“We’ll need your help to find the hidden room. And that means …” I steeled myself. “I’m going to tell Ezra everything.”
“No.”
“He needs to know before we—”
“No.” Eterran bared his teeth. “He won’t believe that I would help him—help us—without betraying him.”
“You two worked together once before, didn’t you? Ezra told me—”
“After his parents and everyone he knew were slaughtered because he ran away, he turned all his guilt and self-loathing on me. He hates me down to his soul.”
“They weren’t killed because Ezra ran—”
“If he hadn’t run, they wouldn’t have searched for him and the Keys of Solomon would never have found his family.” Eterran made an impatient rasp in his throat. “Humans cannot accept the senselessness of death. They need reasons for death. The only reason he can find is his own choices.”
His hand closed around the back of my head, and he dragged my face close to his.
“Understand, Tori,” he growled. “There is only one thing Ezra cannot bear. He will endure any pain or suffering himself, but he will not allow his family to die because of him—not again.”
I stared into the demon’s burning lava eyes, my throat too tight for words.
“If he finds out I have this level of autonomy, he will find a way to die—immediately. I will have no choice but to fight him for control, and that could destroy us both.”
Swallowing back nausea, I gripped his wrist. “Let me go.”
He opened his fingers. “You cannot tell Ezra.”
“I can’t not tell Ezra. He’s way too smart to believe any half-baked cover story about why we’re going to Enright, and as soon as we need your help in locating that hidden room, he’ll find out that—”
“Then we wait for him to sleep.”
I set my jaw stubbornly. “I’m not lying to him anymore.”
“Zh’ūltis!” he snapped. “Worry about his forgiveness after you have ensured his survival! We cannot—”
His eyes went wide, his arm shuddering in my grip. “He’s—”
He jerked, throwing his head back. It hit the wall with a thud. Gasping, he buckled forward, tearing his arm from my grasp as he pressed both hands to his face. His shoulders heaved.
He slid his hands down, revealing Ezra’s human eyes staring blankly ahead as he panted.
My hammering heart lodged in my throat, muffling my voice as I whispered, “Ezra?”
He jolted as though my whisper had been a slap. His wide-eyed stare shot to me, whipped across my face, and stopped on my hand still hovering in the air.
Lowering his hands from his face, he looked at his wrist. The one I’d been holding.
“You were talking to me …” he muttered hoarsely.
“I—” Panic rushed through me, and I blurted without thinking, “I was telling you to calm down. You were having a nightmare—”
“You were talking to him.”
My voice died.
His eyes regained focus. “He was—he was talking—but I was—wasn’t I sleeping?” He sucked in a lungful of air and expelled it in a rush. “I was sleeping and he was—and you were—”
Shit, shit, shit. The decision about when to tell him the truth was no longer up for debate. “Ezra, I need to—”
“What happened? Was Eterran in control? What—” His frantic questions cut off. Mismatched eyes swept across my face. “Why are you so calm?”
I reached for his arm. “I can explain. Just—”
“Explain?” He jerked away from my hand. “Didn’t Eterran just take control while I was sleeping? How could you possibly explain that? How …” He broke off, his face losing what little color remained. “Wait. No. No.”
He flung the blankets aside and rolled off the bed. As his feet hit the floor, he clamped his hands to the sides of his head. “My insomnia in December. It’s not—he wasn’t—was it him?”
Panic bled into his voice, and my anxiety ratcheted in response. Ezra’s usual levelheadedness was rapidly losing out to the realization that one of his worst nightmares had come true.
He whirled on me. “What do you know?”
I slid to the edge of the bed and swung my feet down to the floor. “Ezra, please calm down. It’s okay. Let me explain.”
“My demon controlled me in my sleep! How is that okay?”
“I’ll explain it,” I replied, keeping my tone even despite the fear clogging my lungs. “Please, Ezra. Just sit down and let me talk.”
His chest heaved as he fought to bring his emotions under control, and I shivered from the tension gripping me. Too dangerous. This was way too dangerous for him. The lethal feedback loop of emotion that had almost destroyed him a few days ago was too close.
I held my hands out, imploring, “Please, Ezra.”
He stared at me. “You said I was having a nightmare. You lied to me.”
“I—I didn’t want to freak you out the second you woke up.”
“Eterran was talking to you.” His voice rose. “What did he say to you?”
“Ezra, please just—”
“What did he say to you?”
This time, he shouted the question, and I recoiled, clenching fistfuls of blankets.
Footsteps thudded up the stairs. Aaron whipped the bedroom door open. “What’s wr—”
“Tell me, Tori!” Ezra yelled.
“Ezra!” Aaron barked, aghast. “What’s—”
“This wasn’t the first time, was it?” Ezra snarled. “You’re too calm. How long, Tori?”
Aaron took an angry step into the room. “Ezra—”
“How long have you been talking to my demon?”
I cringed back. Aaron’s mouth hung open, and his disbelieving stare jerked to me.
I had to swallow before I could speak. “Since we went to the Sinclair Academy, but it’s not what you think. It was—”
Ezra stepped sharply back, bumping into Aaron. “The werewolf attack. I couldn’t remember what happened.”
“All that destruction at the alchemist’s house,” Aaron muttered, his attention darting between me and Ezra. “That was his demon?”
“Yes, but guys, please listen. Eterran helped me because—”
“Helped you?” Aaron interrupted, anger igniting through his disbelief. “You mean the demon that’s almost killed me and Kai several times each—”
I shoved to my feet. “Yes, that demon! And if you’d both shut up for half a minute, I could explain why I didn’t tell you!”
Aaron raked his hands through his hair. “I’m listening.”
I looked at Ezra, but he was backing away, his shoulders moving with short breaths. His stare had lost focus and he was gripping his hair again, knuckles white. The room was far colder than it should’ve been.
Aaron put a hand on Ezra’s arm. “Come on, man. Breathe. Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out.”
Ezra sucked in air. Slowly, his hands unclenched and he lowered his arms.