Carter and Kelly watched him warily but didn’t make any aggressive movement toward him. Gordo arched an eyebrow at me. I shook my head. Nothing further needed to be said.
Joe sat along the outside of the group, looking at his mother as she gnawed on what had been a rabbit at one point. His ears twitched as I approached, but that was all the acknowledgment I got. I didn’t think he was upset, but I could have been wrong.
I sat next to him, leaving enough space between us that we didn’t touch.
His throat was still red, but the blood looked tacky. The wound had healed.
I said, “He didn’t mean it.”
Joe huffed.
I said, “You don’t understand how it is for him. You weren’t here.”
Joe growled low in his throat.
I ignored it. “He didn’t mean it. Not like you think.”
Joe didn’t look at me.
“Tomorrow,” I said, and this time, it was a promise.
I didn’t say anything more.
We watched our packs as they ran together. As they lay together. As they bickered and laughed and howled out their songs together.
We sat there for the rest of the night.
And I didn’t say anything as Joe moved closer to me, pressing up against my side as the sky began to lighten in the east.
love
I WENT into the garage later in the day so Tanner and Chris could go home and get some sleep. They blinked at me blearily before yawning and heading out toward the SUV where Elizabeth waited to take them away.
Before I’d gotten out of the car, she’d stopped me with a hand to the arm and said, “Whatever you decide, make sure it’s the right choice for you.”
Rico nodded at me as I entered the garage. “Gordo’s in the office,” he said quietly. “Is it weird to be surprised every time I see him here again?”
I shrugged. “We’ll get used to it. It’s not like he’s going anywhere.”
Rico snorted. “That’s what I would have said three years ago.”
And yeah. That stung, because he was right. I would have said the same thing. And I didn’t know if I could trust my own words.
Gordo was sitting behind his desk, hunting and pecking at the keyboard as he frowned at the computer screen.
“What is this?” he growled. “None of this makes any sense.”
“We had to upgrade to a new system while you were gone,” I said. “The old one was outdated.”
“It wasn’t outdated. It worked just fine with what I used it for.”
“You weren’t using it.”
He glared up at me. “This going to be a thing now?”
“Probably,” I said easily.
“For how long?”
“As long as I think it’s necessary.”
He scowled at the monitor. “Fucking Alphas,” he muttered.
“You okay in here?”
“Peachy. I’ll just sit here and try to figure out how to use something that we don’t even need.”
“Pain in my ass,” I said as I went out to the shop floor.
RICO WAS right. It was weird to see him there.
To see him leaning against the office door, arms across his chest, as he listened to Rico singing a song in Spanish.
To hear him growling into the phone at a supplier, telling them they were out of their goddamn mind if they thought he was going to pay that much, he was running a business and he could go somewhere else.
To feel his hand on the back of my neck, squeezing once as he walked by.
It was weird.
Good, but weird.
“YOU WANT a ride?” he asked as we closed the garage. We waved at Rico as he drove off in his old Corolla. It was only three, but we were slow today.
I shook my head.
“He waiting for you?”
“Probably.”
“You gonna fix this?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you care?”
He scoffed. “Right. Why the fuck do I care. I wonder why the fuck I care about you. And Joe. And your bullshit. Huh, Ox. I don’t know.”
“It’s good to know some things don’t change.”
“Use your fucking head, Ox. I care about this because I care about you.”
“Yeah, Gordo. I know.”
“Then fix this,” he said. “We didn’t risk our lives for this long just to come back and have both of you pussy out. That’s not how these things work.”
I couldn’t help but feel a little awed by him. “That’s different.”
“What is?” he asked, locking the front doors.
“Used to be, you didn’t want me in this. With them. With this.”
He tilted his face toward the heavens as he rolled his eyes, like he was asking the Good Lord for the strength to deal with someone like me. I’d seen that look a lot in my lifetime. But coming from him, it didn’t feel like it did with others. He was my friend. Still.
“Used to be,” he said, slightly mocking, “I hadn’t been through what I’ve been through now.”
“You didn’t care about them before.”
He looked pained. “Things were… different. Okay? I didn’t know then what I know now.”
“Which is?”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Not in the long run. And you shouldn’t be talking to me about this, Ox. You know that. He’s waiting for you. He’s been waiting for you. It’s time for you to pull your head out of your ass.”
“Ah,” I said. “I suppose I could say the same for you, then. If things have changed. If you’ve been through shit. If you can pull your head out of your ass.”
“Ox, I swear to—”
“Chickenshit.”
“Fuckhead.”
I grinned at him.
He reached out and cupped the back of my neck and brought our foreheads together. We kept our eyes open. He looked blurry this close up. I swore I felt little tendrils of his magic arcing along my skin, little pricks of electric light.
We stayed like that for a moment. Then he pulled his head back and kissed my forehead, a firm press of lips. He pushed me away and stalked toward his truck. “Fix it, Ox,” he called over his shoulder. “Or end it. Let him explain to you or don’t. Just do something, because the longer you draw this out, the more I want to punch you in the face. Your ridiculous feelings are spreading through all of us and it makes me want to vomit.”
I loved that man more than I could ever say.
HE WAS waiting for me on the dirt road, just as I knew he would be.
I couldn’t spit out not yet. I couldn’t walk by him and pretend he wasn’t there.
I couldn’t pretend like my heart hadn’t been broken for a very long time.
That I was indifferent to him standing in front of me.
Not now. Not anymore.
He said, “Hey, Ox.”
I said, “Hey, Joe.”
He smiled, but it was a trembling thing.
I tried to smile back. I don’t know how good it was.
He said, “Guess we have to talk.”
I said, “Yeah. Guess we do.”