I lather my body in rose oil and stand in front of the mirror to air dry.
“You can do this,” I tell my reflection.
I put on a brave face and go to Lula’s room, where my dress and flowers are laid out.
“Let me work my magic,” Lula says, like we’re regular girls getting ready for a regular birthday party instead of sister brujas ready to wake the dead.
• • •
Mama Juanita used to say that when you drop a spoon, get ready for company, probably from a vindictive woman. A fork—a handsome man. A knife—lock the doors and windows. Since I’ve literally wrecked our kitchen twice in a week, I don’t even want to think of what’s in store for me today.
Every single surface is filled with fat, white candles and pulsing flames. Dozens of brujas and brujos fill the house in their Deathday best. Lady’s turquoise head wrap is tall, accented with dozens of tiny crystals. Great-Aunt Esperanza shimmers in the colors of a peacock with a fascinator of the same bird’s feathers. Our distant cousins, the brujas from Lula’s circle, are done up in chiffon skirts and silk blouses covered in glitter. You’d think it was their birthday and not mine. When I think of family, I think of Mom, Lula, and Rose. When my mom thinks of family, she means everyone related to us by a single drop of blood or marriage.
I smooth down my simple, white dress covered in hand-stitched little flowers along the neckline. Traditional. Plain. Functional. It’s going to get stained anyway.
“Rose, get back here!” I hiss.
But she leaves my side and dives straight for the tray of guava and brie empanadas.
Uncle Gladios makes a beeline for me. He holds my face with his grizzly hands. Traces of sweet sugarcane rum and cigar smoke cling to his clothes.
“You are a woman now,” he says. “I knew there had to be great power in you.”
I put on a smile when all I want to do is roll my eyes. It’s always nice when your older male relatives tell you how great it is to be a woman now, like I was an androgynous experiment before. I duck out of his grip before he caves my head in.
The hugging and face pinching goes on for a while. Aunts and uncles and cousins touch my hair and dress and necklace. Suddenly I feel like there are too many people in my house. It’s too loud, too much, too bright.
Old Samuel drags his conga drums across the living room. He wears a white tunic with tiny mirrors sewn across the chest. The mirrors are to ward off bad spirits because they can’t stand to see their own reflections. Lady’s deep voice shouts orders about where the ceremony will take place. Crazy Uncle Julio brought a lonely pink balloon, and it’s already started to sag in the corner.
Lula comes over and holds my hand. She stands straight and defiant as eyes linger on the scars on her cheek. Her hair is braided around her head like a crown, and instead of traditional flowers, she opted for a veiled fascinator covered in gems. She pulls on the veil to make sure it falls over her scars, and for the first time, I see a chink in my sister’s armor.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her.
“Not now.” She holds my hand tighter, and we do a lap around the living room.
Lula elbows me hard and nods at the group of newcomers. She whistles just loud enough for me to hear.
“That’s a drink of water and a half.”
“Gross, we’re probably related,” I remind her.
Rose shakes her head on her way to the punch bowl. “No, we’re not.”
But when Nova turns around, dressed in a blue button-down that frames his broad chest and shoulders, the magic in my belly tugs, and a warm pain passes over me. His earrings wink in the light. I don’t know if I want to keep staring at his smile or find a quiet corner where I can throw up. Who am I kidding? There are no quiet corners in this house. Not tonight. He looks down the hall, where I’m standing, but his gaze goes right past me.
Emma, a cousin thrice removed, stands next to Lula, hooking their arms together. Emma has small teeth and a pointy nose that gives her a look like she’s always smelling something sour. “Oh my Deos, he’s so fine.”
“Totally fly,” Mayi joins in, pursing her lips like she’s getting ready to blow him a kiss.
“I heard he did three years in juvie,” Emma says.
“I heard his parents were into some really bad juju,” Mayi says. Her dark skin is like polished stone. Her long, dark hair comes down to her tiny waist. “That’s why he lives with his grandma.”
“You guys are holding out on me,” Lula tells them.
Mayi turns to Lula. She hesitates, then says, “Want me to glamour your scars?”
Lula looks startled for a moment. She unhooks herself from Emma’s arm, reaches for her veil, and adjusts it.
“No,” Lula says. “But you might want to go to the bathroom. Your real nose is starting to show.”
Nova looks over to where we’re all staring at him. The girls all turn around quickly, except me. He smiles and licks his lips. A no-good kind of lick that says, I’m going to get you.
“Oh hey, Alex,” Emma says, as if only just noticing me. “Happy early birthday.”
“Are you ready to accept our Circle invitation?” Mayi asks.
“I think I’d rather clip Crazy Uncle Julio’s toenails,” I say as the front door opens again. “More people. I’d better go say hi.”
Lula runs after me and pulls me into the corner near the stairs. She stares at the center of my forehead. “Are you going to be like this the whole time?”
“What?” I drop my voice to a whisper.
“Can you at least try to have fun?”
“We’ve never gotten along. Magic isn’t going to change that.”
Lula shakes her head. “You’re just mad you can’t go to that stupid party with Rishi.”
“And you’re mad at me because of the maloscuro.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. You won’t even look me in the eye. You wanted us all to have our powers. Now look. We do. Maybe you want to spend the rest of your life hiding from monsters and watching the people you love die, but I don’t.”
She meets my eyes to prove a point, but only for a second. Her stormy-gray eyes flick to the side. “You’re hopeless.”
She leaves me for her Circle, and I stand alone against the wall. Old Samuel starts off with a song that has everyone dancing. The only good thing about this party is that I can hear my mother laughing. That alone is worth it.
I send Rishi a text.