This time there’s no hiding it as I full-on melt. “I’m really glad I found you, too,” I say as I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him close. “And ignored you every time you told me to get the hell out of Katmere Academy.”
He pulls me even closer. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Yeah, me neither.” I press a kiss to his collarbone before pulling back. “Then again, you might have had a point. Considering the whole Lia thing and now the whole Hudson thing… I mean, I’m glad I didn’t know this was coming, because I would have run as far and as fast as I could. And then I would have missed out on you. On us. But your warning does make a lot more sense in retrospect.”
I expect him to laugh with me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he gets that tortured look on his face that I hate, the one that says he’s beating himself up over things that are completely beyond his control.
I think about trying to coax him out of the mood, about doing what I usually do and try to talk some sense into him. But the more I learn about Jaxon, the more I’ve learned that that doesn’t always work on him. So instead of sitting him down for a heart-to-heart, I do the only other thing I can think of.
I pull away and say, “Catch me if you can.”
One incredulous eyebrow goes up. “What did you just say?”
I take several big steps backward. “I said, catch me if you can.”
“You do realize I’m a vampire, right?” Now both his eyebrows are raised almost to his hairline. “I mean, I can just…” He fades the distance between us. “Catch you.”
He goes to wrap his arms around me, but I push him away. “Not like that.”
“You mean there’s another way?”
I wiggle my brows at him, even as I take several more steps back. “There’s always another way.”
“Oooookay. I’ll bite—”
“Not if I can help it, you won’t.” And then I do what Hudson taught me yesterday in the laundry room. I reach down deep inside myself for all the colored threads and wrap my hand around the bright platinum one. When my fingers wrap around it, I feel that same strange heaviness coming over me.
“Grace, are you okay—” Jaxon breaks off, eyes widening in shock as I start to turn to stone right in front of him. But unlike that time in the hallway, I don’t hold on until I’m a statue. Instead, I let go as soon as it feels like the shift is complete.
And it works! Just like last night, I’m a gargoyle, but I can still move around. I can still talk. I can still be Grace, just in gargoyle form.
“Oh my God!” Jaxon says, coming closer again. “Look at you.”
“Pretty cool, huh?” I hold a hand out for him to examine. “I mean, except for the horns.” I run a self-conscious hand over one of them.
“I like the horns,” Jaxon tells me with a grin. “They give you character.”
“Oh yeah. Sooooo much character.”
“I’m serious. They look good. You look good.”
“Yeah?” I hate how vulnerable I feel when I ask that question, hate that I need to know Jaxon loves this side of me, too. Which gives me a whole new appreciation for how Jaxon felt when he was waiting to see how I would react to him being a vampire.
“Yeah,” he says as he reaches out and runs a finger down the back of my hand from wrist to fingertip.
It feels good. We feel good.
“So, have you been practicing shifting into your gargoyle form?” he asks as we walk a little ways together. “You did it so easily.”
“Just last night, Hudson helped me—”
I break off as Jaxon’s face goes completely blank. “Hudson helped you?” he repeats.
“Yeah, just for a few minutes when I was doing laundry,” I tell him, suddenly feeling the need to babble to get the words out faster. “I mean, it was no big deal. I was nervous about today, so he explained to me how shifters do it. Turns out, it works the same for gargoyles.”
“Wait a minute. So you were nervous about coming out here with everyone?” Jaxon’s jaw tightens, regret and self-disgust swirling in the depths of his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have brought you here alone first and worked as long as you wanted to. Or told them we couldn’t come. I’d never force you into something you felt weird doing.”
“I know that. I just…” I drift off with a shrug, not really sure what I want to say or how I want to say it.
“Just what?” he demands.
“It’s embarrassing, okay? Everybody here make it looks so easy to be a paranormal, and it’s humiliating to admit how freaked out I was about consciously shifting for the first time. I didn’t want to make a fool of myself in front of everyone.”
“First of all, there’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about. Most people are nervous about their powers as they learn to use them. It’s totally normal, and I would have said that to you if you’d asked me. And second, it’s humiliating to admit that to me, but not to Hudson? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Come on, Jaxon, that’s not what I meant at all. I just want you to see me as strong, you know?” I go to run a hand through my hair, totally forgetting that it’s stone as well, so I end up just patting my stone hair instead. Because that isn’t awkward at all.
“I don’t need to see you that way, Grace. You are that way. You’re strong and powerful and amazing and no one knows that better than I do—you saved my life twice.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know, but that’s what I see when I look at you. So if you need help for once or feel uncertain for a little while, why wouldn’t you come to me? Why would you go to Hudson of all people?”
“Damn it, Jaxon. I didn’t go to Hudson with anything, but it’s not like I had a choice. I can’t get away from him, so what am I supposed to do?”
Jaxon’s eyes go watchful. “What does that mean exactly, that you don’t have a choice? What don’t you have a choice about?”
I can practically see the wheels turning in his head as he tries to reason this whole thing out, and it suddenly occurs to me that telling him that Hudson knows everything I’m thinking is akin to walking through a minefield without a metal detector. Terrifying, dangerous, and potentially very, very messy.
But it’s obvious from his face—and his questions—that it’s too late to step back now, and I’m not sure I would anyway, because lying to my mate seems like a really bad idea. Then again, so does jumping down her throat when she makes a simple comment about a simple choice she made for herself about her own power…