“Goddammit,” he muttered. “You fucking suck, Ox.”
“Yeah.”
We waited there. In the dark.
Then, “Ox, what if it’s him?” And it was said in a small voice. A choked voice. I’d never heard him sound like that before in all the years I’d known him.
I took a step forward and put my hand on his shoulder. He was shaking.
I thought of all the things I could say. And all the things I couldn’t because of what I didn’t know.
I said, “You’re not alone.”
He shuddered at that. I didn’t know if it was a good thing or bad.
“Do you remember? How it was when Dad left?”
He nodded.
“I was scared.”
“Ox—”
“But you helped me to not be scared anymore.”
“Yeah?”
And so I said, “And now it’s my turn to do it for you.”
He turned so fast that I was almost knocked down. But then Gordo had his arms around me and I felt the magic in him, the swirls of shapes and colors, and I searched for the green, the relief. It was there, buried deep in the violets and blues and reds and oranges.
BACK IN the house, I said, “Joe.”
He said, “Ox,” and took me by the hand. He led me away from the others. I knew they could still hear if they chose to. But I knew Thomas wouldn’t allow it.
We found a dark corner of the house, away from prying eyes. Away from any light.
His eyes glittered in the dark.
He said, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I said, “I know.”
He said, “He’s going to come.”
I said, “I know.”
Joe sighed. “He wants to be an Alpha.”
“Thomas.”
“Or me. To get to Dad. He tried it once. He could try it again.”
“Why? Why you? Why Thomas?”
Joe said, “There are things. Ox. I swear… I just. There are things you don’t know. I never….”
I tried to keep my anger in check. I did. He didn’t deserve it. Not after everything that’d happened.
But knowing I was kept in the dark. That Joe had….
I didn’t want to get angry.
I said, “Oh?”
Joe looked upset. “It’s not like that.”
“It sounds pretty clear what it’s like.”
“Ox.”
“I’m part of your pack.”
“Yes.”
“And I’m your mate.”
He said, “Yes.”
“But you’ve kept things from me.”
And Joe said, “Not by choice.”
“There’s always a choice,” I said, throwing his words back at him.
He whined low in his throat. “It’s not—”
“What is he? Thomas, I mean.”
“I would never lie to you.” Joe sounded like he was begging.
I put my hand on the back of his neck and brought our foreheads together. His bright eyes were on mine, never looking away.
I said, “I know,” because I did. I told myself I did.
Joe rubbed his nose against mine and said, “He was the highest-ranking Alpha out of all of us. He was the leader. In charge of all the wolves. He stepped down when I was taken. And for years there have been interim figureheads. But it’s the Bennett bloodline. It’s a birthright. And it is supposed to be mine.”
THEY LET him go after what happened to Joe. He told them, for the sake of his family, he needed to go, and maybe one day, Joe would be ready.
They didn’t want to, of course. Osmond and the men like him in positions of power. There were councils. And organizations. Meetings of werewolves. Alpha gatherings.
They went on even though Thomas did not.
He turned away in order to save his son.
And then he just never went back.
No wonder Osmond freaked about me being human. Being courted by Joe.
Joe was meant to be the next great leader.
Just like he told me he would be when he was a kid.
I should have tried harder.
I should have asked more questions.
But when the fantastic reveals itself in front of you, it’s easy to go blind to all the rest.
the beast/fire and steel
THEY TOOK her on the second day, as dusk fell.
We were prepared. We were. We were.
We were.
I’ve told myself that over and over again every day since.
We were.
I swear to god. On everything I have.
We were.
But not enough. It was never enough. It would never be enough.
Mom said, “I need to go to the house. Pick up some clothes. A uniform for work tomorrow.”
I said, “I’ll go with you.”
She said, “Stay here. It’s just down the road. You’re busy as it is.”
And I was. I was training. With Thomas. Joe. The others. Osmond watched me closely. I felt like I had something to prove to him. Knowing what I was. My position. Within the pack.
With Joe.
I said, “You can’t go alone.”
Osmond said, “I’ll send two of mine along with her.”
And I said, “Okay.”
Okay.
I said okay. Like it was nothing. Like it was absolutely nothing at all.
Elizabeth and Mark were inside. Carter and Kelly were clawing and slicing at each other to my right. Gordo was checking the wards around town. Osmond was watching us move back and forth, but his eyes kept coming to me. I was something he couldn’t figure out. He was cautious. Curious. Ever since the tone in my voice had caused his Betas to tremble.
We didn’t talk about it. Or, at least, I never heard him talk about it.
I was distracted.
I said, “Okay.”
“You need anything?” she asked me, like it was nothing. Like it was nothing.
I shook my head. Wiped the sweat from my brow. Feinted left when Joe came at me. Spun once. Knocked my fist into the back of his neck. Sent him stumbling.
I said, “Nah. I’m good.” Because I was. I was fine. I was okay. The unknown was coming toward us, a monster capable of horrendous things, but I was with my family. The sun was shining overhead. There were a few clouds in the sky. I could hear birds. Could smell the trees and grass. It was green. It was all so fucking green that even the violet edges of it were distant because we were pack. We were stronger than anything that could come at us, and if Richard Collins showed his face, it’d be the last thing he ever did. If Robert Livingstone came smelling of ozone and lightning, we would rip the magic from his skin and he would be nothing more. This was a promise. Because of Joe. Because of what he was. To his pack. To the people like Osmond. To me.
I was focused.
I didn’t ask the questions I should have.
Why Gordo’s father would be with Richard Collins.
What they wanted.
What they were after.
(Who the weakest link was. Who would be the easiest to take out first. Who could be torn away. Who was kind and beautiful and not deserving of such a fucking cowardly act, a monstrous thing that—)
Mom said, “I’ll be right back.”
And Joe came at me again.