“Petrifying spells tend to add a few hundred pounds,” Bruce said. “We had to haul her in the back of my truck just to get her here.”
She again had the vague impression that someone touched her, this time patting her head.
Hello. I’m right here. Why is everyone talking around me?
They didn’t answer. Jennifer hated this. She felt as if she screamed through a fog.
Am I dead?
“Don’t ya listen to him, Jennifer,” Murdoch said. “Ya are lovely.”
No. No, that can’t be it. They’re not talking like I’m dead.
Hello? Rory? Rory, can you hear me?
“Stop looking at me like that, ma. I know you’re stupid rule about not petrifying each other, but I had to do something,” Maura said.
Petrify? Like fossilized wood or something? Is that what happened?
“She was going to stab Rory,” Maura continued.
“We were lucky to get there in time to stop her,” Bruce added. “Thanks to Maura’s quick thinking.”
Oh, crap. Did I try to kill Rory again?
Jennifer remembered being in bed with him, kissing him.
Hear me, Rory. Hear me. Connect with my mind.
Jennifer didn’t expect her mind-meld experiment to work, but hey, it was worth a try. She concentrated on projecting her thoughts to him.
Rory. Rory. Rory.
“What happened to your crocheted jumper monstrosity?” Rory asked.
“Och, don’t mention that devil’s garment! It might have looked good, but after a time, the breeze holes weren’t so breezy,” Raibeart said. “Yarn against the man-baubles is not an inspired idea. They’re meant to be flashed, not chafed.”
“Is that why you’re walking like ya just hopped off the back of a horse?” Euann teased.
“Green Vallis is a respectable place,” Cait insisted, “not a nudist colony. Naked runs in the forest are one thing, but ya cannot keep going into town without clothes.”
“I don’t know. I think some of the locals could use a little naked time,” Maura put forth wryly.
Laughter met her statement, but somehow, even without being able to see, Jennifer guessed Cait wasn’t one of those laughing.
“Just yesterday, we had this woman pretending to be interested in renting rooms by the hour,” Maura continued, “but it was more like she wanted me to admit we would do it. She kept winking at me. It was unsettling.”
“About this tall, short gray hair, and a pencil tucked behind her ear?” Euann asked.
“Yes,” Bruce answered. “That’s her.”
Callister. It’s Callister.
“Mrs. Callister,” Euann stated.
I knew it!
It was like she was a child, and Jennifer had to be quiet while the adults talked over her. She found it annoying.
“Mrs. Callister thinks she’s a journalist. She has a gossip blog and likes to make up lies about people,” Euann said. “I bet ya a hundred dollars she’s about to post a story about the prostitution ring you’re running out of the motel.”
“Ah, and I wanted that guest services’ feature to be a surprise,” Maura pouted.
A choking noise sounded.
“Ma, that was a joke,” Maura said.
“Ya were not blessed with humor,” Cait stated.
“Raibeart, why don’t ya take one for the town and go ask that Mrs. Callister if she’ll marry ya,” Rory asked. “Keep her busy and off the internet. Jennifer said she’s been posting lies about them as well, implying they take men to the back room during their shifts.”
“That’s one woman I don’t want saying aye to my proposal,” Raibeart answered. “If that is who my friend Fate had in mind, I’ll throw that miserable fish back into the ocean.”
“What is her obsession with prostitution?” Euann wondered aloud.
“What are ya grumbling about?” Rory asked. “She has a crush on ya, and only writes nice flowery poetry about her sweet Euann. What did she call ya? A breath of fresh Scottish air? A kilted example of masculinity?”
“Not since I married Cora,” Euann said. “Now, I might be a pickpocket.”
Hey, guys, anyone want to tell me how long I’m going to be stuck like this?
Jennifer hated this. All she had was her blurry vision and the sound of their voices moving around her.
“Ya should let me fix that haircut while we’re waiting,” Cait said. “Ya look like your sister hacked ya with a chainsaw.”
“Stop fussing. It’s fine, Ma,” Rory dismissed. “I don’t care about my hair. We need to focus on breaking Jennifer’s enchantment the second this petrifying spell wears off.”
“He’s right, Ma,” Bruce said. “We can all see she loves Rory.”
“Aye,” Maura agreed. “Until the enchantment takes over. Then she wants to kill him.”
“Some would say that’s how true love works,” Murdoch joked.
That’s not fair. I didn’t say that yet. I mean, yes, sure, I have feelings for him. Yes, I probably do love him, which kind of scares me. And he did tell his siblings he loved me, but we haven’t had that talk. It’s not a talk I want to include his poisonous mother on. Rory and I are still getting to know each other. We’re still in the fun sex phase of things. I mean, have ya see Rory naked? It’s a little hard to think of anything else.
“Oh, aye, lassie, I have seen Rory naked,” Raibeart said. She felt another pat on her shoulder. “He is an unfortunate looking lad, but ya have a good heart to love him like ya do.”
Wait. What? Did you hear that, Raibeart?
“Of course I heard that,” Raibeart answered.
“Heard what?” Rory asked. “Who’s unfortunate looking?”
“Raibeart?” Cait insisted.
What’s happening to me? Jennifer thought.
“I’m talking to Jennifer,” Raibeart said. “Someone should. Ya have all been ignoring her.”
“Ya can hear her?” Rory asked. “What’s she saying? Is she angry? Is she in pain? Is she scared?”
“Ya can’t hear her?” Raibeart asked.
“What’s she saying?” Rory insisted.
“She’s thinking of your naked arse,” Raibeart answered.
I didn’t say that!
“She says mine is better,” Raibeart continued. “And she says she’s been seriously considering my marriage proposal.”
What? No, I—
“He can’t hear her,” Rory dismissed. “She would never say that.”
Raibeart, tell them you can hear me!
“I can hear her,” Raibeart said, “and she has a thing for me, as all the ladies do. Obviously, we’re connected.”
No, tell them you can hear me for real.
“For real,” Raibeart added.
“Do ya need to be here?” Rory asked his uncle. “This is serious.”
No, don’t go. I’m scared. Tell Rory I’m afraid. How long will I be like this?
“Laddie can’t take a joke,” Raibeart said, and she felt that he’d leaned closer to her.
Tell—
“Oh, aye, Jenny, I’ll tell them. I can hear her. She’s in love with ya, but she’s confused like most bog wenches. I think it’s all that time they spend suspended in the muck. Unlucky lot. Tend to go mad. Touched in the head, but it can’t be helped.” Raibeart chuckled. “She doesn’t care for ya much, Cait.”