She was not going to cry about this. She was not.
Of course those friends weren’t just old Army buddies. Of course Lucas wasn’t working on a fruit farm in Mexico half the year. Of course he was still serving and sacrificing and . . . and . . .
“Did you mean what you said out there?”
. . . and he’d followed her inside?
Hot tears pooled in her eyes. Did she mean what? Couldn’t he see she was about to lose it? All because she could still feel the way he’d trembled when he’d told her about that boy who’d died and hear the raw pain in his voice. Because she’d just found out one of her best friends was some kind of international hero, only no one knew.
But he’d told her. Why had he told her?
He was standing in front of her now. “Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?” She could barely make out the angles of his face in the shadowy stillness.
“That I’m one of the most honorable men you know. Even after everything I just told you, is there any chance you still . . .”
She felt a tear escape, the mere inches between them charged with something warmer than that fireplace outside could’ve ever hoped to kindle. “How could I not, you—”
Idiot. That’s what she’d been about to say.
But he’d closed the last useless sliver of space between them so quickly she couldn’t form the word. And when he took her face in his hands, just as she’d done outside, she couldn’t form a thought. Not a single thought save one.
If he doesn’t kiss me right now . . .
He kissed her right then.
So softly at first she was worried she’d imagined it. But as his fingers moved to her hair and his other hand drifted down her arm, as he gently moved her backward until only the wall behind her and his hand on her waist held her up, her fears were laid to rest.
This was no moment of make-believe. Lucas Danby was kissing her.
And it was . . . a hundred kinds of perfect. So perfect there was nothing else to do but lean in to him and kiss him back and marvel at the sheer rightness of it all. She slipped her arms around him, breathtakingly certain this was a moment she’d been waiting for her whole life.
She just hadn’t known it. Hadn’t known it was Lucas who could calm every restless voice inside of her even as his touch, his thrilling closeness sent shivers through her.
“Jessa?”
Not until Lucas broke away did the tiny voice from behind register. And even then, as Violet said her name again, she could barely hear her over the thumping of her heart.
She looked up at Lucas, but it was too dark to make out his expression. Yet she could hear his shaky breath as he backed away and gave her room to slip past him.
What had just happened?
And why oh why did Vi have to pick just that moment to come downstairs?
13
“What’s the emergency?”
At the sound of Mara’s frantic voice out in the newsroom, Jenessa shifted Cade’s sleeping form against her chest. Sometime in the past week, her office had begun to resemble a nursery. Portable crib in one corner, toys strewn about the floor, extra diapers in a basket on the windowsill.
But the rolling chair at her desk was not made for rocking a baby to sleep. Her back ached from her angled posture and Cade’s warm weight had her nearly sweating. The logical move would’ve been to tug off her cardigan before he’d nodded off.
But she had no logic today. No focus. No hope of getting a single paragraph written let alone a whole article.
Not after last night. Lucas had kissed her. And at some point, she’d gotten over her complete shock and utter awe long enough to kiss him back.
Except no, she wasn’t even close to over the surprise of it. Or the absolute perfection. Ten hours later and she could still feel its molten impact. It was as if every sense, every other thought in her mind and her heart, had melted down to one, heady, emotion-filled notion: Lucas.
But then Violet had come downstairs and responsibility had ripped her away. By the time she’d gotten Violet tucked in a second time, Lucas had disappeared, though he’d apparently had the presence of mind to douse the flames in the fireplace before returning to the cottage.
And she’d spent the remainder of her restless night swaying back and forth between reliving every millisecond of those moments in the kitchen and wondering whether Lucas was doing the same. Worrying that he regretted it.
Wishing she had the nerve to march out into the cottage in the middle of the night and demand to know what was happening between them.
But she knew Lucas. It couldn’t have been easy for him to talk about his past the way he had last night. He might need space, time to process.
So she’d settled instead for starting a dozen texts to him . . . and deleting all of them. Until finally, in desperation, she’d sent Mara an SOS ten minutes ago.
Mara, I need you. Are you free? I’m at the office. It’s an EMERGENCY.
Her friend appeared in her office door now, and Jenessa had to swallow her gasp to keep from waking Cade. “Are you wearing a wedding dress?” She whispered the question.
“Yes. You know why? Because there I was standing in front of a full-length mirror at Betty’s Bridal and my phone dinged and I looked down and the first thing I saw was ‘emergency’ in all-caps.” Mara hissed her exasperation. “What was I supposed to do?”
“Not steal a wedding gown.”
“I didn’t steal it. Betty saw my face go white and told me to go. I thought something had happened with one of the kids. But no, here you are looking easy as you please, cuddling a sleeping baby.”
Jenessa rose and gently laid Cade in the portable crib. “I only look like I’m at ease. Inside I’m freaking out. Completely, totally, and—” She turned back to Mara, gaze sweeping over the ivory gown with its pearl beading, lace elbow-length sleeves, and simple but elegant lines. She took hold of Mara’s hand and towed her from the office into the newsroom. “Is this the one?”
Everything in Mara seemed to soften—her eyes, her smile, her voice. “I think it is.”
“It’s . . .” Jenessa walked a circle around Mara.
“Beautiful,” Paige filled in. She rose from her desk in the corner of the office. “I love how understated it is. Not really a tulle girl myself.” She slung a camera bag over her shoulder and pointed her attention to Jenessa. “I assumed you’d want me at the county supervisors meeting considering you’ve got Cade here.”
Again. Surely that was the unspoken ending to Paige’s sentence. It had to be getting old to her—Jenessa’s off-and-on presence at the office, baby in tow more often than not. If not for Paige, there was no chance this week’s issue of the News would’ve come out on schedule today.
At some point, Jenessa had to figure out a better way to balance her responsibilities at the newspaper with her role as a temporary guardian. But Carmen’s visit yesterday had driven home even more than before the real and harsh reality that the kids wouldn’t be with her long-term. The thought of sending Cade to daycare or staying at the office when Colie and Violet were home from school felt like such a loss considering their short time together.
Or maybe it won’t be that short. Maybe Dustin Hollis won’t turn up. Maybe . . .