“Oh, easy. Brendan, our physio, knew I might have to duck out of the team meeting. When Jamie arrived, I left for the restroom.” He cleared his throat. “I might have downloaded some farting sounds and left my phone in the restroom in case anyone came looking for me.”
“Oh … my … gosh!” she sputtered between laughs.
“Right brilliant, huh?”
Ele laughed harder. It went on for a couple of heartbeats, and Tristan envisioned her, curled up in the corner of some couch, the phone to her ear, a smile wide on her face. What he would give to be with her in the same room—hell, the same country.
I’ve got it bad for this woman.
“When you scored that banger, didn’t anyone suspect you were lying?”
Tristan sat up higher in his chair. “Scored that banger? How did you know I’d scored that banger?” he imitated with her posh accent.
The silence from her side of the phone was deafening.
“E? Did we convert you into a football fan?”
She cleared her throat, and Tristan grinned. “There’s a Hartesfield United viewing club here. They rent out a pub not too far from where I’m staying. I stumbled upon it and have caught a few games.”
“A few, huh?”
If chagrined embarrassment had a sound, it was Ele’s huff. Knowing she watched his matches produced an unexpected high. He thought back to the summer and playing in front of her. He wouldn’t have said anything was missing when he returned to his club team this season, but at this moment, he knew why being on the pitch had been flat. And acknowledging it scared him. Football was everything to him. It was his constant, his home away from home, his life. Tristan wanted to blame Jamie for his what are you willing to give up speech, even as he knew he didn’t want to think about it right now. He also didn’t want to embarrass Ele unduly, so he decided to switch the subject.
“Tell me about where you are and what you’ve been doing.”
“I’m in Chicago.”
“Really?”
He couldn’t help it if his mind made connections between where she was and the time they’d spent together there. He was tempted to tease her again, but it was enough for him to know she was there even if she couldn’t or wouldn’t articulate why she’d chosen to go there of all places. He was sure her family owned a couple of islands, small countries, a planet or two. She could have escaped anywhere. But he knew, like he knew when to cross a ball, she was in Chicago because he’d made her comfortable there, kept her safe. He didn’t need her to say it even though he would love to hear it.
“Yes. And”—she paused, and Tristan leaned forward with earnest interest—“I’m getting help. Talking about everything is difficult. I usually leave my sessions and nap.” She chuckled, free and easy. “I have no idea what the results will be, but it’s a start.”
“Well done, Ele. I’m so proud of you.”
He needed to talk to her about the disaster at the palace, and although it appeared a perfect opening, he hesitated. But she didn’t.
“Tris, I am really sorry about what happened at the celebration. It was supposed to be a big night for the team, and I ruined it.”
“No, you didn’t ruin it. It was my fault. I was trying to draw the paps away from the room and you, but then you were there. And I couldn’t do a bloody thing to help you. I think Sheena and I made it worse.”
Even knowing Jamie’s complicity in the whole affair, Tristan should have protected her.
“It couldn’t have gotten much worse than me having a full-out panic attack. Trust me; there wasn’t anything you could have done to stop what happened. And perhaps it’s one of those blessings in disguise. I never would have left to get help if I hadn’t experienced that … that …”
“Shitshow?”
Ele snickered. “An adequate description.”
“It seems a steep price to pay.”
“Yes, but isn’t that the way of the world?”
“Are you getting philosophical on me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. All this introspection and evaluation is bleeding over.”
She heaved a great sigh, and Tristan tensed, knowing she was going to end the call. He wasn’t ready to let her go though, so he racked his brain for something important to say. Then, her last words echoed in his head, reminding him she talked important stuff all of the time. So, maybe something frivolous was in order.
“Have you gone back to Navy Pier?” he said into the silent space, pulling the conversation and her attention away from the looming good-bye.
“I haven’t. It doesn’t appear to be the best place to explore on your own.”
His simple question propelled them into a conversation about the best places she’d discovered in Chicago. From there, they discussed Ele’s favorite places in the world. As a child and adolescent, she had traveled extensively with her parents and Jamie. At the time, she explained, she hadn’t realized she wasn’t actually seeing the grit and glamour of all of the places she visited. Palaces, governing houses, and security-approved areas left much unexplored. But there was a sense of each country she could articulate. Her best memories of foreign places though had come from her experiences of working with the crown’s foundation for clean drinking water. Ele spoke with enthusiasm and intelligence about the well-digging expeditions of which she’d been a part.
“The counselor asked me if I could explain my fearlessness of traveling in third-world countries, and I couldn’t at first. But after a few days of sitting with the question, I was able to figure out that I wasn’t Princess Eleanor at that time. I was just another cog in the wheel of progress. And what does it say about my life that I am happiest when I am not the role that defines me?”
Tristan didn’t have any answers for her. But as the conversation continued on, he found himself even more enamored. Her astuteness was stunning, sometimes making him regret his lack of higher education. But even with it, he wasn’t sure he could match her natural smarts. And as sophisticated as she was, she held this simplistic view of the world. He thought it stemmed from growing up, knowing she would hold a place in history even if she wouldn’t directly make the decisions to shape it. If she saw a problem, her brain automatically reached for a solution because solutions to problems always existed for people with unlimited resources. Her inability to solve her own problem had been a constant source of stress.
“I should have been able to stop the panic attacks. Or, well, that’s what I thought. Admitting that I couldn’t made it worse somehow. Because, in all other aspects of my life, I’m strong, and to not have any control was almost worse than experiencing them.”
By the time Caleb rapped on his door, Tristan was jammed up against the wall, knees bent, his phone linked to a charger.
“T-Dav. Mate, you coming to dinner?”
He quickly muted the phone and yelled, “Be there in a minute.”
“Whatcha doing in there? Boys said you’ve been holed up in here all day. Find a good porn site, did you?”
Despite his annoyance at the interruption, he found himself snickering. “No, you dickhead. Go away.”
Tristan heard some yammering, guys shuffling through the hallway. But he listened for a moment, assuring himself Caleb had gone.