There was a discreet rap on her door and in came a young maid bearing a tray of breakfast. The little mermaid took that as a cue that she were running late, and scrambled out of bed. No matter how soft the carpet was, she felt she was treading on a bed of knives.
“Oh, no, no, no,” chided the maid softly. “My lady should return to bed. Go on, lie back down. There’s no need to be up and about on my account.” And she giggled nervously and placed the tray on the bed.
“Eat up, then. There’s toast and porridge and coffee from Spain.” The little mermaid glanced at her own exotic aquarium in the corner of the room and thought privately that its inhabitants would make a much tastier breakfast.
“See that yellow stuff? It’s called marmalade. It’s made from oranges. It’s the Prince’s favourite, you see.”
The little mermaid peered at the gelatinous substance with a new appreciation. She motioned for the girl to sit down, but the maid refused.
“None of that anymore, miss. You’re one of them now. I’ve heard all about you, you know. That you were a servant like me, and not even a royal servant at that! And you caught the Prince’s eye and now you’re to live like a queen. It’s like a fairy tale, isn’t it?” And she leaned over and poured the aromatic coffee from the pitcher into a cup.
“What I wouldn’t give to trade places with you. You’re the first, you know. The Prince – I’m going to speak plainly, as you and I are from the same stock in the end – well, there were rumours for years that he didn’t like women. That he was interested in…other boys, you know?” She smiled now, and her voice became loud again. “By God, he’s handsome. Eh, you’re a lucky one. But don’t you worry about me. I’m as loyal as they come. And I’ve got an eye for his Uncle, you know. Oh, don’t look so surprised! There’s not a woman in this palace that don’t.” The mermaid understood the gist of this, and wondered why anyone would so much as look at the Uncle when the Prince was about. She could not understand what was so attractive about a man with a parasite on his face.
The maid, however, only noticed that the little mermaid had not begun to eat, so she reached down and buttered the toast for her. “By any means,” she said, winking slyly, “I’d be interested to know how it was. I’ve always wondered how a prince would do it.” The little mermaid did not know the meaning of “it”, but if she had her voice back, she wouldn’t have hesitated to declare that she had no intention of doing it with the Prince, and neither did she want to know what it meant. The way the serving girl was grinning was so vulgar, it was sure to be something very shocking indeed. That was the problem with these humans, they were altogether scandalous.
“I’m your Personal Maid, by the way. I’m specially trained. I know how to dress hair and select jewelry and what fabric goes with what occasion. I won’t steer you wrong. And I want to be your friend, too. That is, if you like.” The maid coloured prettily. “You can ask me anything you want, and I won’t be telling nobody nothing! It’s my special attribute, you see. I keep secrets.”
The little mermaid smiled at the girl, who turned bright red. “Not that you can ask me anything with your condition. I shouldn’t have said that. Sometimes I talk too much. I’m sorry.” But the little mermaid did not seem to mind at all, and the maid felt more at ease. “Well, eat up then. It’ll be going cold. I’ll be back later to dress you.” And she tumbled out of the room.
After she had eaten what she could from the tray (plus several sea-snails and two fat anemone-fish from the aquarium) she was just wondering what Useful Occupation she’d have to employ now, when her Personal Maid bustled back in, breathless with excitement.
“Well, don’t just lie there,” reprimanded the girl, “for he’s asking for you and wants to walk with you in the gardens. Get up! Get up! Oh, look at your hair, you’re not fit to be seen!”
And the little mermaid was filled with gladness as the Personal Maid blustered her into a bathtub, wrenched a brush through the mass of hair, twisted and poked at it until her scalp ached, and bullied her into the tightest, shiniest, most elaborate and most unnecessary garment she’d ever seen. When she finally beheld her own reflection in the looking-glass, she gasped. For the woman standing before her was not herself. It was not the little mermaid who asked too many questions, nor was it the housekeeping servant with blood in her shoes. She did not know who this woman was.
After the Personal Maid had given her several confusing directions to the upper courtyard, the little mermaid set off. She shuffled down her own corridor, in the royal wing of the palace, and wondered exactly which doors belonged to the Prince. As she roamed the hallways, several lords and ladies of the court greeted her as they went by, and after a time, the mermaid felt it best to merely smile and nod. Several times she nearly tripped on layers and layers of skirt, and the high heels caused her feet pain like never before.
But all the bother and inconvenience fled her as she approached the courtyard and the Prince turned around, his eyes lighted upon her. Several functions of her body ceased working at once.
“You look unrecognisable,” said the Prince finally, as he took her hands in his. “I’d never have known you.” He turned to his Uncle, who she’d only just noticed, standing beside him. “Is all this necessary, do you think?”
“Only if you don’t want tongues wagging further,” said the Uncle dryly. “We can’t have your companion running about in rags, she’d be unfit to be seen.” His tone was harsher than usual. His gaze swept the little mermaid from head to toe and he omitted a gruff sound, turned on his heel and left.
“Never mind him,” assured the Prince. “I don’t care a bit what people say. Is this not my palace? Are they not my subjects? I wish to do what I please, and I wish that you would too. Come, let me show you something.”
He held out his hand and the little mermaid took it. There was a little-used stairwell in the back tower of the palace and the Prince led her down, floors and floors of backache and tripping and feet feeling like their bones were on the verge of snapping. Finally, they ventured through a small wooden door and there they were, standing on the edge of a magnificent orange grove. A cloying scent filled the air.
“It’s wonderful, isn’t it?” said the Prince. And his eyes took in every tree and every blossom. The little mermaid watched his face and agreed that it was wonderful.
He began to examine the nearest tree for ripe fruit and called over his shoulder, “You can take your shoes off, if you like. I see how much pain you’re in. Why women wear such awkward things is beyond me.”
The little mermaid reached down and painstakingly took off one shoe, and the other. She noticed that her toes were already stained brown and sticky. As the Prince threw her a round, perfect orange which fell into her lap, he noticed her feet as well and grimaced. He picked up her shoes and examined them, and before the little mermaid could stop him, he had hurled both over the garden wall. Satisfied with himself, he smirked. “And never let me see you wear such shoes again.”
The little mermaid was delighted and nodded enthusiastically. She began to examine the orange, eager to please. “You have to peel it, like this,” said the Prince, and he took the fruit from her and began to peel and quarter it. “Taste it,” he commanded. She did not need to be told twice.