I shake my head. “I just can’t buy that story, Draven. You don’t know Cerys like I do. While she can be dangerous, and she can use her powers in ingenious ways, physical violence isn’t one of them. Seduction even less.” And even if it were, if she’d tried to seduce the men, they wouldn’t have been able to resist her. I know that much.
Draven pauses, letting it go through his head. “But why would she lie?” he eventually says. “Why incriminate herself? She knows that it could get her killed, or worse, imprisoned forever. We’re talking an eternity of imprisonment, Xerxes, you know how impossible that can be for parahumans. She would lose her mind, and she knows it.”
“Which is why I can’t understand why she doesn’t fight, why she doesn’t try to defend herself.”
“Because all I want is to go to Samael,” Cerys interrupts.
She got out of bed, where the witch doctors attended to her, and came over to the sitting area. I heard her from the moment she got up from the bed, but I don’t even turn around now. I can’t look at her, but her tired, battered voice, tells me she must look like shit, and yet mouthwatering, a treacherous, wilting rose, with the perfume of which I want to intoxicate myself. I’m aware of her standing there, in the doorframe between the bedroom and the sitting area, staring at me.
“That’s all I want,” she says. “I would do it right now, if I had my way.”
I don’t reply.
“I took him into my body only three nights ago, Xerxes,” she presses. “I gave myself to him before I became your wife, I fucked him right there, on that bed.”
“My Queen, please,” Draven tries to temper her, but she pushes by him. She’s close behind me now, her scent of wild lilies strong in my nostrils.
“I never intended to hurt you,” she says, her tone less obstinate. Now, she sounds hurt. “He wanted my body in exchange for leaving you alone, and I initially did it for you. But then he wanted more, and I let myself fall under his spell, too. I’m sure even you would understand if you met him in person. He’s an Archangel, he can be irresistible when he chooses to, I never stood a chance.”
The muscles in my jaw bunch, I clench it so hard. How can she tell me such a thing, when I know better than anyone how strong-headed and strong-willed she can be. No way a man could have manipulated her like that, not even if he was Divinity in the flesh.
“Many are worried that my death would cause yours as well,” she argues. “So letting me go would be the surest way to make everybody happy. I mean, really now, why are you even still considering other options?”
I turn around briskly, and she takes a step back. She probably didn’t expect the storm in my gaze.
“I’m still considering other options, Cerys, because you allegedly killed two of my people.” I don’t mention the High Mage because, honestly, I don’t give a fuck about him. “The courts, my armies, everybody wants justice.”
“But if Samael doesn’t get me, he’ll keep attacking the Fire Realm. Are you sure you can afford to antagonize the armies of Hell? Do you even want to? Am I even worth it?”
“Realms,” I breathe as I stare at her. “How can I even still look at you?” I reach out and touch her face, more gently than she expected. What I feel right now doesn’t make any fucking sense. I don’t want to break her now glow-less, pale face. I don’t want to hurt her. No, I want to keep her, even against her will. And I would force her to stay with me, even in terrible conditions, if I were the only one paying the price. Unfortunately, it’s not just me.
I let my hand drop off her face, keeping my expression cold and detached.
Tears glint in Cerys’ eyes, the reddish light of lava and the shadow of thick clouds reflecting off the water hanging on her eyelashes.
“You will go through the trial of the courts,” I tell her. “You will be brought down in chains, and you will stay that way until a decision is reached. As of now, you are stripped of all royal prerogatives and advantages.”
She tries to protest, but I’ve already stepped by her, heading to the door, keeping the mask of indifference on my face for everyone I encounter on my way. Maybe if I hold on to this mask long enough it’ll actually become part of me, and my feelings will grow cold. But it’s not gonna happen anytime soon, it would seem. My soul hurts so much the sensation is physical.
I go to the separate chambers I had the servants prepare for me on the lower floor, strip of my armor, and sink into a hot bath, hoping that it will make me feel better. It doesn’t, not by much. Zestari, one of the girls who was in Cerys’ retinue at the wedding still moves about the chamber, making the final arrangements for the night, or pretending to.
She’s been one of my private servants for a long time, and I know her well. She’s an experienced courtesan, and she’s been offering her services to many military leaders who came to visit me on diplomatic missions. Now, what she truly wants is to catch a glimpse of me naked as I sink into the hot water, and I used to let her have her glimpses. But now her schemes only anger me. The mates’ bond I have with Cerys is still strong, even after this nightmare. Maybe if I close my eyes and try to relax against the stone tub, I’ll wake up to find Cerys sitting on the edge next to me in the transparent red gown she wore last night, combing her hair and bending down to kiss me.
But it doesn’t happen. I open my eyes to the ceiling of this room, with Zestari moving about, towels in her hands. She doesn’t know that I can see her from the corner of my eye, licking her lips as she approaches me with hungry eyes.
“Don’t,” I growl when she dares step too close.
“Milord,” she says in her husky, confident voice. “I just want to serve you. You can still have joy and pleasure, if you just let me do it.”
She steps behind the tub and, setting the towels on the stool, she touches my shoulders.
“Your muscles are like boulders.” She bends down, and I know she’s going to kiss my shoulder, as covered in blood as I still am. For a moment, I consider letting her, but then a flash of Cerys lights up in my mind’s eye. Her face, without its glow but just as beautiful, with those large honey eyes full of pain and yet also candor. How will I ever accept that those were the eyes of a traitor?
I rise so fast that the water splashes over the tub’s edges. Zestari falls on her backside. Her mouth pops open, and I realize I’m standing completely naked in front of her, covered in blood and water.
“I’ve just come back from war,” I growl. “I have demon blood all over me. My chest is bursting with bloodlust. I’m going through Hell with my wife. And you think what I need now is sex?”
“I can think of nothing a man in your situation could need more.”
“Listen, Zestari, it’s not that I don’t appreciate what you’re doing. But even before the Queen and I became bonded mates, I never took advantage of my servants, not even of my courtesans, in the way that you want me to take advantage of you now. And I never will, no matter what.”
“You still want her,” she whispers, frustration and grudge replacing the lust in her face. “After everything she’s done, you would still take her back. Are you really capable of forgiving her? You, the ruthless King of Flames?”