And Thomas said, “No. He will spend the rest of his days rotting away in a cell formed by magic. The magic won’t allow him to shift. For all intents and purposes, it has taken his wolf away from him.”
My hands curled at my sides. “Why didn’t you kill him?”
He watched me with sad eyes. “Because revenge is the lesson taught by animals. Because it’s more difficult to show mercy. I showed him mercy because he’d never shown my family the same.”
And for a moment, I hated Thomas. I thought he was weak. A coward. And he knew that. He must have known every thought that ran through my head at that moment.
He waited.
It passed because I knew him. But I had to be honest.
I said, “I don’t know if I’d have been able to do the same.”
“No,” he said, not unkindly. “I don’t expect you would have.”
And we walked on through the forest.
MOM ASKED, “Is this what you really want?”
I said, “Yes.”
“He’s seventeen, Ox.”
“And nothing will happen until he turns eighteen.” I didn’t want to talk about that part with her anymore. It buzzed along my skin until I felt flushed and hot. It was too much. The thought of touching. Of being touched.
She looked out the window to the summer sun. “What happens if it doesn’t work out?”
And I didn’t want to think about that. I didn’t want to think about that at all, so I said, “It’s about chances. That’s how everything is.”
“WE’RE FRIENDS first,” Joe whispered in my ear. “You’re my best friend, Ox, and I promise that will never change. We’ll just be… more.”
“WILL I have to become a wolf?” I asked Thomas. “To be with Joe?”
“No,” Thomas said. “You don’t.”
“I’ve thought about it,” I said quietly.
“Have you?”
“Yeah.”
He waited.
“I don’t have to be?” I insisted.
“No,” he said again. “You’re wonderful just as you are.”
I wondered if this is what it felt like to have a father who loved you enough to stay despite all your faults.
ELIZABETH SAID, “There is no one else I would have picked for him. Ox, you will do wondrous things together. He will be a leader, and as an Alpha, he will put the pack above all else. But remember that you’ll always be his heart and soul.”
MARK SAID, “I knew. From the very first day, I knew that you were made for something great. I am proud to call you my friend and pack.”
CARTER SAID, “I hope you’re ready for werewolf stamina. Like, for real. You’re going to be sore. For days.”
KELLY SAID, “I really wish I hadn’t heard Carter say that. I need to pour bleach on my brain. For days.”
I DREAMT of wolves and a bloodred moon. They sang to me and I took their songs and made them my own. I ran with them on four legs and my heart thundered in my chest. I could see and smell and hear everything and it was all green, green, green and Beta orange and Alpha red. The colors fit against the song and we sang because we were pack pack pack.
“UH, OX?” Mom called as I got ready for work. The sky was starting to lighten outside.
“Yeah?”
“I think it’s started.”
“What?” I tucked in my shirt as I walked down the stairs.
She was on the porch, the front door standing open. I came up behind her.
She said, “At least he kept it off the porch like I asked.”
A fat rabbit lay on the grass, throat shredded, eyes wide and sightless. Blood pooled underneath it, tacky and dark. Flies buzzed around it, landing on stiff paws.
“I’m not eating that” was the first thing I said.
Mom elbowed me in the stomach. “He might be listening!” she hissed at me.
“I mean. Uh. Wow. That looks so good!” I was almost shouting.
“Subtle, Ox.”
“A werewolf is courting me with a dead rabbit. There’s nothing subtle here.”
“Couldn’t have been flowers,” she muttered as she slid on her rubber boots by the door.
“He gave you flowers,” I reminded her as she stepped down the porch.
“I meant for you,” she said. She bent over and grabbed the rabbit by the ears, pulling it up off the ground. It came up with a low crackle, grass stuck to the underside. “Courting. I swear.”
“Why are you touching it?” I said, sounding horrified.
“We can’t leave it here,” she said. “He’ll be offended.”
“I’ll be honest. I’m already offended.”
“Quick,” she said as she walked by me into the house. “Look up rabbit recipes on the Internet before you go to work.”
“You’re dripping on the floor!”
“It’s just a dead rabbit, Ox. You sound hysterical.”
“I sound hygienic.”
I wasn’t very good with Internet stuff, so I googled “what to do when your future werewolf mate/boyfriend/best friend courts you and brings you a dead rabbit.”
First, there was a lot of porn.
Then I found a recipe for Maltese rabbit stew.
It was delicious.
The stew, not the porn.
The porn was weird.
GORDO SAID, “So. You just got a basket of, like, eighty mini muffins delivered to you.”
I said, “Mini muffins?” and I looked up from a tire rotation I was doing on a 2012 Ford Escape.
“Uh. Yeah. Like, eighty of them.”
“That’s a lot of muffins.”
“Lynda from the bakery brought them over. Well, actually, her son did because the basket was too heavy for her to carry.”
I sighed.
Gordo narrowed his eyes. “Dreamy sigh,” he accused.
He followed me into his office.
Sure enough, there was a basket of mini muffins. The biggest basket I’d ever seen.
I knew what this was.
It didn’t count as hunting. Not that I was complaining. I didn’t think Gordo would appreciate dead animals at the shop.
There was a note in an envelope.
It said Shut up. This totally counts as hunting.
I sighed again.
“Ox,” Gordo said.
I said, “So. Mates are a thing, huh?”
And he said, “Ox.”
“YOU’RE JUST a child!” he shouted at me later after the others had gone home. It’d been building all day.
I said, “I’m twenty-three years old, Gordo. I haven’t been a child in a very long time.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Do you even know what this means? What you’ve agreed to? This is for life. When the wolf attaches, it is for life.”
“I know.” Thomas had told me. I might have had a minor meltdown, but that was yesterday. Today was different.