“No.” I met his gaze, forcing my feet to stop moving for enough time to say what needed saying. “Others will rise up. They already have. This city is desperate for change, my friend, and you don’t need me to make it happen.”
Tips hesitated for a painfully long moment, and then to my surprise, he bowed low. “It has been a privilege, Your Highness.”
He wouldn’t give up, I could see it in the square of his shoulders. And somehow, that made it easier. “For me as well,” I said. “Goodbye, Tips.”
The time for words was over. Turning to the gate, I swept aside the guards and their magic, then tore the steel blocking my way from its moorings, tossing it aside. I started to run, faster and faster down the slick road toward the world outside. Toward her. It was over, and I didn’t want it to be. It was over, and I was relieved by it.
Cécile had made a choice. For herself. For me. And it could not be undone.
The fresh breeze full of the smell of salt and life and freedom struck me in the face, the faint glow of dusk appearing ahead of me, and in that moment, I hated her.
I loved her.
The point of impact loomed, and I braced myself. For the pain. Please let her survive was my last thought, and then I threw myself at the barrier.
33
Cécile
I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Chris standing at the back stairs of the opera house. The safety of my friends was a small blessing in this night of failures.
“Sabine found you and warned you?”
He nodded. “While I was with Fred. Who is, by the way, an even worse liar than you. She didn’t call him out on what he’d done, because she was afraid he’d warn Lord Aiden that you’d escaped. I don’t think he would, though. I think he regrets what he did. Were you able to get your book back?”
“I searched every market, but I couldn’t find her,” I said, hating how well I felt, as though my countless sleepless nights had been washed away by blood. “So I tried to break them free another way. It didn’t work.” I swallowed a lump in my throat, not ready to explain exactly what I had done, how I’d felt her triumph when I failed, and how a fit of madness had taken me and I’d screamed Tristan’s name until I’d collapsed in the sand like a madwoman.
“Sabine told me what you two overheard,” Chris said. “She’s inside, although everything’s all chaos because your mother left for the Marquis’ country home, claiming she was ill.”
“She isn’t ill, she’s angry at me,” I muttered, pressing a hand to my forehead. I hadn’t just failed to free the trolls, I’d failed to protect her, too.
“What are you going to do?”
“Wait for the messenger to come find me,” I said. “Let him and Catherine help me catch Anushka, bring her face to face with the King, then set her free.” I waited for some passersby to move away, and then I continued, “And what will happen will happen. But at least we’ll live to fight another day.” My chest was tight. “I’m not giving up, Chris.”
“Then there’s still hope.” He squeezed my hand. “How’s Tristan?”
I closed my eyes and shoved away the sick euphoria I felt. “Not well.” And I was noticing it much more than I had before, which could only mean he was getting worse.
“Cécile, thank heavens you’re all right.” Sabine came flying down the steps. “We didn’t know where you’d gone. We came back here like you asked, but…” She frowned. “Why are you all wet?”
“Long story,” I said, grateful that the seawater had washed away the worst of the blood.
“I’d say we need to get you inside, get you warm, but if you go in they’ll want you to perform. Genevieve didn’t show, and it’s closing night. Put anyone but you on the stage, and the audience will be demanding their money back.”
Did I dare? It was only a matter of time before Catherine discovered Sabine and I had escaped, if she hadn’t already, and then they’d come for me. Was there a better way to spend my last few hours of liberty than on the stage?
“I’ll sing,” I said, lifting my chin. “Might as well go down with a little flair.”
Neither of my friends smiled.
“They won’t try to take me while I’m onstage,” I said. “It will be afterward, and I don’t want either of you to interfere. I’ll go along with the first part of their plan, and then later, I’ll try to escape.” It wasn’t a perfect strategy, but it would give Tristan a fighting chance. “If it doesn’t work out, please tell my family that I love them.” My lip trembled and I flung an arm around both of them. “Thank you for helping me. I couldn’t ask for better friends.”
“Good luck.” Chris’s voice was rough. “I’m going to go see if I still have a job.”
He trudged away, shoulders slumped.
I grasped Sabine’s hand. “I’m afraid.”
She squeezed my fingers. “Me too.”
Backstage was utter chaos. The orchestra’s music filtered through the walls, and I recognized it as from one of the ballets. The dancers were performing to keep the crowd entertained with their graceful limbs and skill, but they could not go on forever.
“Cécile! Curse you, girl! Where have you been?” The stage manager locked a hand over my wrist, pulling me toward my dressing room. “I thought I was going to have to put Justine on. She’s wearing your costume. You’ll have to change quickly. Sabine, have her ready in ten minutes.”
“Yes, monsieur.”
Justine was in my dressing room, her brown hair pulled back tight in preparation for the wig she’d need to wear. Her face fell with disappointment when she recognized me, but she swiftly replaced it with a smile. “I’m glad you’re here. I did not much care to go on when they were expecting Genevieve.”
I didn’t blame her. Everyone in the audience was expecting to witness the final performance of Trianon’s most famous singer. Justine could have sung her heart out and it would not have mattered. “She’s retired now,” I said. “Someone will have to step up, and I’ll put in a good word to see it’s you.” What I didn’t say was that more than one girl would have the opportunity to move up in the ranks, because tonight would be my last performance as well.
The ten minutes went by in a blur of costuming, makeup, and hair. I warmed up while Sabine worked, methodically pushing myself up and down the scales while letting my mind drift away, a waking dream where I was surrounded by glass flowers and light, and all I cared about was the pair of silver eyes watching me from afar.
For all that I had failed to free him, Tristan felt closer to me tonight than he ever had since I’d left Trollus. His emotions were a tangle in my thoughts, rich and heady, and I didn’t try to separate them from my own. I reveled in a dream world of my own creation, where we were together and there were no curses or kings or witches to keep us apart.
And when I stepped out onto the stage, the roar of the full house filling my ears as they realized I was performing tonight instead of my mother, I channeled those emotions. I sang like I had never before, pushing aside all thought of technique in favor of the rawness that I preferred. My throat burned and I shook with fatigue, but I felt alive. And I didn’t want to give that up. Didn’t want it to end.