“Obviously. But don’t you see? Locking myself away is perfect. I don’t have to lose face when it comes to Mum. She’s always hated the idea of me going away for Christmas, by the way. And while I might not be surrounded by sun, sea, and sand, I’ll get the peace and quiet I’ve been looking forward to. The headspace to think.”
I saw myself lounging about the house like some lady of leisure, reading book after book, with no one but myself to please. I saw myself penning ideas for a novel while wearing my maxi navy-blue boat neck dress. I could eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner if I wanted to. For the first time since learning my holiday had been cancelled, I began to look forward to Christmas again. I grinned. “It’s gonna be great.”
There was a knock at the door. Ding Dong Merrily on High suddenly rang out as carol singers gave it their all.
I smiled. “It’s a sign,” I said, glancing through to the hall. “That I’m doing the right thing.”
Fin shook his head, his accompanying laugh making it clear he thought I was mad.
13
Five Days until Christmas
Thank goodness for twenty-four hour supermarkets, I thought as I stood at the bottom of the stairs putting on my coat. I didn’t usually go shopping at close to midnight, especially after a hard day’s work and another shift the following morning, but having decided to lock myself away for Christmas I thought it safer. The last thing I wanted was to be spotted doing a festive food spree and word getting back to Mum and Dad. As far as they and the rest of the world were concerned, I was still going on holiday.
I grabbed my bag and shopping list, stuffing the latter into my pocket. I’d scoured the internet for the odd Caribbean meal to make during my staycation, intent on photographing the dishes to prove to Mum and Dad I was eating well during my alleged trip. Fin still thought I was barmy for even considering spending Christmas on my own. Plus, I got the impression he thought I’d neither cope nor pull it off. I giggled. “Oh, ye of little faith.”
The front door opened and Fin appeared from outside. He wore a hoodie under a thick jacket and a pair of woolly gloves. I looked from him to the living room, confused. I hadn’t seen him leave. “Where have you been?” I asked.
“Getting the car ready? Are we all set?”
I frowned at the word we. “You can’t come with me,” I said.
“Why not?”
My mind raced as I tried to come up with an excuse. I couldn’t tell him he had to stay home because I stood no chance of remaining inconspicuous with the star of the biggest UK TV cookery show pushing my trolley. Every wannabee chef or fangirl housewife in the store would recognise him and both our secrets would be out. I had to say no for his sake as much as mine. “Because I’ll be quicker if I go on my own,” I said. Cringing at the feebleness of that statement, it was the best I could come up with.
“Have you even cooked Caribbean food before?” Fin asked.
“No, but I have recipes and I’ve written down everything I need.” I pulled out my shopping list to show him. “See.”
“I’m impressed,” he said. “Although I’d have happily helped with this. All you had to do was ask.” He scanned the piece of paper. “Do you even know how to check if a pineapple is fresh or not?”
Whether I did or didn’t, he still wasn’t coming with me. “It doesn’t really matter as long as it looks the part. I’m only making one or two dishes to throw Mum and Dad off the scent. I’ll be enjoying my usual diet most of the time.”
“Well what about a Brussels sprout. Do you…?”
“Yes!”
“Come on, Holly. You might not want my help, but I can at least keep you company on the drive. It’s the middle of the night; what if someone tries to carjack you?”
I laughed. As excuses went, that one was as bad as mine. “I don’t know where you’ve been living for the past few years.” I did, of course. According to his book blurb, he’d been in the US. “But this is the Yorkshire Dales and I assure you, we’ve yet to have our first car theft at gunpoint.”
He looked at me like I was a miserable parent out to spoil her child’s fun. “Please?” he said, through puppy-dog eyes.
“All right,” I said, my resolve crumbling. “You can come with me. But we’re straight in and straight out.”
Fin appeared satisfied but I was less than happy. It wasn’t just his presence that bothered me; it was all the cakes and bakes I planned on treating myself to, all the less-than healthy options that Fin was bound to raise an eyebrow at. “And no judging,” I said. “It is Christmas.”
He laughed in response as we headed outside.
True to his word, the car engine was running and the windscreen de-iced. I shivered as I locked up behind us and headed for the vehicle. But I was forced to pause before climbing in because Fin was staring up at the heavens.
“Stunning,” he said, taking in the thick blanket of stars.
I recalled the blurb on the back of his book again which detailed his time in Hollywood. Having also read somewhere that Los Angeles was prone to smog, I thought it no wonder the man was mesmerised. I followed his gaze and recognising Alnitak, Alnilam, and Mintaka, the three stars that make up Orion’s belt, I acknowledged its wonder. Although having never experienced anything other than a bright, glittering night sky, I had to admit I didn’t pay it much attention as a rule. Constellations were just something I’d learnt in school. “Time to go,” I said.
In spite of the ungodly hour, Fin was clearly pleased to be getting out and about as he climbed into the passenger seat and I appreciated why. He must have been going a bit stir-crazy stuck in the house. The only place I’d known him to go since landing was the village shop and while probably not the same as visiting a Farmer’s Market or organic food fair, for a foodie like him a trip to the supermarket had to have felt like the next best thing.
As I pulled away to begin our journey, I was dying to ask Fin about his job. I might never have watched it, but being a part of the biggest UK cookery show must have been an exciting experience for him. I bit my lip, knowing I couldn’t. Not least because the longer I’d left telling him about the true nature of Annie’s thank-you gift, the harder it had become to mention. Plus, I knew if Fin had wanted me to know about the more dazzling side of his career, he would have told me. In fact, thinking about it, Fin hadn’t said much about anything.
I wondered why he wasn’t in a relationship as Fin hadn’t talked about one of those either. From what I’d seen of him, it was hard to believe the man was still single. “So how come there’s no Mrs Fin?” Having thought that aloud, I immediately wished I hadn’t and feeling mortified, prayed he hadn’t heard me. Staring straight ahead, my eyes drilled through the windscreen and my face flamed red. I couldn’t believe I’d let such words out of my mouth and I thanked God it was dark so Fin couldn’t witness my embarrassment. Someone kill me now, I silently said.
“Why do you ask?” Fin replied. “Is it a position you’re interested in?”
Finding Fin’s question even more embarrassing, I blushed deeper. I turned to look at him, aghast, but he didn’t return my gaze, his simply sat there, face forward, his expression deadpan. “You wish!” I said.