The potions expert turned at the door to the back and gave Sophia a knowing expression. “Bring me the thistle from Penicuik Hill, picked by two bonded by marriage. Only then will I be able to create the potion you need. If you don’t, then your fairy godmother college will hang in the balance, sure to be destroyed.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Sophia had so many questions for the potions expert, but question time was over. The woman disappeared before explaining how to find the thistle or how it was different than the others or anything else.
Sophia slumped in the doorway of the Rose Apothecary while thinking of a married couple who would be willing to drop everything for an expedition of this type. There were only a few options, and they weren’t promising. Sophia chose her top option and set off down Roya Lane, hoping to make quick work of this mission, but realized straight away that her companions would undoubtedly make this a long and arduous task no matter what. They would be the challenge.
Sophia ducked as soon as she entered the Crying Cat Bakery. A meat cleaver soared over her head and stuck into the wall behind her, narrowly missing taking her hair off. After checking that it was safe, Sophia searched the front of the bakery.
Lee the baker assassin stood with her hands on her hips and back to Sophia, to one side of the entrance. Cat was on the other side of the counter with a pinched expression and her face as red as her hair.
“Your aim is about as good as your cooking,” Lee fired at her wife defiantly.
“I wasn’t aiming for you,” Cat replied bitterly. “I wanted to see if you could move. It appears that your lazy butt can when you’re motivated.”
Cat picked up another knife and held it like a dart she was about to throw at a target.
Sensing that things were escalating fast, Sophia stepped forward and held her hands out in a nonconfrontational manner. “Hey, maybe we all take a break for a second to calm down.”
“Why would I do that?” Cat indicated Lee. “Then I might forget what this one said about me.”
Lee sighed. “I said I need to fix that pane of glass.” She nodded at the cracked display window.
“You said I’m a real pain in the—”
“What happened to the glass?” Sophia interrupted the fuming baker, who only seemed to get angrier as she spoke.
“Yeah, what happened to it?” Lee asked her wife, accusation heavy in her tone.
“I don’t know,” Cat replied dismissively. “I bumped into it or something.”
Lee glanced at Sophia sideways. “With her head. Unsurprisingly, the glass broke but not her skull.”
“Wow, that must have hurt,” Sophia related.
Cat shrugged. “Probably did. Don’t remember it.”
“A bottle of whisky will do that for you,” Lee added.
“This might be a bad time,” Sophia began. “But I hoped that you two could help me out with a mission. I need a married couple to go with me to pick a thistle.”
“We can’t,” Lee stated at once.
“I know that you’re busy and all,” Sophia argued at once, trying to sound convincing. “I assure you that I’ll make it as fast as possible. It should be pretty easy, and it’s for a really good cause.”
“Regardless, we can’t,” Lee stated. “I have a job to do, and Cat has to work on her behavior so that when I return, I don’t want to kill her as well.” She glared at her wife. “Your goal in life should be to make it so I don’t want to murder you.”
Cat batted her eyelashes at her. “It was in our vows wasn’t it?”
Lee nodded. “Yes, to love and to cherish, ‘til death do us part, or until we murder each other, which we are going to really try not to do.”
Cat softened slightly. “Oh, Lee, I’m sorry that I’ve nagged you so much lately. I know that you’re working hard to kill all the people while also helping me run the bakery.”
Lee smiled at her. “Thanks. It’s nice to be appreciated. The jobs lately are especially difficult because the targets are incredibly hard to kill.”
Sophia rolled her eyes. “Seriously, I’m going to have to report you if you talk about this assassin business so openly.”
“Does it make a difference that the targets have mostly been hipsters lately?” Lee asked.
Sophia shrugged. “Sort of. At least tell me that they’re bad people.”
“They’re the kind of people who cheat on their taxes,” Lee stated.
“I’m not sure that warrants death,” Sophia muttered.
“And still use typewriters,” Lee continued.
“Still don’t think that’s enough,” Sophia imparted.
“Oh, and they’re Instagram influencers,” Lee added.
Sophia’s eyes widened. “Take them out. All of them.”
Lee nodded. “Then there’s the whole thing about breaking laws, harming the environment, and stealing.”
Sophia shrugged. “I guess that’s a good reason too.”
“Anyway, business is booming lately,” Lee explained. “I’d normally help you out, but my schedule won’t allow it.”
“And I’m sort of sober,” Cat stated. “I need to do something about that post-haste. It’s almost mid-afternoon.”
Lee nodded. “You take care of that. I’ll go take out a hipster. Then we’ll finish this fight later when your reflexes have slowed down.”
“Sounds good,” Cat sang and headed for the back.
Sophia deflated upon realizing that she would have to rely on her second, less best option. It was pretty sad if she had considered going on this mission with Cat and Lee over the other couple.
Resigning to her fate, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed. After a moment, the person on the other side answered.
“Hey.” Sophia sounded defeated. “Yeah, I need your help with something. Can you meet me on Roya Lane?”
She rolled her eyes as the person pretended to think about it. “I’ll owe you one for this,” Sophia continued and paused to wait for the reply. She gritted her teeth.
“Yes, fine. I’ll say it,” Sophia mumbled. “Get here already. Would you?”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“You need me,” Evan sang when Sophia joined him outside the Fantastical Armory.
She sighed, realizing this would be a painfully irritating experience. “The fairy godmother college needs your help. Without it, the whole place could be destroyed.”
Evan pursed his lips and nodded. “Sounds like I’m pretty important and once again, going to swoop in and save the day with my bravery, intellect, and all-around awesomeness.”
“I only need you to pick a flower, and only chose you because of your relationship status,” Sophia explained.
“Relationship status?” Evan questioned. “I have myself marked as ‘it’s complicated’ on social media.”
She nodded. “You would. You’re totally the type to do that kind of thing.”
“I’m married to a woman who I never see,” Evan argued. “Speaking of which, I need to annul that mess so I can get my life back to normal.”