“So, I won’t see you.”
“No.”
She stopped again. “Were you going to tell me?”
“I was going to tell Robert.”
“I thought the sex part would be hard for me. I didn’t realize the intimacy would be so difficult.”
Tristan laughed. Then, when he saw the flash of hurt on her face, he worked hard to contain it. He understood what she was trying to say. They seemed to do things backward and upside down. He’d been briefed by the people who cared most about her, but he still didn’t know what had caused her to be the way she was. He had the means to find out, but he preferred for her to tell him. But he also realized he was afraid to know. He didn’t want to feel any more connected to her than he already did. It was way too much to think about for a protracted shag.
Instead, he sidled closer to her and slid his hands around her waist. He let the space remain between them, giving her the choice of closing the distance or adding more. She peered up at him, indecisive. And he got it. There were words left between them, words neither were ready to commit to. But kissing, the physical intimacies—those they’d mastered.
She stepped to him and relief swamped him. Anticipation built in his stomach as her hands slid up his chest to wrap around his neck. But when she lifted her chin and placed her lips against his, the onslaught of her heated kiss took over. He pulled her closer to him, fitting her body against his in the way it seemed to be made for. His tongue demanded entry, and when he sank into her mouth, it didn’t matter that this was temporary or that she didn’t want to share or that he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He absolutely wanted this, her. This he could focus on, so he didn’t have to contemplate how much he enjoyed her wit, how he loved the way she’d interacted with Annalise, how much he hated the thought of her being afraid of anything. When he touched her, it only had to be about this attraction and the way he felt when he was inside her.
He didn’t know how long they’d been kissing with the water lapping behind them. But when they came up for air, her lips were swollen and damp, and he wanted to dive right back in. Except there was curfew and a flight tomorrow and his responsibility to his teammates.
“I have to get back,” he said, regret heavy in his voice.
“Me too.” She smiled.
They turned around, lacing their fingers together again.
“Is Robert meeting you at the boardwalk?”
“Yes. And I have a phone now,” she said.
He looked over at her. “A phone with a number you know?”
A sheepish smile. “Yes.”
This time, Tristan stopped abruptly. He pulled out his phone and said, “What is it?”
She rattled off the number, and he added it.
“Don’t put my name,” she reminded.
He held out the contact information, so she could see it.
She laughed when she saw what he typed.
“Come on.”
“Can I see the picture of Annalise and me from earlier?”
He quickly scrolled through and held the phone up for her. Then, he swung around behind her, so he could see it too. It was kind of perfect really. With their unplanned matching yellow dresses and their warmhearted smiles.
“Is it okay if I have a picture of you on my phone? You seem a bit …” He paused. “Is paranoid too strong a word?”
“No, it’s not too strong; it’s pretty accurate. And, yeah, I think this picture is fine.”
“What about one of us? Right now? Something to get me through until you get to Colorado. Wait, are you coming to Colorado?”
She took a deep breath. “Yes, we are coming to Colorado. We have a couple of different plans, so I don’t know the details yet. And I’m not sure about the picture.”
Ele looked out at the water, having some internal debate. Then, she nodded but like it was to herself.
“One picture,” she said.
Tristan wrapped his arms around her waist and held the phone up above them. “Ready?”
She smiled. “Yes.”
Click.
15
3 July
Denver, Colorado
“Would you be terribly disappointed if I went to the game?” Jamie asked via FaceTime.
“Yes.” No! It was a complete relief.
She wasn’t as comfortable here, not quite settled in, and it made her jittery. Facing a new stadium, a different protocol was too much. But she didn’t want to worry Jamie.
“Sorry, love, but I don’t think I will be able to make another until the finals. I need to make an appearance. And frankly, I don’t think this will be the last game.”
“I know. Go. Have fun. Make notes for Robert.” As soon as she said it, she wanted to take it back.
“Make notes for Robert,” he repeated, his voice trailing off. Jamie knew her too well.
And when his eyes narrowed in accusation and the expression on his face registered his hurt, she couldn’t help but be sorry. He tugged on his right ear—his frustrated tell. The public probably didn’t know it because his face gave nothing away, but she knew.
“Ele.”
He didn’t need to say anything else. She knew.
“Honestly, I’ve been good. I haven’t had any episodes. I even went solo to a party last week.”
“I heard, and I was so proud. I didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but I wished I could have been there for your celebration.”
Ele smiled fondly, remembering their victory parties. The favors ranged from cupcakes to cava and anything in between. Mostly, it depended on what was handy. Although they’d been toasting her normalcy, it was a bit much to go too far out of the way. Applauding mediocrity was strange enough. Then, her mind jumped to the kisses she’d shared with Tristan on the beach. She liked Tristan’s version a tad bit better.
“I don’t think you would have wanted to be there for it this last time.”
Jamie flushed pink before covering his eyes. “Please, love, no visuals.”
Ele cackled wickedly. “Are you sure?”
“Quite.” Jamie grew quiet. “He makes you happy.” It was a statement, a declaration. Not a question.
Even through the flat of a screen, Jamie saw it. And Ele enjoyed it. She liked being the happy one, the one who walked into a room with a secret smile and an aura of joy.
There were smatterings of worry for her though. Her independent sensibilities railed against the startling fact that the introduction of one person into her sphere could completely settle her in a way she hadn’t experienced in such a long time. Because what would happen when said person disappeared? Or worse, what if something happened to him? She knew she had to find a way to achieve calm on her own. But she had struggled to do just that over the last decade but to no avail. She’d had moments since St. Peter’s when all the warning signs converged to form the perfect storm of panic, but she’d remember the feel of Tristan’s hands on her face and the instant when his warmth and strength had seeped into her. It was all it took to center her, to restore her equilibrium.
“Yes,” she finally said.
Jamie smiled. But it was public Jamie. So, Ele took the time to really look at her brother.