A friend?
Between Malek, Xander, and Rafe, she clearly had more men in her life than she would ever need. But what about a friend? Maybe that was why she felt so lost in the clouds. Cassi wasn't there to ground her.
"Tell me his name," the girl said, almost cajoling.
Lyana opened her mouth. Rafe. But she couldn't say it. The word clogged in her throat—too painful to voice, as though if she spoke it, all the yearning she was trying to erase would be real. Instead, she took the coward's way out, or maybe just the loyal one. "I had a mate in the world above. His name was Xander."
"Xander?"
"Lysander Taetanus, the Crown Prince of the House of Whispers."
"Hmm," the girl muttered. "A prince?"
"Yes," Lyana whispered, voice failing her. "I miss him very much."
And she did. She really did. She missed Xander's kindness and the warm smiles he offered so freely. She missed his hope and the way he always seemed to believe everything would work out in the end. Mostly, she missed his acceptance. There had been an honesty between them, an understanding. Maybe he hadn't known about her magic until the very end, but even before that, he'd known her—all the ways they fit together, and the many ways they didn't. Despite it all, he'd been ready to accept her as his queen.
Yet, she missed Rafe more.
Therein lay the problem.
"I—"
Lyana broke off as she turned to find nothing but an empty room behind her. The girl was gone, just as mysteriously as she'd come. It hurt more than she thought it would to have this brief moment of friendship stripped away, a reminder of how much she craved it.
Cassi, she thought, staring back out at the thick fog as she wiped her tears away. Where are you? Why haven't you come? Why haven't you found me?
That was the truth of it, at last.
She didn't just feel alone—she felt abandoned.
Lyana had spent her life preparing to leave her home in the House of Peace, to say farewell to her brother, to walk away from her family. She'd spent weeks trying to say goodbye to Rafe, and then finally one morning she'd done just that. She'd even shared a parting moment with Xander in the sacred nest as her magic swirled around them, a mutual understanding.
But leaving Cassi had been sudden.
One moment she had been in the House of Whispers, and the next alone in the middle of the sea, surrounded by strangers. There had been no time to prepare for life without her best friend, no time to fortify herself for the absence. If she were being honest, a small part of her didn’t think she'd have to. If the roles had been reversed, nothing would have kept Lyana from ripping apart the skies in search of her friend.
What was Cassi doing in the world above?
Where, in Aethios's name, was she?
Lyana studied the sky one more time, waiting for something, anything, to break up the impenetrable darkness.
Nothing came.
After a while, she retreated into her room, a hollow void in her heart. It had been naïve, maybe, but in all her hours dreaming of adventure, she had never once imagined that when she finally found one, it would leave her feeling so alone.
23
Xander
When Xander walked into his study, he was surprised to find Cassi there waiting, the whites of her wings painted pink by the dying light of the sun. She looked a million miles away, staring out the window with her soft lips slightly pursed and a wrinkle in her brow. Whatever thought had been in his mind fled at the sight, replaced by the sudden urge to make her smile.
"If you meant to catch me by surprise, you succeeded," he murmured into the silence. Cassi started and turned toward him. "Though I admit, I enjoy this sort of surprise far more than your usual sort. No daggers. No chokeholds. Some might say you're losing your touch."
"I thought your dignity could use a break to recover," she drawled, then quickly eyed the door behind his back. A wicked gleam flashed across her irises. "But if you want me to toss you up against another wall…"
He fought a rising flush as the image filled his vision—Cassi up against him, her hands on his chest, their bodies pressed tight, their breath mingling as the fire crackled across the silence.
"No. No, I don't think that's necessary," he stammered, stifling the thought and focusing on safer ground. What the gods was that? "Are you here for a book?"
"Actually, no."
"No?"
"I have something for you."
Eyebrows raised, he found himself unable to keep his gaze from straying to her face. She was grinning now, the sight drawing him in like a flower stretching to the sun, something innate, almost physical in the pull. "What?"
"A present," she replied coyly.
His lips curved into a smile. "You bought me a present?"
"Well, no. Not quite. I asked Helen to have something made, which she did, using the crown's resources. So, really, you bought yourself a present."
"A technicality."
"Precisely."
He waited for her to give him a box or move to the side or do anything really, but she didn’t. She stood there and stared, an unfamiliar sensation in the air. If he didn’t know her better, he'd say she was nervous. But Cassi never got nervous. Did she? The very idea made him want to laugh. "And am I allowed to see this mysterious item I bought myself?"
"Oh, right."
She bent to retrieve a box from the floor and handed it to him. He recognized the insignia immediately. Metal ore and precious stones were his house's largest exports, the blacksmith's guild its richest, and he'd seen this emblem many times before, just not burned into gifts meant for him. It belonged to the wealthiest shop in the city, and for Helen to have spent that much royal coin, Cassi's design had clearly been deemed more than worthy.
Xander opened the lid, heart thumping with an eagerness he couldn't quite explain. The last few weapons he'd been presented left him feeling nothing but dread, yet this was different. For whatever reason, his fingers trembled ever so slightly as he removed the bundle from the box and unwound the cloth, a giddy excitement fluttering beneath his skin.
"After I agreed to teach you, I asked Helen to take me to the storerooms to see what sorts of weapons you'd previously been trained with," Cassi explained as he undid the wrappings. "Broadswords. Bows. Clubs. Staffs. There was a whole array of special devices for your hand, all manner of strange contraptions, and none of it seemed to suit you. So I thought I would have something made instead."
Xander finally removed the last bit of cloth, revealing a matching set of steel cylinders with leather straps. "They're…arm guards?"
"Of a sort." She stepped forward. "If I may?"
Xander nodded and held out his arms as she removed the guards from his hold. It was only when she started attaching them to his forearms that he noticed how easily the gesture had come. He tried to hide his disability from most people—keeping his right arm by his side, holding it behind his back, shrouding it from view. With Cassi, he didn't seem to mind putting it on display. He was comfortable, he was shocked to realize, as she leaned over the rounded end of his arm and touched him, a focused look in her eyes and not a single ounce of hesitation.