But once I do, I can’t help answering back: I know. Because I do, even though I don’t know how I know.
It’s only later, after I’m washing the conditioner out of my hair, that something occurs to me. It wasn’t that I was bored when I first got to my room. It wasn’t that I didn’t know what to do with myself that made me unable to settle.
It was the fact that Hudson wasn’t there, in my head, saying all the ridiculous, snarky, hilarious things that he normally says that had me so discombobulated.
It doesn’t make any sense, but somehow, in the space of only a couple of days, I’ve grown used to having his voice in my head. I’ve grown used to his running commentary and his puffed-up opinions and even the way he pushes at me to get me to admit what I really think and feel.
I don’t know how it happened when I hate the guy and everything he stands for—everything he once did. But it did happen, and now I don’t have a clue what to do about the fact that maybe, just maybe, I’m beginning to think of Hudson as something more than an enemy. Not a friend—I’m not childish enough to lower my guard that much—but something that isn’t entirely hateful, either.
It’s not the best description ever, and I expect a snarky comment as soon as I make it, but nothing comes. Because Hudson is doing what he said he would—giving me the privacy I need.
And that just makes me more confused.
I get out of the shower and dry off so quickly that my PJs are still sticking to damp spots when I brush my teeth and finally head to bed.
As I slide under my covers, I glance over at Macy’s side of the room and realize Hudson is gone. He’s so quiet that I figure he must be asleep. Which is probably a good thing, considering I have to think, really think, and the last thing I need right now is him peering over my shoulder while I do.
Because the truth is, I can’t just sit around waiting for him to do something awful. I can already feel cracks in the shield I put up to keep him locked away, and who knows what he’ll do once it’s weak enough for him to get through?
Now that it’s the weekend, I’ve got to step up my search for the objects I need to get him out of my head. Jaxon reminded me just how dangerous and untrustworthy he is. Add that to the cracks in the wall…and suddenly it’s beginning to feel like it’s going to be days, not weeks, before he breaks through.
And then we’ll all be screwed.
45
Leave Your Daddy
Issues at the Door
I wake up to a screaming alarm and sunlight filtering in through the one window in our dorm room.
“Turn it off,” Macy complains from her bed, where she’s busy shoving a pillow over her head. “For the love of God, turn it off.”
I do, but then I roll out of bed because it’s nine fifteen and I have to be in the cafeteria in forty-five minutes. Which shouldn’t be such a chore, but I had a hard time sleeping last night, and today I am dragging already.
I make my way to the bathroom as quietly as I can to splash water on my face and brush my teeth, but Macy rolls over after a minute and asks, “Where are you going?”
“I’m meeting Jaxon for breakfast; then we’re going to the library to research.” I stare at her sleepy eyes. “You do remember I have a vampire in my brain and my walls won’t hold him in check forever, yes?”
Macy groans and whines into her pillow for a minute, but then she pushes back her covers and sits up, feet on the floor.
I burst out laughing at my first good look at her, and she gives me a disgruntled pout in return. I try to apologize, but I can’t. Every time I look at her, I end up grinning, because she looks ridiculous.
Her hot-pink hair is sticking up in what looks like a rooster comb and her eye makeup—which she must have gone heavy on last night—has smeared all over her eyes so that she looks like a raccoon. An adorable raccoon, but a raccoon nonetheless.
“Why are you getting up?” I ask as I make my way to my closet. “Go back to sleep. You look like you need it.”
“You have no idea. One of the wolves had a party last night, and it got a little out of control.” She waves a hand up and down in front of her face. “Hence the old-hag look.”
“That’s not quite how I would describe it, but okay.” I grin at her. “So that begs the question, why are you getting up when you have all day to recuperate?”
“Because I’m going with you, silly.”
“What? No, you don’t have to do that. We’re just going to sit around and read dusty books all day.”
“I can sit around with the best of them.” Macy pushes to her feet and stumbles her way over to the bathroom. “Besides, I’m really good at research. Like, wicked good, even without the spells. So I’ll help you until I have to meet Gwen at two.”
“There’s a spell to help you research?” I ask, fascinated at the idea.
She rolls her eyes—or at least, I think she does. The insanely heavy, smeared eye makeup makes it impossible to tell. “There’s a spell for everything if you look hard enough.”
“Everything?” I ask, but she’s already shut the bathroom door behind her. Seconds later, I hear the shower go on.
“Everything,” Hudson answers. “Witches are nothing if not practical creatures. Why do something the hard way if you can hack it?”
He’s sitting on the floor near the door, knees up and arms draped over them. For the first time since he showed up in my head, he’s dressed in a pair of faded jeans. They’re ripped at the knees, frayed around the bottom, and somehow manage to look amazing on him. As does the white T-shirt he’s wearing.
“What about vampires?” I ask, because I’m curious. And because I’m anxious to distract myself from the fact that Hudson looks good—and that I’ve noticed that fact. “Are they practical, too?”
He snorts. “Only when it comes to who they’re going to eat.”
“That’s awful!” I tell him, but I’m laughing just a little.
“Yeah, well, awful and true usually go hand in hand.” He runs his palms over his knees in a gesture that looks an awful lot like nerves. “Or haven’t you figured that out yet?”
That he believes this says a lot about Hudson. But he’s not usually so brutal, and I can’t help wondering what happened in the middle of the night that turned him so massively bitter. I think about asking him, but things are relatively peaceful right now, and I’d rather try to keep it that way. Especially since I’m meeting up with Jaxon in less than an hour.