“Whatever Leah saw, I’m absolutely certain it wasn’t what you think,” Kasper said, apropos of nothing. “Even if she saw you, that doesn’t mean that it was something … bad.”
Kasper’s roaming touch trailed down Felix’s fingers, bending and straightening the joints, comparing the length to his own.
“I hope not.” Felix sighed through his nose. Why hadn’t he done something about Harriet earlier? He shouldn’t have left her to wander the building, leaving chaos and destruction in her wake.
Kasper sat upright, suddenly. “Felix, I never said thank you.”
Felix blinked. “What for?”
“After Lisa disintegrated, you were there for me. And again, when Harriet – you know – dumped me. You were there for me again. I realized that I never said thank you afterwards.”
Felix was shocked. Kasper was voluntarily talking about feelings. Usually he seemed terrified of even admitting he had any emotions at all.
“I…” Felix stuttered, but Kasper clearly wanted to get the words out in one go.
“It meant a lot. That’s all I wanted to say. And – and I appreciate it.”
Felix’s eyes dropped to the ground. He smiled. “Any time, Kasper.” Then he looked up, distraught. “And I don’t mean that in a ‘I hope you get your heart broken again’ kind of way. God.”
Kasper laughed. The sound was relieved, filled with a rush of affection. He hauled Felix into a hug, squeezing him hard. Felix’s nose hit his cheekbone, too hard and painfully real. He twisted his face to the side.
“Thanks, buddy. You’re a really good mate.” Kasper rubbed his hand up and down Felix’s back in familiar, gentle strokes. There was something awful in the words when combined with those intimate movements, so tender and personal.
Felix went still. Kasper was saying one thing, and doing another. It wasn’t fair on him, not one bit. He couldn’t call Felix his friend, and then touch him like they were more than that. This was something more than friendship, at least for Felix.
“No,” Felix said, quick and rough. “No, sorry. I can’t do this.”
“What?” Kasper said, confused.
Felix clenched his fists so tightly that the muscles in his hands popped. A whiff of dust, mixed with the humid scent of a brewing thunderstorm, hit his nostrils. “I can’t live like this any more. It’s not enough.”
Kasper was floored. “What? I don’t, I mean – what?”
“I thought it would be enough, to just be here for you when you needed it. But you have to – you have to know. It’s not like you don’t – it’s not – I can’t keep doing this. I can’t always be here when you need me, and then pretend I don’t care when you’re fine, because it hurts too much, OK? It hurts.”
Felix’s eyes were wet. He wiped at them roughly with the back of his hand. “I’ve spent decades trying to get rid of this thing, this torch I’ve been carrying around for you, and all that keeps it burning is pure pigheadedness, but I can’t any more. OK? I can’t. For my own sake. I’m sorry. You’re going to have to find someone else’s shoulder to cry on.”
“Felix,” Kasper said, sounding like the words were torn from his throat. He looked petrified now, rabbit-heart pounding in his neck. Felix had seen that expression on his face before, whenever Felix made too many jokes about being gay.
Kasper was afraid to even hear the words. Why was Kasper so scared all the time?
Before Kasper could say anything else, Rima appeared in the doorway. There were dark, hollow bags under her eyes.
“He’s here! Felix, Oscar is here!” she yelled, with pure panic in her voice.
Felix stopped thinking about Kasper immediately.
“Oscar,” he said, fear running through him. Oscar was here while Harriet was on the loose. This couldn’t be happening.
HARRIET
There was a reason Harriet had liked make-up so much when she was alive. It was a way to control how people saw her. She could make sure that everyone’s first impression of her was positive: someone who was careful about her appearance; sociable and fashionable. They would never see the real person, hiding behind the mask.
Because Harriet had always known, deep down, that she was a mess. She was inarticulate, embarrassing. She could be mean. If people got to see the real her, they would hate her immediately. It was better that they only saw the filtered, artificial Harriet that she’d made up.
She wished desperately that her old disguise still worked. Because she was exposed now, completely and utterly. Everyone here saw her for who she truly was, regardless of her perfect eyeliner.
Harriet hid on the roof, giving her energy levels a chance to equalize and calming the torrent of emotion inside her. The sky went dark, and then a pair of headlights lit up the road below. A lone figure parked and walked over to Mulcture Hall. A human was coming into the building.
Harriet let out a yelp of delight – she could use this! Her plan of possession could still work! Then she saw their face.
The man looked familiar. A bit older, but his features were almost identical to Felix’s. Didn’t Felix say he had a twin? He’d said that his brother always visited on the anniversary of his death. Oscar, his name was.
This was perfect. She knew exactly where Oscar was going to go – and she was willing to bet that where Felix was, Kasper would follow. With both Kasper and Oscar in the same room, the rest would be easy. Kasper had leapt inside that police officer without any hesitation. If she got him close enough to Oscar, then all she had to do was make sure that she was there to piggy-back the possession.
Harriet ran down to Felix’s room. She would be nice, and give Oscar a bit of time to mourn before she made Kasper possess him.
To her surprise, Leah was sleeping on the floor. She looked faint and muted, like the Shells had been. Claudia was curled up at her mother’s side with one tiny fist wrapped in the fabric of her dress, whining softly.
“… Leah?”
The girl didn’t stir, but there was a tormented expression on her face. When Claudia caught sight of Harriet, she stopped crying. She rolled over onto her back, regarding her with a surprisingly intelligent expression. Then she reached out towards Harriet with chubby arms, looking at her almost greedily. Harriet crouched down to wrap her hands around the baby’s torso, but someone ran into the room before she could touch her. Surprised, Harriet jumped backwards. It was Felix.
“What the hell are you doing?” Felix shouted, as Claudia started screeching.
“What do you mean?” Harriet asked. “I was trying to stop her crying.”
“Not the baby! Is he here yet?” He looked around, wild-eyed and chest heaving. “What are you going to do to Oscar?”
She sighed. She’d been hoping that Felix would never have to know about this. It wasn’t like it would hurt Oscar to be possessed. Once they reached her gran’s house, he’d be free to leave, confused but unharmed.
“Go away. This is none of your business.”
“What … what are you planning? I know you attacked Greg. I’m not letting you take my brother too!”
Rima and Kasper appeared behind him in an act of perfect coordination, looking equally furious. How did they all fit together so well? Why had they not made space for her?