Seeing Barret alive and well, grinning shyly? It was the monster equivalent of being bitch-slapped with cock.
“Barret?” I breathe as I stare at him like he’s a mirage, an illusion capable of disappearing with the next gust of wind. “How are you…? Why are you…? How?” I scrub a hand down my face as the beginning tendrils of hope bubble low in my stomach like a corrosive acid. But hope is an immensely dangerous emotion to have. What happens when the hope fades? You’re left with nothing but crippling pain and loneliness.
Is this another game? Another aspect of the Roaring?
“How are you still alive, man?” Mason queries, disbelief and suspicion evident in his tone. “Cal and Violet watched you die.”
My nails dig into my skin as I ball both of my hands. “You better start explaining, Barret, because I’m sort of crapping my pants right now. Figuratively. And soon to be literally if you don’t start talking.”
His beautiful face is pinched in confusion as he cocks his head to the side. His green-tinted hair billows in the breeze from my open window as he regards us curiously. I half expect him to dissipate into a cloud of smoke. The dead can’t come back to life, can they? It’s not possible. Not even Dracula can escape death by the hand of a god-blessed dagger. I saw Alex shove it into his heart. I saw him fall, blood forming around his mouth.
So how is he here? How is he standing in front of me with a confused smile?
“Didn’t Alex tell you?” His large eyes blink innocently up at me, but my unease only ratchets up a dozen notches.
“That fucking asshole?” I hiss through gritted teeth. “If I saw him, I would sooner stab my blade through his chest than partake in a conversation. Unless the conversation is how to effectively remove the balls off a male while he’s still alive and screaming.”
Vin, beside me, winces and cups his crotch. “That’s nasty, Vi.”
Ignoring him, I refocus my entire attention on the dead guy. “How are you here? I saw you die.” My voice breaks on that final word, and that memory will forever haunt me like a tattoo that has embedded itself on my heart. No matter what I do, I can’t remove it, and I’m beginning to think that I don’t want to. A part of me wants to live with the hurt and pain—to remind myself that I survived it once, and I can survive it again.
“I ran into Alex when I first stepped out of the portal.” Barret still sounds confused as his dark eyes flicker from first my face, then to the guys’ on either side of me. “He told me that he knew of a way for me to save your life.” He shrugs once, his large shoulders reaching his ears. “And I did it.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” I interrupt. For a lot of reasons, actually. The most important being that Alex hates me and wants to wear my innards like some sort of fucked up scarf. And I, similarly, want to use his head as a basketball. Obviously, Alex was playing Barret, but I just can’t understand why.
“He told me that his father possessed a god-blessed dagger,” Barret continues, lips pursed delicately.
“A dagger that he stabbed you with,” Mason interjects.
“Wrong.” With a sigh, Barret moves to sit on my desk chair, spinning it around so he’s straddling it. “The dagger was normal. He knew it wouldn’t kill me, as long as one of my bugs was able to crawl through the portal.”
“Okay, start from the beginning.” Vin moves so he’s standing slightly in front of me, and I can’t tell if he’s protecting me from Barret…or protecting Barret from me. My emotions are running rampant at the moment, fear, anxiety, and that bastard hope all fighting for dominance. All I want to do is leap into Barret’s arms like a heroine in a romantic movie—you know the type. When the girl discovers that her long-lost love is actually alive and well. Honestly, I made fun of those movies when I first watched them. What female would forgive her significant other for faking his death? I would sooner castrate him and feed his balls to my pigs. After I bought a bunch of pigs, of course. Now? I can see the appeal of slow-motion running into his arms, and that pisses me off.
“As I said before, Alex found me as soon as I stepped through the portal,” Barret states slowly and carefully, his brows furrowed.
“Just because you talk slower doesn’t mean we understand what the fuck you’re saying,” Vin snaps, and a flicker of hurt crosses Barret’s face.
“He told me that his dad—a real douche canoe, that guy—wanted to kill Violet. Of course, I couldn’t let that happen, so when Alex came up with a solution, I accepted.” He shrugs once more, as if that’s the end of the story. Already, his gaze is fixed on one of my leather schoolbooks, his fingers idly tracing the patterns engraved on the spine.
“Barret, what happened next?” I whisper, my throat clogged with emotion. Seeing him alive and well…it sort of makes me want to kill him for putting me through such pain to begin with.
“I ran into you and Cal.” He drops the book and gives me his full attention once more. His sooty lashes blink rapidly as he rests his chin on the back of my desk chair. “When Alex and his father came, I did what Alex told me to do—I stepped in front of the blade meant for you. I would’ve done it anyway, but it was a relief to know that I wasn’t going to actually die. It wasn’t god-blessed, despite what Alex claimed.” With a pained expression, he rubs at his chest where the blade entered. “I tried to tell you guys, but there was a shit ton of blood.”
“Yeah,” I choke out, swallowing the sob that wishes to escape. “A lot of blood.”
“Alex kept up his end of the bargain by grabbing one of my bugs and taking it with him through the portal. Unfortunately, there was a little incident that involved your dog and my beetle form, but he took me to you, so I can’t complain. And now, here I am.” He extends his arms on either side of him, a happy smile on his face.
“Barret…” A choked noise squeezes past my closed lips before I can contain it. “You motherfucking asshole!” Hands trembling, I raise them and place them on his well-defined chest. “I thought you died! Cal thought you died! How could you do this to us? How could you allow us to believe…” I trail off, dropping my hands to my sides as if he’s on fire.
“I did what I did to protect you,” Barret says slowly, that adorable crease between his eyebrows growing even more pronounced. His confused gaze flickers to the men behind me. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Nope,” Vin says simply.
“Nothing at all,” Mason adds.
“Yes, he fucking did!” I protest, resisting the urge to throw him over my knee and spank the shit out of him. “He made me think he was dead. I mourned for you, asshole!”
“But I’m still alive.” Barret sounds even more bemused as he stands slowly, stepping away from the chair. “Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Of course it’s a good thing, you beautiful fucker.”
With a huff, I stalk away from him, placing my balled hands on my hips.
Barret’s alive.
He’s here…and he’s alive.
He’s safe.
With a choked sob, I spin around and throw myself at the giant man. His arms immediately clasp around my waist, holding me steady. Tears prick my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. Nope. Not me. Badass vampires don’t cry.