The Russian shook his head. “You do know what funny means, right?”
She nodded, feeling giddy from the vodka. “Okay, here’s another one. If pronouncing my b’s and v’s makes you sound Russian, well, soviet.”
Boris pointed across the bridge. “Is there any more of that vodka left? I could use it.”
Sophia glanced over her shoulder. “I don’t think so. You want to go check, and I’ll mind your post?”
He shook his head. “You make me laugh, or you don’t cross. That’s the rule.”
“How many have crossed?” Sophia asked.
“None in my lifetime,” he replied.
“Awesome,” she said through a big yawn. “I love my job.”
If none had crossed, then Sophia wondered how the Rogue Riders had gotten their soul stones for the barrier.
There’s always more than one way up a mountain, Lunis supplied.
Literally and figuratively in this case, Sophia stated with a dry laugh.
Ha-ha, the blue dragon said with zero inflection.
Maybe I should turn around and find the path that they used, Sophia offered. I think I’d rather have to fight a huge and dangerous monster than have to make a Russian laugh.
I think you’ve already come this far and out drank the gnome, Lunis suggested. Just give me a minute and I’ll find the right joke to have this guy rolling from laughter.
Sophia paused, waiting to learn the next joke from Lunis.
Do they all have to be Russian jokes? she asked him.
Yes, he stated. They are prideful people, and if anything, they want to laugh at themselves.
Sophia nodded, cleared her throat, and prepared to tell Boris the joke. “Okay, did you know in Soviet Russia, bullets dodge you?”
Boris simply shook his head.
“You know in Soviet Russia, computer reboots you,” Sophia tried again.
Boris crossed his arms in front of his chest, his face stone.
I need better jokes, Sophia urged Lunis.
These are gold, he complained. Try this one.
Sophia shook her head after listening. That’s awful.
Do it, he encouraged.
“Okay, I think that Russian Roulette is easy,” she said to Boris.
“Why is that?” he asked.
“Because I don’t know anyone who has lost,” she stated.
He lowered his chin and gave her an impatient glare.
So maybe I don’t need the soul stones, she said to Lunis.
You need them. We’re going traditional.
What does that mean?
Repeat after me, and do everything I say.
“Knock, knock.” Sophia took a step forward so she was close to Boris.
“Who is there?” He apparently knew how this joke went.
“The KGB,” Sophia replied.
“The KGB wh—”
Sophia slapped Boris in the face, interrupting him. “We will ask the questions around here.”
Boris’ face went slack. His eyes widened. Sophia thought he would murder her right there on the spot, and due to the alcohol, he might be able to. It was the vodka that had made her bold enough to slap a stranger, all for a joke. However, to her utter astonishment, his face transformed and he opened his mouth, laughing loudly.
“A good old KGB joke,” he said through a booming laugh that echoed for miles. “That always gets me. And paired with a classic knock, knock. You are very clever.” Still laughing, Boris stepped to the side and cleared the path. “You may pass. Virgo Cave is straight up.”
Sophia strode past Boris before he could change his mind, thinking that she’d never had such a strange mission in all her time with the Dragon Elite.
Chapter One Hundred Eighteen
The hike up to Virgo Cave wasn’t as tough as Sophia expected, or maybe the vodka erased the pain by numbing her muscles. Still, it didn’t take long to reach the cave mouth, which was dark upon her first step inside.
Sophia lifted her palm and immediately created a light orb to illuminate her path. She’d never been in a mining cave but expected that it would be full of rich crystals or other minerals all ready to be gathered. What she found was more like a barren field after a total harvest.
It appeared that the Rogue Riders’ leader had taken every single one of the soul stones and left behind nothing for Sophia.
She nearly fell to her knees because she was exhausted from the drinking game and the hike and defeated from this recent development.
I came all this way, and there are no soul stones left, she said to Lunis. How are we going to get past the barrier?
By not giving up, he encouraged.
But there are no soul stones left, Sophia complained, starting to feel emotional from all the recent challenges. The liquor made it worse. She held up her light orb and flashed it over the stone walls, searching for a single sparkle leftover from a soul stone. There was nothing.
Soph, Lunis began in a thoughtful voice. Remember when you ate an entire carton of chocolate revel ice cream?
I don’t see the relevance in bringing up my bad habits right now, she muttered, totally irked on every level.
It’s relevant.
Yeah, I guess I recall the experience a time or two, she replied.
And even when you’ve cleared the huge tub of ice cream in one sitting—
Okay, I’m back to not getting the thought behind this example, she interrupted.
My point, Lunis continued, is that even when you’ve cleaned out all the ice cream, no matter how much you tried, how much you’ve licked the side of the carton or—
Are you trying to help here?
I am, he replied. The point is that there’s always, despite your efforts, a little something left in the seams of the carton. You can’t get it all, as much as you might try.
Sophia looked up, strangely encouraged by the example. “The seams!”
Exactly, Lunis said proudly. You’re very welcome.
She rolled her eyes. I don’t think you had to take so many punches at my ego in the process. Any other example would have worked. Or you could have straight out told me your idea.
I liked this approach better.
Sophia knelt and hurried over to the closest cave wall on her hands and knees, then dug through the dirt, sifting through it for anything that was sparkly purple. The soil was black, and so far all she’d unearthed were bits of brown or gray rock.
Once at the wall, she continued to dig around and look for any remnants that stood out at her.
Her spirits had lifted at Lunis’ notion about the trace soul stones left behind but quickly plummeted when she didn’t find anything. Sophia didn’t know what she would do if she didn’t find the soul stones she needed. When she was at the Great Library, she’d considered breaking the one soul stone she had into pieces and giving it to the other Dragon Elite members, but Paul had explained that would make them all ineffective.
Sophia knew that one member of the Dragon Elite couldn’t enter the Rogue Riders’ headquarters alone. It had to be all of them. That was the only way that challenging them and hopefully having a winning chance would work.
Her mind combed through all the potentials as her fingers grazed something soft and also hard at the same time—like glass. Sophia paused, then dug into the dirt and pulled up something that stuck out like a sore thumb in the mostly dull and gray cave. It was a simple oval stone that shone purple in the small space.