The three brothers had their share of disagreements and arguments. But self-preservation is a strong instinct and hanging off a sheer rock face on a flimsy-feeling piece of hemp netting helped to concentrate their minds. They worked together and they held their tempers. Perhaps just as remarkably, the netting held their weight and they reached the bottom in one piece.
Their friends had waited for them at the foot of the rock. Grim could sense that they were in a vast chamber, even if he couldn’t see more than a few feet ahead. They left, making their way through the darkness of the underworld. The sound of boots on the floor echoed. In many places Grim found he was walking on a thick layer of guano, and the sharp smell of bat urine was pervasive.
Gurin led them into a tunnel. There was something comforting to Grim about being closed in by walls and a roof. Assata pointed to locations farther along the tunnel—doors. The denizens of the dungeon might be close.
They continued on, Grim doing his best to move quietly. In what was now becoming a familiar routine, Gurin and Assata stood on each side of a wooden door and silently invited Grim to burst it open. He obliged, kicking it open and entering the room at speed. It was a reasonably sized room, with an open exit on the right wall into a second room. In the gloom, Grim could make out odd bits of furniture lining the walls. Against one wall, something stirred.
‘Hold it!’ Assata demanded, levelling her sword at the creature.
It was an orc. He was seated on top of a cushion, a filthy-looking blanket wrapped about him, his back against the wall. He had a startled expression on his face and raised his arms in alarm.
‘Oh, you got me,’ he said in a throaty voice. ‘I must have dozed off and didn’t hear you coming.’
‘Anyone else around here?’ Assata demanded.
‘Oh, I doubt it. They’ll all have run off when they knew you were coming. Look at you, swords and bows and a great big ogre, too. No, they’ll be long gone.’
‘Nothing in there,’ Gurin confirmed, exiting the adjoining room. ‘We need to finish that one.’
‘Oh, no need for that!’ said the orc. ‘I’ve been poorly, that’s why I was dozing off here. I’m no threat to you. I’ll just stay here until you’re done. You won’t hear a peep from me. I’m Vax, by the way.’
‘We can’t trust orcs,’ said Gurin, brandishing his axe.
Assata and the others looked unsure about what to do with the orc. Grim did think it would be a poor show to just kill the old thing in cold blood. But then, that was what trespassers tended to do in these situations. Kill all the residents and take the loot.
‘What about that piece of rope you never used?’ Og asked Gurin.
‘What about it?’ replied the dwarf suspiciously.
‘Tie him up with it.’
‘He’ll call out.’
‘Gag him.’
‘We came here to kill orcs, didn’t we?’ Gurin demanded.
‘Not really,’ said Assata, as if she had at last made a decision. ‘We came here to grab back the treasure they’ve been stealing.’
‘And killing people while they did it,’ Gurin countered. ‘Killing innocent humans. Women and children.’
‘Oh, no,’ said Vax. ‘That wasn’t us. You must have us mistaken with some other orcs.’
‘The rope,’ Assata said, holding out a hand.
With a reluctant sigh, the dwarf handed the barbarian his rope. She tied it tightly around the orc.
‘If we hear you cry out or make any kind of noise, I’ll send the dwarf to get his rope back. Do you understand what I’m saying?’
‘Oh yes,’ Vax said. ‘You’ve been very kind. Though I feel I should warn you.’
‘Oh yeah?’
‘You won’t find much in the way of treasure down here.’
‘We’ll see,’ Gurin said with a sneer.
They left the orc behind and gave the other tunnel rooms a search. But it was just as Vax had said: no-one else was about and none of the rooms held anything of value. Indeed, they were exceedingly grubby looking, even for orcs, and it seemed obvious to Grim that these creatures had fallen on hard times.
When they were done, they found themselves at the end of the tunnel, where it sloped and turned downwards, towards the next level.
‘Well, only a single orc on the whole top level,’ said Dog.
‘Let’s see what we find down here, before we dismiss the whole dungeon,’ said Gurin.
But Grim thought that the dwarf didn’t sound so confident anymore.
DISCOUNT DUNGEON SUPPLIES
The tunnel carried them down at a gentle gradient, twisting around so that they emerged directly under the passage they had just walked through. The sight before them here, however, was very different. Instead of a narrow tunnel, there was a large open space. At the far end Grim could see the passage that led down to the next floor. But like everyone else, his attention was drawn to the centre of the open space. Brightly illuminated, a shop had been built there. To be precise, it was a branch of Discount Dungeon Supplies.
‘Rather odd,’ said Sandon.
‘This!’ Gurin said. Grim looked at the dwarf. His face had gone red and he seemed to be having trouble getting his words out. ‘This symbolises all that has gone wrong with modern dungeoneering!’ he said finally. ‘A shop! In the middle of a dungeon! What kind of soft, supine, shameless, waste of space goes shopping in the middle of a dungeon crawl? What kind of sick, consumer-obsessed society have we become?’
He stared about him, as if someone would be able to answer the question. It seemed that no-one could, since an awkward silence followed.
‘Are we going to go in?’ asked Raya eventually.
‘Well—’ said Sandon. ‘It’s right here, so…’
‘Maybe we can find out some information?’ Assata suggested. ‘Obviously, we’re not going to buy anything,’ she added, looking at the dwarf a little sheepishly.
‘It’s alright,’ Gurin said to Og-Grim-Dog. ‘You go in with them.’ The dwarf sat on the floor and crossed his arms.
‘I’ll stay with Gurin,’ said Brother Kane. ‘We’ll keep a watch.’
The rest of them entered the shop. It was well lit inside, just like the outside. Two guards were stationed there. They were heavily armoured, each carrying a spear and shield. A third man stood at the counter. Otherwise, it was empty. The shop seemed to stock everything a dungeon adventurer might need: cloaks hung on hangers; there were shoes in different styles and sizes; leather and metal armour for all parts of the body; round shields, kite shields and bucklers. There were shelves full of essentials and miscellaneous items: dried food; water bottles; backpacks; lengths of rope; flint, steel and tinderboxes; medical supplies.
But pride of place, and the part of the shop they all gravitated to, were the weapon racks. There was every type of weapon Grim had ever heard of, and some he hadn’t, each with a different price tag. Cheap items such as staves, clubs and fire-hardened spears. Swords of different lengths and shapes, each going for eye-watering prices. Bows and a selection of arrows; slings and stones. Exotic items, such as darts, morningstars, battle hammers. They stood about for a little while, pointing things out to each other. ‘Here, Dog, look at this.’ ‘Assata, you should get one of these.’ And so on.