I didn’t get to finish the thought as he swept me up into his arms, pulling me until I straddled his lap. His arms were like iron around me, holding me hard against him, his face in my hair.
“My Shan…” he murmured, stroking my back to make me feel better, but even I could feel the shake in his hands. I drew back slightly, just enough that I could see it.
Would I have been able to get the same kind of pained expression from him if I stabbed him in the heart? I wondered. His hands smoothed my tears away almost frantically, but that left none to push away his own.
“I am so fucking sorry—”
I stopped him mid-declaration by putting my fingers to his lips. I didn't need them, the pack, getting between us right now. When the words died down and he went still, I rubbed my thumb across his lips, letting out a tiny little groan when they parted and sucked the tip in, feeling the hot, wet softness of his mouth.
Which was something I needed to taste with my tongue. My hands went to his hair, my mouth to his, and there it was. Along with harsh coffee and minty toothpaste was his need for me, his hunger, his…
Love. Say it, Shan. He loves you.
Fuuuck, that brought a tidal wave of fear rushing up, threatening to drown me beneath it, so Jai pulled back, regarding me with heavily lidded eyes.
“It’ll be OK, Shan. I promise. I won’t let it be otherwise.”
I just stared into his eyes, seeing that perfect certainty there, and wondered how he could feel that way. Was that what it was like to be a shifter? You just had instincts that ruled you rather than endless, endless thinking? But he knew what he was doing, even if he didn’t appear to be plagued by worries like I was. He lifted his fingers up so I could see them, then slid them down between us. He watched every tiny reaction as they arrowed toward my clit. His smile matched my gasp, and he drank in my reactions, the way my body fought his grip, wanting to pull away or push closer at the intensely slow way he worked his fingers. He seemed to need every little response—my lips falling open, the stiffening of my spine, the spread of my thighs, and then the traitorous gush from between them. I tried to jerk away, horrified by what my body was doing, but he held me still.
“Don’t, love. Stay. Give it to me.”
He laid me back down on the bed as his lips trailed down, and then his teeth gently closed around my nipple, pulling back a little until my whimpers grew louder, then licking and sucking the aching point to make it feel better before shifting to the other one. He kept teasing until I wriggled free, then he reared back, looking down at me, propped up on my elbows and panting. He grabbed his cock, giving the long shaft a few strokes, and my eyes followed his every move until he dragged my hips and me closer.
“Jai…” I yelped when he aimed his cock at me.
He paused, looking up at me.
“I’ll never take your choice away. I won’t make you my mate until you ask for it.” As if to illustrate his point, I felt the big broad head slide swiftly through my folds, brushing over the part that ached for more. It was there, on the tip of my tongue to ask for just that, but he didn’t see it, focussed on where our bodies met. He used it like a huge blunt finger, collecting slick and then rubbing my clit. “It’s just your slick…” His eyes rolled closed as he moved, coating himself with me as he worked me higher. “Someone told me about how it works, but, Shan, it feels like hot velvet, sensitising the head of my cock, making my balls ache. It’s like your lips, your mouth on my shaft.”
“You want that?”
His eyes flicked open, and he regarded me from behind slitted eyelids.
“More than I want my next breath, love.” I moved to roll into a seated position, but he pushed me back down. “But this first.” His eyes narrowed as he pushed his cock down, resting it right at the entrance to my cunt.
“Don’t move, baby,” he rasped. “I’ve got good control, but not if you move.” At first, it was almost as if he was teasing me, brushing the head against me, dipping in with the tiniest of thrusts. I instantly became conscious of the emptiness inside me, aching now for him. He said he could fill me, give me everything I needed and more besides, and my cunt twitched helplessly as I considered what that would feel like. Just the head was stretching me, and I let out a strangled little wail as he thrust in a bit further, making him freezing still.
“Good or not, love? You’ve got to keep communicating.”
“Mm hmm.” I nodded quickly, unable to unlock my jaw to say anything else. I was scared what would come out if he did. I dripped over him, that teasing little stroke driving me fucking mad, then his thumb moved up to graze my clit.
“Oh fuck!” I snapped.
He was building something huge inside me, the empty ache and the rapid flick of his thumb making my spine twist.
“Stay still, Shan!” he growled as he slipped a little further in.
Right now, I didn’t give a fuck. Every cell in my body screamed for completion, telling me the sweetest stories about what would happen if I just gave in. My g-spot throbbed in preparation of how it would feel within me when he swelled, locked tight and forcing it to push great waves of pleasure through my body.
“Fuck, you feel so tight and wet…” he rumbled, his head hanging down. “Your slick is coating me and making everything feel so fucking hot. God, I feel like I’m gonna burst.”
“Jai?” A cold slap of reality woke me from the fever that attacked my body.
“Can’t. Not like this, love. Not until I’m all the way inside you. You can bounce on my dick all you like, my knot won't just slide in.” His eyes opened, and he stared down at me. “You’ll have to work it into your tight little cunt, stretching yourself further and further, until pop!” I jumped at the word, and he just laughed. “You won’t be able to get away from me then, my sweet little rabbit. I’ll have you right where I want you. In my arms, coming with me, bound to me like I am to you. Mine, forever.”
As if to tease me with that idea, he pulled free of me and moved down my body, smiling as he looked up at me, ready to settle between my legs.
“No,” I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“Love, you're needing. I can feel it and smell it. I want to, need to look after you. It’s tugging at me, your scent is like a leash around my neck. I’ve resisted it until now to make you feel good, but I need you to come.”
“So it would be tortuous for me to deny you right now?” I wiggled free of him, placing a foot on his shoulder to push him away. He moved reluctantly.
“No more than it would be for you, love.” His eyes dropped down, burning as he looked at me. “Your pussy weeps for me. It needs my fingers and my tongue.”
It fucking did right now, but that didn’t mean I was going to let him. He watched me as I rolled into a seated position, frowning as he did the same. His eyes kept getting tugged down, so I put my hand under his chin and pushed up. That was…weird. It’d all been very focussed on me since we started stripping each other’s clothes off, but it’d been years since I’d been able to touch this body, and I was done waiting.
In some ways, I did what he did—ran my hands over him to rediscover this new, older Jai. Our love making had been understandably amateurish when we were kids, but now… I looked at everything he was offering me and resisted the urge to jump up and down on the bed and clap with glee. He was a bloody good-looking man. My hand trailed down that thick column of his throat, feeling his Adam’s apple bob as my thumb dragged over it, feeling the slabs of muscles in his shoulders, my hand tiny by comparison. His eyes followed mine as they slid down his chest, curling when they got to his sternum.