“Yes, thanks. Later,” said Shadow. He had turned his back and gone to the window.
I was beginning to suspect that he had some kind of problem with nudity. Different customs, I thought with a shrug. I’d heard there were some tribes in the cold South who pleasured with all their clothes on. Maybe the ghost’s land was another such cold place. I sat in my bath and started sponging myself down with lovely warm water. It made up for the chill in the fireless room.
“So are you going to try to get pregnant? Am I in your way here?” asked the ghost.
“Oh, no! I’m not even eating meat.”
“Meat? What has meat got to do with it?”
“You can’t get pregnant if you’re not eating meat. It’s simply not possible. Everyone knows... Is it different in your land?”
“We’re fertile no matter what. So why are you not allowed to get pregnant?
“Allowed? It’s not that. I’ve been stuck here at Willow all my life, and I want to see the world first. And I don’t want to go off like my mother and leave my child to be brought up by other people. Especially not this family.”
“This family?”
But I’d had enough of personal talk. I felt uneasy enough voicing the shocking fact that I didn’t want to have children. Talking about wanting to see the world first reminded me that I had no plans to leave Willow for as long as Eff needed me. Depressing.
“This second pail of water’s for you,” I said, pulling my night shirt on. “You can use the basin and this washcloth. Help me pour the dirty water back into the pail. There’s a clean wash cloth and towel in that chest.”
He took the washing things behind the screen. The sound of him splashing around made me curious, but when I peered over the screen to see what his naked body was like, he squeaked and held the towel over his prick.
“Do you mind?” he said.
“What?”
He sighed. “Ghosts do not like to show their naked bodies,” he said patiently.
“Oh, fair enough. I was just curious. You look like a normal man.”
He signed again. “Yes, I have no tentacles anywhere. No, not even out of my behind,” he added, adjusting the towel so I couldn’t see his buttocks.
I left him to it. If I stood in the right place, I could still see him in the mirror without his knowing. He was nicely shaped, but it was difficult to get over the sickly paleness of his skin. The sweet way he was enjoying his wash made me feel unfair for spying on him. He was as dependant on me as a child would be and deserved the same respect.
I threw myself down onto the bed. My legs ached. Never walk two miles in evening shoes.
“Are you any good at massaging feet, Shadow?” I called, as I heard him pouring out the water.
“I have had some experience,” he said.
“Would you rub mine, now you’ve finished washing?”
“Certainly.”
“I hope you won’t be offended if we don’t make love afterwards,” I said, as he approached the bed. “I only want a massage.”
He looked startled, but since that seemed to be his second most common expression, I didn’t inquire.
“I do not mind at all,” he said, as he settled himself on the bed at my feet. “I think it would complicate matters if we were to become sexually involved.”
“Sex-u-ally involved,” I laughed as I sounded out the entire huge phrase. “You’re so adorable. I begin to see what my mother saw in ghosts. You’ve gone all red again.”
“This is a taboo subject among my people. Sexual intercourse, I mean.”
“Really? How do you get baby ghosts?”
“We do it plenty,” he snapped, though his mouth was turned up at the corners. “But without talking about it all the time. Are there no taboo subjects for you people?”
“It’s not really polite to bandy about the name of the man who sired you. Although everyone talks about my sire. Not wanting to have children is definitely wrong.”
“Do not worry. Your secret is safe with me.” He was a good massage-boy, with nice strong thumbs. “I suppose sex between men is taboo too. This is why Lord Bright has been exiled, is it not?”
“Bless, yes! How did you know? About Bright, I mean. He’s very discreet.”
“I could see they were a couple. It is quite common among our people. No one worries about it. Love is love.”
“That’s very reasonable of you.” I felt oddly comfortable talking about this dirty subject with him. “So do you pleasure men? What do you do exactly?”
“No, no! It is not mandatory. Just accepted. But I understand why it’s disliked here. Your whole culture seems to be about getting women pregnant. I get the impression it’s difficult for you to conceive.”
“Of course. Isn’t it the same for your people?”
“No, it is quite easy.”
“Really? Now that makes sense.”
He laughed. “I am glad you think so.”
“Eff told me that my mother had no intention of getting pregnant, that she wasn’t even eating meat and yet your countryman’s seed made her flower. You must be very fertile. Well, I don’t want to compound her mistake by getting pregnant to another ghost. So no loving. Lady knows what they’d say about another half-breed.”
“Wqhucla ir hariti,” said the ghost. “Look, no sexual relations is totally fine with me. I am not some kind of animal, you know.”
I felt the sting of rejection. Most men adore making love and get sulky when you don’t want to. Was I so ugly? I told myself to toughen up. You can’t be attractive to everybody. And who knew what ghosts liked?
“I guess I do look rather strange to you. Like you look to me.”
“Exactly,” said the ghost as if relieved. “Nothing to be hurt by. Let us just be friends. Hey, now tell me about this Blessing ritual. Can your mages really make seeds more fertile?”
“The peasants certainly think so. If the seed doesn’t get blessed, they won’t even sow it. Auntie Eff says it’s all rubbish, but—”
A loud knocking sounded at the window. Shadow gasped, dived off the bed and rolled underneath it.
I pulled open the curtains and was astonished (and delighted, curse it) to see Scintillant hovering outside.
“Happy Blessing time,” he shouted, waving a bottle of sparklewine at me. “Let us tread the Blessing path together.”
I shook my head. “Tired,” I mouthed at him and made to pull the curtains closed.
Of course it didn’t do any good. Mages can do exactly as they like and Scintillant simply lifted the latch of the window with magic and pushed it open.
I pushed him back as he tried to come in.
“No, you don’t,” I said.
“Oh, Sweetie. You’re looking so lovely tonight.”
“Go away. I’m sure there’s plenty of others slavering for it.” I shouldn’t have added that last bit. It sounded petulant.
“Jealous, darling?”
“No. Just tired,” I snapped.
“Oh, Sweetie, I’ll pep you up.” He stroked my cheek with his finger tip. “You know I can.”
No point in arguing with him there.