Grim followed the menial along the edge of the cliff. Not far ahead, he saw a figure that must be the Dark Lord. He was tall, for a human, enclosed in a heavy black cloak. He turned towards them. A horned helmet completely hid his facial features.
‘The ogre, Og-Grim-Dog,’ said the menial.
‘Good,’ said the Dark Lord, his voice rich and deep. ‘Return to your duties.’
The menial left them alone with the Dark Lord. There was no doubt that he was an imposing figure, with a certain aura about him. The helmeted figure kept his face turned to them for a while, as if he was studying them, though all Grim could see behind the helmet was shadow. Eventually, the Dark Lord looked out to sea.
‘I like to come out here alone,’ he said at last. ‘It helps me to collect my thoughts.’
Grim could think of nothing to say.
‘You must need some thinking time,’ said Dog. ‘To plan all your evil deeds.’
Grim was pretty sure he would have come up with something better than that.
‘Lilith tells me Brother Kane sent you here. You want to become one of my henchmen?’
‘That’s correct,’ said Dog. ‘I think we’d be very good at it.’
‘Hmm,’ said the Dark Lord as he turned to face them again, a noise that could have meant any number of things, or nothing. ‘I tell you what. I will give you a test to complete before I accept you into my inner circle. It’s simple enough. Perform one evil deed. Tell me about it, provide some proof or whatever, and you are in. You will likely find me here. If you can’t find me, go through Lilith. Is that acceptable?’
‘Of course,’ Dog agreed. ‘No problem. Well…we’ll see you soon.’
‘Very well,’ said the Dark Lord. He waved a hand to dismiss them and returned his gaze to the sea.
Grim retraced their path along the cliff to the postern gate in the wall of the stronghold. He gave it a push and it swung open. ‘Not even locked,’ he muttered.
‘Well,’ said Og, an odd tone to his voice as they re-entered Fell Towers. ‘Perform an evil deed, he says.’
‘Shouldn’t be a problem,’ Dog said. ‘Oi, you,’ he called out to a menial walking past. ‘Come over here.’
The menial dutifully changed direction and approached them.
Before Grim realised what was happening, Dog was clattering the menial over the head with his mace. As it lay sprawled out on the floor, Dog hit it one last time to make sure it was dead.
‘Here we go,’ he said cheerfully, returning his weapon to his belt. ‘Let’s take this to the Dark Lord.’
Dog picked up the corpse of the menial, and Grim dutifully turned around and returned to the postern gate, exited the stronghold and made his way back along the cliff path.
‘I didn’t expect you back so soon,’ said the Dark Lord at their approach. His helmeted visage turned to look at the body of his dead menial, which Dog unceremoniously dumped on the ground in front of him. ‘What is this?’ he asked.
‘An evil deed,’ said Dog proudly, gesturing at the misshapen helmet of his victim, crushed inwards where his mace had struck it.
‘You’ve killed one of my menials?’ said the Dark Lord angrily. ‘How is that supposed to help me?’
‘You did ask for an evil deed,’ Grim reminded him.
‘Yes. Evil. Randomly killing someone isn’t evil. It’s psychopathic.’
‘Oh,’ said Dog, sounding disappointed.
‘Well,’ said Og, ‘maybe you need to define evil a bit more clearly. Some would say it’s an artificial construct anyway.’
‘What nonsense,’ said the Dark Lord. ‘Everyone knows what evil means. The opposite of good. As the Dark Lord, it’s my job to spread evil across Gal’azu.’
‘So what you actually meant,’ said Og, an edge to his voice, ‘was to perform a deed that helps you with your goal to take over the world.’
‘Yes. After all, the menials work for me—increase my power. I’m really surprised that you interpreted what I said in this way,’ he said, gesturing at the dead body on the ground.
‘So you’re a megalomaniac?’ Og asked.
Everyone looked at Og blankly.
‘You’re interested in power, conquering Gal’azu. That kind of thing.’
‘Exactly,’ said the Dark Lord. ‘I am pleased that we understand each other now.’
‘Right,’ said Og, gesturing at the dead menial with a sigh. ‘You know, if you keep using the word evil, this kind of thing is going to happen.’
‘I suppose so,’ said the Dark Lord reluctantly. ‘Evil is more of a style thing, maybe. You know, I want to conquer the world in an evil fashion.’
‘Whatever,’ Og grumbled under his breath.
‘Now he’s dead,’ said Dog, gesturing at the menial, ‘and I’m sorry and all that, are you alright with me just chucking him in the sea?’
‘I’d rather you didn’t. I think he deserves a funeral of some kind. And I’m sure we can recycle his clothes. Not sure about the helmet, that’s pretty banged up.’
‘Well,’ said Grim, ‘we’ll mention it needs doing to a menial. Meanwhile, we’d better get off and do our deed properly.’
‘Look,’ said the Dark Lord. ‘Don’t worry about it. It was partly my fault for not being clear. And even if you didn’t do what I wanted—not remotely what I wanted—at all—it did demonstrate a certain level of commitment. Not to mention, you look really fucking evil. You’re hired.’
‘Really?’ asked Dog enthusiastically.
‘Really. Come, let me give you a little tour of Fell Towers. Then we can talk business.’
Grim followed the Dark Lord back along the cliff. Once more, they passed through the postern gate. The Dark Lord paused at the ground floor of his stronghold and Og-Grim-Dog, his new henchman, waited politely at his side. The Dark Lord ordered a group of menials to deal with their dead colleague and then turned to the ogre.
‘You’ve been to the refectory?’
‘Yes,’ said Dog. ‘Really good.’
‘Lesson one: I like to look after my staff. The healthier and happier they are, the harder they work to achieve my goals. Free food. Free healthcare. I even pay into a pension for them. It means I have the most loyal and dedicated followers in all of Gal’azu. We win as a team, you understand?’
‘Win as a team,’ Dog repeated. ‘I like it.’
‘Well, let’s head down to the basement, then. It’s the most exciting part of the stronghold.’
The Dark Lord took them to a trapdoor in the floor. Two menials were on hand to lift it up for them. One of them hurried ahead down the stone steps and began to light the wall lanterns. Flickering shadows appeared as they began to descend into the murky bowels of Fell Towers. Their footsteps echoed around the basement—it was draughty, dank and chilly.
‘Oh, it’s lovely down here,’ Dog enthused.
Even Og had to nod in agreement.
‘Of course, ogres like it underground, don’t you,’ said the Dark Lord. ‘Well, let’s see if we can organise a little room for you down here.’