“Home is a great deal smaller, of course,” Isabelle added, the laugh still in her tone. “And with infinitely fewer books.” Her voice took on a wistful quality. “But it’s cozy like this.”
I felt a swell of fellow feeling. The library had always reminded me of home as well, although for different reasons. It was strangely reassuring to know that some trainees in Kallorway missed their families, just as I did. Not everyone had parents like King Cassius and Queen Endellion.
“I hope I can visit the north coast one day,” I said. “I haven’t had the chance to see much of Kallorway yet.”
A fleeting look of discomfort crossed Isabelle’s face before she spoke in a more stilted voice than she’d used before. “My family would be happy to host you if you ever want to visit, of course.”
I thanked her, wishing I could take back my words. I had meant them in a friendly way, but it sounded like Isabelle—or perhaps her family—had no interest in royal visitors from the world of courts and politics. And could I really blame them?
I steered the conversation to wind working, and her previous ease soon returned. After that, we often stopped for a short chat when we crossed paths in the library, and I sometimes asked her questions about power compositions that occurred to me during my study.
But as helpful as I found the research, it was still secondary to actual experience. Each time Alvin had the trainees complete a practical exercise, I chose one of my year mates to practice on. I tried to rotate around equally between them, although given I couldn’t use Bryony, Tyron, Jareth, or Darius, that only left seven options.
Now I was learning how to craft a composition for myself, I got better at noticing flaws in their workings. Where possible, I tried to leave the flaws there—or even exaggerate them, if it was safe to do so. I couldn’t bear the idea that even Royce might leave the Academy having failed to learn some basic and essential lesson because of my interference.
I caught Jareth watching me with a questioning, almost calculating look at times, and when he finally cornered me after the evening meal one day, I discovered why. I would have liked to be curt in response, but Darius lingered behind him, and his presence made me consider my words more carefully. It was clear that while Darius hadn’t asked directly, both princes were interested in the progress of my secret ability.
It might have been easier to lie outright, but with Darius standing there, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead I drew on all of my court training to return an answer vague enough to be true but which left them with the impression that I no longer trained with Bryony not because I had outgrown her, but because there was no further way to develop such a limited ability. As far as they knew, my ability was restricted to redirecting energy being given or taken through an energy composition toward myself.
To my relief, Jareth seemed to accept my answer. And after he left, it occurred to me that his understanding of my ability would be enough to explain my effective defense against the energy mage during the attack in the village. Maybe I hadn’t tipped my hand as much as I thought.
I spent the first week of classes with a constant minor tension at the back of my mind as I waited to hear my family’s response to the attack. And when Captain Layna reappeared at the Academy, my heart sank all the way into my boots.
But when she announced she’d come alone, my horror turned to confusion. I couldn’t imagine my family sending anything less than a platoon to guard me through two days on the open road, given the circumstances.
“Don’t worry,” she said, with a knowing grin. “I haven’t been sent to haul you away. From what I hear, Queen Lucienne managed to talk your parents down on that topic. Instead I’ve been sent to assist Captain Vincent in his investigations.”
I raised an eyebrow. “And how do Captain Vincent and Duke Francis feel about that?”
The Academy Head was famously neutral, and I wasn’t sure how either the king or General Haddon would feel about an Ardannian captain nosing around in Kallorway.
“Well, since it was Captain Vincent himself who suggested the attackers might have come from Ardann, he can hardly complain now about my being sent to assist,” she said triumphantly.
I chuckled. “That does sound like my aunt. So you’ll be here at the Academy, then?” I brightened at the idea of having another familiar, trusted face around.
“I’ll be stationed here,” she said. “But I’ll be bunking in the guards’ barracks, and I expect I won’t actually be here that often. Given how tight a ship Captain Vincent runs, this is the least likely location to find any hint of your attackers.”
I held back a wince, wishing I could believe that as easily as she did. But then I doubted Captain Vincent would be investigating his two primary charges.
“I’m glad to have you here, anyway,” I said. “You’ll report anything you find to me as well as back to my aunt?”
Captain Layna nodded. “Those were the queen’s instructions.”
I smiled, touched again by the faith my aunt continued to place in me. The smile fell away when Layna left my suite, however. Every day that I developed my ability in secret, telling no one but Bryony about my efforts, was a betrayal of that trust. And every time Darius looked at me with closed, cold eyes, it got harder and harder to believe the flower had come from him, or to remember why I was keeping my ability secret from my own family.
Only two things stopped me from doubting my decision. One was Bryony, the friend whose loyalty never wavered. I had been so worried about my aunt sending me to use my ability against Kallorway, but over the summer she had said it was the Sekali Empire where trouble was brewing. Bryony was Sekali, as was her family, and it didn’t matter what my aunt commanded, I would never be able to see her as the enemy.
The other person who stopped me was Darius himself. Not because of the lingering feelings for him that still bubbled beneath the surface, no matter how I tried to suppress them, but precisely because of the closed expression on his face. I had seen behind that illusion and seen something that burned him so badly he could barely contain it. Darius had grown up as the tool of a king, and I had seen what he had been shaped into. He had no freedom to be himself or even to reveal a hint of his true emotions, and he trusted almost no one, living his life without friends and almost without family. I couldn’t bear to risk the same thing happening to me. Not for any king, queen, or emperor.
That night was the first night I glanced at the tapestry on my wall and remembered that the previous year, Darius had shielded it with a composition crafted to allow me access.
But I had changed the compositions guarding my doors over the summer, and he might easily have done the same. My courage failed me, and I didn’t test it either then, or on the many nights afterward when I stared at the woven feature and wondered what exactly was driving Darius to hide the person I knew existed under all those layers.
Chapter 10
The weeks wore on, and the weather grew colder. I gave up waiting in daily expectation to hear of progress in Layna’s investigations. But though she hadn’t discovered my attacker, neither did she return to Ardann. I began to suspect that my parents had only capitulated and agreed to leave me in Kallorway if my aunt found a way to send my personal guard to watch over me.