After she had gone her perfume lingered. He lay on the bare mattress and thought about Laura, but whatever he thought about—Laura playing Frisbee, Laura eating a root-beer float without a spoon, Laura giggling, showing off the exotic underwear she had bought when she attended a travel agents’ convention in Anaheim—always morphed, in his mind, into Laura sucking Robbie’s cock as a truck slammed them off the road and into oblivion. And then he heard her words, and they hurt every time.
You’re not dead, said Laura in her quiet voice, in his head. But I’m not sure that you’re alive, either.
There was a knock. Shadow got up and opened the door. It was the fat kid. “Those hamburgers,” he said. “They were just icky. Can you believe it? Fifty miles from McDonald’s. I didn’t think there was anywhere in the world that was fifty miles from McDonald’s.”
“This place is turning into Grand Central Station,” said Shadow. “Okay, so I guess you’re here to offer me the freedom of the Internet if I come over to your side of the fence. Right?”
The fat kid was shivering. “No. You’re already dead meat,” he said. “You-you’re a fucking illuminated gothic black-letter manuscript. You couldn’t be hypertext if you tried. I’m…I’m synaptic, while, while you’re synoptic…” He smelled strange, Shadow realized. There was a guy in the cell across the way, whose name Shadow had never known. He had taken off all his clothes in the middle of the day and told everyone that he had been sent to take them away, the truly good ones, like him, in a silver spaceship to a perfect place. That had been the last time Shadow had seen him. The fat kid smelled like that guy.
“Are you here for a reason?”
“Just wanted to talk,” said the fat kid. There was a whine in his voice. “It’s creepy in my room. That’s all. It’s creepy in there. Fifty miles to a McDonald’s, can you believe that? Maybe I could stay in here with you.”
“What about your friends from the limo? The ones who hit me? Shouldn’t you ask them to stay with you?”
“The children wouldn’t operate out here. We’re in a dead zone.”
Shadow said, “It’s a while until midnight, and it’s longer to dawn. I think maybe you need rest. I know I do.”
The fat kid said nothing for a moment, then he nodded, and walked out of the room.
Shadow closed his door, and locked it with the key. He lay back on the mattress.
After a few moments the noise began. It took him a few moments to figure out what it had to be, then he unlocked his door and walked out into the hallway. It was the fat kid, now back in his own room. It sounded like he was throwing something huge against the walls of the room. From the sounds, Shadow guessed that what he was throwing was himself. “It’s just me!” he was sobbing. Or perhaps, “It’s just meat.” Shadow could not tell.
“Quiet!” came a bellow from Czernobog’s room, down the hall.
Shadow walked down to the lobby and out of the motel. He was tired.
The driver still stood beside the Humvee, a dark shape in a peaked cap.
“Couldn’t sleep, sir?” he asked.
“No,” said Shadow.
“Cigarette, sir?”
“No, thank you.”
“You don’t mind if I do?”
“Go right ahead.”
The driver used a Bic disposable lighter, and it was in the yellow light of the flame that Shadow saw the man’s face, actually saw it for the first time, and recognized him, and began to understand.
Shadow knew that thin face. He knew that there would be close-cropped orange hair beneath the black driver’s cap, cut close to the scalp like the embers of a fire. He knew that when the man’s lips smiled they would crease into a network of rough scars.
“You’re looking good, big guy,” said the driver.
“Low Key?” Shadow stared at his old cellmate warily.
Prison friendships are good things: they get you through bad places and through dark times. But a prison friendship ends at the prison gates, and a prison friend who reappears in your life is at best a mixed blessing.
“Jesus. Low Key Lyesmith,” said Shadow, and then he heard what he was saying and he understood. “Loki,” he said. “Loki Lie-Smith.”
“You’re slow,” said Loki, “but you get there in the end.” And his lips twisted into a crooked smile and embers danced in the shadows of his eyes.
They sat in Shadow’s room in the abandoned motel, sitting on the bed, at opposite ends of the mattress. The sounds from the fat kid’s room had pretty much stopped.
“You lied to me,” said Shadow.
“It’s one of the things I’m good at,” said Loki. “But you were lucky we were inside together. You would never have survived your first year without me.”
“You couldn’t have walked out if you wanted?”
“It’s easier just to do the time. You got to understand the god thing. It’s not magic. Not exactly. It’s about focus. It’s about being you, but the you that people believe in. It’s about being the concentrated, magnified essence of you. It’s about becoming thunder, or the power of a running horse, or wisdom. You take all the belief, all the prayers, and they become a kind of certainty, something that lets you become bigger, cooler, more than human. You crystallize.” He paused. “And then one day they forget about you, and they don’t believe in you, and they don’t sacrifice, and they don’t care, and the next thing you know you’re running a three-card monte game on the corner of Broadway and Forty-third.”
“Why were you in my cell?”
“Coincidence. Pure and simple. That was where they put me. You don’t believe me? It’s true.”
“And now you’re a driver?”
“I do other stuff too.”
“Driving for the opposition.”
“If you want to call them that. It depends where you’re standing. The way I figure it, I’m driving for the winning team.”
“But you and Wednesday, you were from the same, you’re both—”
“Norse pantheon. We’re both from the Norse pantheon. Is that what you’re trying to say?”
“Yeah.”
“So?”
Shadow hesitated. “You must have been friends. Once.”
“No. We were never friends. I’m not sorry he’s dead. He was just holding the rest of us back. With him gone, the rest of them are going to have to face up to the facts: it’s change or die, evolve or perish. I’m all for evolution—it’s the old change-or-die game. He’s dead. War’s over.”
Shadow looked at him, puzzled. “You aren’t that stupid,” he said. “You were always so sharp. Wednesday’s death isn’t going to end anything. It’s just pushed all of the ones who were on the fence over the edge.”
“Mixing metaphors, Shadow. Bad habit.”
“Whatever,” said Shadow. “It’s still true. Jesus. His death did in an instant what he’d spent the last few months trying to do. It united them. It gave them something to believe in.”
“Perhaps.” Loki shrugged. “As far as I know, the thinking on this side of the fence was that with the troublemaker out of the way, the trouble would also be gone. It’s not any of my business, though. I just drive.”