Clover waited, but Darby didn’t finish. “Say it.”
“Girls,” Darby finished on a whisper.
“Ah,” Clover said, a smirk crossing her features. “I do like girls.”
Darby’s look of confusion was adorable. Her little nose in the air, her eyes darting here and there, as if she were trying to make sense of it all.
Clover stepped forward until their bodies nearly touched. Darby hiccuped in alarm and tried to step back, but there was nowhere to go.
“I like both. I like boys, and I like girls. Actually, I just like everyone.”
“Everyone?” Darby asked.
“Some people don’t grow up feeling like a boy or a girl,” Clover said, speaking from experience. “Some people just grow up feeling like a person. I don’t feel binary about the whole thing. I’m open to all sorts of love.”
“Oh… okay.” Darby chewed on her bottom lip.
“I’m open to this,” Clover said.
Before Darby could say anything, Clover tipped her chin up and pressed their lips together. Darby’s lips were so damn soft and sweet. As if she were made of something that much purer. Darby was too damn good for her. That fact had always been known. But standing there at some rich, fancy-ass party, wearing a ridiculous gown, talking about love, she hadn’t been able to hold back. All she’d done for the last year around Darby was hold back. And dammit, this would all go down in flames, but she wanted one taste of the sweet elixir before giving it up forever.
Darby stumbled backward a step. Her hand went to her lips. Those perfect, innocent eyes were wide with alarm.
“What’s wrong, Darbs?” Clover asked as quiet as a mouse. “Don’t you want this?”
“Yes,” she whispered before she could stop herself.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I can’t,” Darby said with a worried shake of her head. “Sonali… she doesn’t know. She’s been talking marriage prospects.”
Clover’s face darkened. “Marriage prospects,” she said hollowly.
“Yes. She’s going to bring in gentlemen after the tournament.”
“Gentlemen,” she said, her voice rough around the edges. “But, Darby… you don’t like boys.”
“I know,” Darby said, her eyes filling with tears. “I cherish this kiss, my first kiss, Clover. I always will. But it can never happen again.”
Then Darby ran away down the stone steps into the garden. Her brilliant gown flowing out behind her as she raced away. Clover had always known she would never get to keep someone like Darby. One kiss should have been enough. Instead, all she felt was heartbreak.
41
The Past
Running wasn’t her smartest move.
She just hadn’t been able to stand there and listen to Audria’s soothing words, the words she had waited her entire life to hear. They weren’t feasible. Nothing Audria had said even made sense. There was no world that Kerrigan could go back to and become Lady Felicity, First of the House of Cruse again. The House of Dragons had shaped her beyond recognition. She wasn’t a princess, not even a lady. She was a fighter, a weapon, a survivor.
Tears blurred her eyes, and she ripped off the mask in the garden. She could hardly see where she was going, only that her past had caught up with her and she wanted to forget any of this had ever happened. That it all had the ability to make her cry at all.
A figure blocked her path. She hardly saw him and nearly careened into him.
“Sorry,” she gasped, stepping around him to try to find an empty space to grieve her old life.
But the man caught her elbow. “Kerrigan?”
She stilled, her eyes drifting up to meet blue. The last person she wanted to meet tonight. “Kivrin.”
He looked around the gardens. No one had yet noticed them. “What are you doing here? How did you even get into my party?” He fingered a lock of her tresses. “What have you done to your hair?”
Kerrigan tugged her arm out of his grasp. “Don’t touch me.”
“This is unacceptable,” Kivrin said with fury in his tone. “You were not invited to this event. You should not be attending parties.”
“And why not? Are you ashamed of me?” she hissed. “Oh wait, you gave me up. Of course you are. Here’s a hint: leave me alone.”
“I would leave you alone if you didn’t stumble into my events. I want you to leave.”
Kerrigan couldn’t leave, not yet. She fought for a lie. “I have one week to find a patron or else I will work for the Society for life. I’ll give up everything I’ve worked for.”
His eyes softened marginally. “And you thought you’d find one here?”
She inclined her head slightly. “Yes.”
“Then you are more foolish than I thought. Why did you not come to me if that was the bargain? I could have helped you find someone.”
She laughed at him. “I don’t need your help. You’ve done quite enough.”
Kivrin grasped her arm again, towering over her. He should have been intimidating in his grandeur, but he seemed smaller than ever.
“Listen and listen closely,” he growled.
But Kerrigan never had to hear what he said because a hand came down and clamped on Kivrin’s shoulder.
“I would release her, good sir.”
Fordham Ollivier stood there, standing eye to eye with her father. His mask had been removed, and his stormy-gray eyes raged. He didn’t even look ridiculous in the powder blue. He looked like he belonged.
Kivrin let Kerrigan’s arm go. “So, this is how you got into the party?”
“I was invited,” Fordham said evenly. He gestured to Kerrigan. “Come on. Let’s go.”
“This is a bad idea,” Kivrin said, glancing between them.
“Not any more than you are,” Kerrigan spat.
She followed Fordham away from her father. Her chest ached, and she felt like she had been wrung out. She didn’t even pay attention to where Fordham was leading until they were in the gazebo at the back of the property, where they had all agreed to meet. Fordham gestured for her to take a seat, which she did, burying her head into her hands.
“What was that all about?” he asked.
“It’s complicated.”
“That guy was a total dick to you.”
Suddenly, she just couldn’t pretend anymore. She was tired of hiding who she was. After Audria’s confession and her dealings with her dad, she couldn’t sit by and act like everything was fine.
“That guy is my father,” she said, looking up to meet his eyes.
Fordham balked at that. “Kivrin Argon is your father?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“But he’s a royal? And you’re…”
“Half-Fae?”
“Dragon Blessed,” he finished. “Obviously, your father would have to be Fae if your mother was human, but I thought that the House of Dragons was a way to advance in society. I gathered that they took kids off the streets and out of poverty to help them have a second chance in society. If your father is a royal…”