Because this wasn’t his territory anymore.
Somehow, it’d become mine.
Robbie flexed his hand gently on my shoulder.
Joe’s eyes darted to Robbie again. To his face. Where he was touching me. Back to me.
He growled. A warning. This was a strange wolf he did not know touching me.
Everyone tensed.
Robbie snarled in response and, before I could stop him, vaulted over me, landing in front of the pack, crouched down and teeth bared at the others.
Carter and Kelly popped claws and fangs in response, crowding around Joe, waiting to see what Robbie would do. The others began to move behind, assuming tactical poses, ready to fight if need be, to protect their Alpha should the others come after me.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.
None of this was.
I wasn’t dreaming.
I wasn’t dreaming.
I said, “Enough.”
Robbie sagged.
As did Carter and Kelly.
They stepped back, away from Joe.
Gordo still hadn’t moved, either to attack or to defend.
Robbie looked sheepish, rubbing the back of his head as he stood. “I would do it again,” he muttered.
“I know,” I said. “But you don’t have to.”
He brushed against my shoulder as he resumed his place behind me.
I looked back at Joe. “You’re here.” Short. To the point.
“I am. We are.”
“Did you do what you set out to do?”
A brief hesitation. Then, “No.”
That… I didn’t know what to do with that. “Why not?”
“Things change.”
“So all of this was for nothing.”
“I wouldn’t say that. Look at you.”
“Look at me,” I echoed.
“Are we welcome?” he asked, and that was the most important question. Because an Alpha of the territory had to give his consent to another pack. It was how things worked.
But it shouldn’t have to be with him. With them.
“This is your home,” I said through gritted teeth. “You don’t have to ask that.”
“We do,” Joe said, the red in his eyes fading to their normal blue, bright and wide. “You know that as well as I do, Ox. Especially now that you’re… you.”
For the briefest of moments, I thought about saying no. No, you aren’t welcome here. No, we don’t need you. No, we don’t want to see you. Because you’ve been gone so long. You left us alone. You put others in front of us. You were selfish. And cruel. We needed you. I needed you. I fucking needed you and you left—
I said, “You’re welcome here. All of you.”
Everyone relaxed the smallest amounts.
Except for Joe and me.
“For how long?” Joe asked.
A crack in the wall. “As long as it takes for you to decide to run again.”
It was out before I could stop it.
The four of them looked as if I’d slapped them.
I should have felt better about that.
I didn’t.
“You can go to them,” I said.
And Elizabeth and Mark surged forward, brushing past me to get to their family. Gordo took a step back as Elizabeth grabbed her sons, holding them as close as she could, her arms barely able to reach across all three of them at the same time. She rubbed her face against each of their cheeks, wanting her scent on them and theirs on her. The Alpha in me bristled at the thought of my pack smelling like another, but I pushed it away. It wasn’t about that. Not for her.
Mark ran his hands over their shorn heads, mingling his scent on top of Elizabeth’s.
Carter and Kelly were crying as they clung to their mother.
Mark moved toward Gordo. Gordo didn’t move. They stood staring at each other, speaking a silent language I wasn’t a part of.
Joe still hadn’t looked away from me, even as his mother held him close.
I said, “Your rooms are still yours. I expect you’ll want to get some rest.”
And because I couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t take his proximity anymore, I walked away.
I CLOSED the door to the old house behind me and sagged against it, trying to breathe.
I hadn’t been in here in the longest time. The house was in my name. Robbie had moved into the main house a while ago, so this one usually sat empty. We kept it, though, in case it was needed. In case we’d needed more room. If the pack expanded. If people came seeking sanctuary.
If others came home.
Elizabeth and the rest of the pack took turns cleaning the house. Made sure it was aired out. While we usually shared responsibilities, this was one thing they wouldn’t let me do. They knew how I felt here. About this place.
Because even though it’d long since been scrubbed away, I knew my mother’s blood had soaked into the bones of the house.
She was everywhere here.
Most of her clothes had been donated after I’d given the okay.
But there was more to her than what she wore.
She was in every corner of this house.
There were soap bubbles on my ear.
She was nervous, because the Bennetts were coming over and they were so fancy.
She signed her name and dissolved her marriage.
She stood with me in the kitchen, asking why I was crying. I told her I couldn’t be crying, because I had to be a man now.
She pointed on a map, showing where my friend had moved, saying no one ever really stayed in Green Creek.
She was my pack. My first pack.
“Ah,” I said, trying to take in another breath. “Ah. Ah.”
I slid down to the floor, my back against the door.
I put my head on my knees.
From where I sat, I knew I could look up and see the spot where she’d died. Where she’d looked up at me with such steel in her eyes. She’d known she was going to go, and she went out on her own terms, giving me the smallest of chances to escape and howl for our pack.
The shadows lengthened as the day wore on.
I could feel the others. My pack. Their joy. Their confusion. Their sadness. Their anger.
I couldn’t feel Carter and Kelly like I used to. I didn’t feel tied to Gordo like I had once been. Even if he hadn’t been pack for most of the time I’d known about wolves, there’d always been something there between us, especially after he’d gifted me the work shirts when I’d turned fifteen.
Joe, though.
I could feel him.
Because he was an Alpha. More than I ever was.
This place, this territory, was rightfully his.
And since (if if if) he was back, it should be his again.
I should have felt relieved at that.
That the responsibility wasn’t mine alone to bear anymore.
And I did. Mostly.
But there was a part of me that said mine, mine, mine.
That this place, these houses, these people were mine.
I banged my head against the door, trying to clear my thoughts.
The shadows stretched farther.
And that’s when he approached.
Even before I heard him, I felt him.
I didn’t focus on the bond, the thread. I didn’t want to see how tattered it was between us, if it was even there at all. Something once growing stronger every day now in shreds.
I tried to keep my breaths even. My heart calm.
I tried to make him go away without even saying a word.