the accusatory look in his eyes as he’d left the room.
She’d hoped to spend the evening puzzling over the Shadow-Dweller book Quinn had brought, but instead she steeled herself for dinner with Alain.
Chapter 8
Luce stood leaning against the bathroom door directly within her line of sight, so every time Becka paced back and forth she could see the shifter staring right at her. She kept telling herself she was trying to pick out the right outfit for dinner with Alain, but in truth, she was searching for an excuse not to go.
“Something on your mind?” Becka asked Luce.
“Now that you mention it, I suppose there is.” Luce took two steps into the bathroom. “You know neither Saige nor I would rat you out to Duchess Maura, right?”
Becka didn’t totally understand the shifter’s chain of command, but she knew they all reported to Brent, who in turn reported directly to Vott. However, with Vott not being conscious, she didn’t know how it worked at this moment. It wouldn’t have surprised her if the shifters had been reporting directly to Maura on Becka’s movements.
Becka shrugged. “I figured, although I’m not entirely sure why not. She is the duchess, after all. But it doesn’t matter much how she found out about my interest in Quinn. What’s done is done.”
“It matters to me that you know we didn’t do it,” Luce replied. “The duchess must have assumed, based on your behavior during his prior visit, that you had feelings for him. Then she got lucky today, when she caught you two locking lips.”
“We haven’t seen each other all this time!” Becka replied. She settled on a bright yellow-and-red jumpsuit outfit with a square pattern. It wasn’t proper fae attire, but she liked it.
“Oh, I know. The shifter sense of smell is even more acute than your fae nose. If you’d been messing around, we all would have smelled him on you.”
“That’s encouraging.” Becka made a mental note to shower more frequently.
“We shifters report to Vott, not Maura. Our pact is with him.”
That sounded like a formal term, and not one Becka was familiar with in shifter vernacular. “Pact?”
“It’s not for me to explain,” Luce replied. “But if someone reported you, they had to be fae.”
The shifters had never given her reason to doubt them, so Becka took Luce at her word. Although she had to admit, Luce’s unwillingness to share hurt her feelings just a wee bit.
“Sure. Okay,” Becka replied.
Luce started pacing back and forth.
Becka had been around shifters long enough to know that pacing was a sign they were holding something back and needed to either talk or act to get it out. Besides, the longer they talked, the later she would be to dinner with Alain.
In her mind’s eye, Becka could see Maura shaking her head.
“I have a feeling something else is bugging you,” Becka said.
“I got to thinking during your conversation with Maura. She mentioned how you need to step up.”