I pictured my staycation again. Me lounging on the sofa in my pyjamas, a mountain of festive snacks at the ready, all the while scrolling through the TV channels for festive movies. I imagined drinking copious amounts of wine and tackling my humongous to-be-read pile of books. I envisaged writing my long-term to-do wish list, as I reflected on my past and planned for my future. What I didn’t see in my mind’s eye was Fin.
“And no doubt very appreciative,” Annie added.
I didn’t want appreciation, I wanted solitude.
“Thank you, Holly,” Annie said. “You don’t know how much this means to me. I might not have seen Fin for years, but I’d have hated having to let him down.” Annie’s loyalty was touching. She’d been a dependable and steadfast friend to me, so it came as no surprise that she was the same with Fin. He might have been her husband’s cousin, but I knew that to Annie that made him her family too.
“No problem,” I said, my voice jumping an octave.
Annie giggled. “I’m meeting him for lunch. I can’t wait to tell him. He’ll be as thrilled as I am.”
Standing there, I told myself at least someone was.
18
Landing home, I grabbed the Secret Santa I’d been gifted at work, dreading to think what it might be. If there was a world record for buying the most random gifts ever, my colleagues would win hands down. Looking at it, I told myself there was no point trying to guess and stuffing it into my bag, I climbed out of the car.
Tired and fed up I dragged my feet as I made my way to the house. I paused as I clocked a couple of teenage girls opposite with mobile phones in their hands. It was far too cold for anyone to be out doing nothing and I narrowed my eyes, wondering if they were there to catch a glimpse of Fin. That was all I needed. Seeing me stare at them, suspicious, they giggled before scarpering off down the street, making me wonder if I was simply being paranoid. I shook my head. While I’d hoped for a Christmas to remember, that year’s was turning out to be memorable for all the wrong reasons, and instead of feeling any yuletide spirit, I felt sorry for myself.
With my last shift before Christmas complete, I should have been racing inside for a quick shower, before grabbing my suitcase and jumping into a taxi headed for the airport hotel. I should have been flying off into the sun the following day, enjoying ten days of me-time, relaxing, having fun, and thinking about my future. As it was, I couldn’t even look forward to the alternative plan of locking the front door behind me, with nothing but ten days of blissful hibernation ahead. I ruined that for myself when I agreed to provide board and lodgings to a well-known homeless chef; a chef that Annie insisted liked me.
I wished she hadn’t. The last few days had been complicated enough.
I sighed again as I thought about the day’s events. Knowing I only had myself to blame, I mocked my own stupidity. Whatever it is, it’s a yes from me… I ridiculed. See it as a gift, to celebrate becoming a grandparent… I shook my head once more, wondering why I couldn’t have kept my big mouth shut.
I paused to gather myself before entering. Despite my self-pity, I knew it wouldn’t be fair on Fin if I spent the whole evening sulking. None of what had happened was his fault. I moved to let myself in.
“Jesus Christ!” I shrieked, convinced my heart had burst. Before my hand had even touched the handle, the door flew open.
“Close your eyes,” Fin said, suddenly appearing. He’d clearly been waiting to accost me.
Too busy trying not to have a coronary to follow his instruction, I put my hand up to my chest, telling myself to breathe. “Are you trying to kill me?” I asked.
Fin laughed. “Death by shut-eye. That’s a new one on me.”
Struggling to match his good humour, I flashed Fin a dirty look.
“Come on, Holly. Play along.”
“Why? What have you done?” I took in Fin’s childlike demeanour. As if shocking me into a heart attack wasn’t enough, he obviously had another surprise ready for me. The way my day was going I dreaded to think what lay in store. I tried to look over Fin’s shoulder for a glimpse, but not only was he too tall for that, he shifted his position making it even more impossible for me to see. “Fin, please. It’s been a long day.”
He tilted his head, giving me what were, no doubt, his best puppy-dog eyes and looking at him, it was clear that if I ever wanted to get back inside my own house I’d have to do as he asked. My shoulders slumped. “This had better be good,” I said. In danger of sounding like a stroppy teenager, I reminded myself that Fin was as stuck with me as was I with him.
His palm was warm as he took my hand, and liking the feel of his firm grip, I let him guide me over the threshold and into the house. I heard the door close behind us before he led me partway down the hall. He brought me to a stop before steering me to the right and I knew we were entering the lounge.
“Ready?” he asked, bringing me to a final standstill.
“As I’ll ever be,” I replied.
He let go of me and I sensed him take a step back. “Open your eyes,” he said.
Again, I did as I was told, my eyes widening at the sight that greeted me. “Oh, Fin,” I said, suddenly overcome. “But how?” The smell of pine needles permeated the air, courtesy of the huge tree sitting pride of place in the window. Appreciating the man’s efforts, I couldn’t help but smile. “You did all this for me?”
More kitsch than co-ordinated, the tree wasn’t what some would call tasteful in the decoration department. There was no scheme or order to it, just a riot of every colour imaginable. Blue baubles hung next to red baubles, green baubles, purple and pink, all of them different in shape and size. Gold and silver tinsel intertwined as each length flowed from top to bottom like a pair of glittery helter-skelters. Candy canes and nets of chocolate coins fought for attention amongst the chaos, and Christmas crackers lay precariously on most of the tree’s branches. The whole ensemble was a colourful, hot mess, yet at the same time the most wonderful sight.
“I know it’s not the tidiest of trees,” Fin said. “But it’s better than no tree at all.”
“I think it’s perfect,” I replied, touched by the work he’d put in. “I love it.”
Fin put his arm around my shoulders, and we both simply stood there appreciating his handiwork. I leaned into him and rested my head against his chest. I breathed in his scent, happy to enjoy the moment. A stark contrast to when I’d first met Fin, I realised. Back then my body had stiffened at his touch.
“Annie carted everything up from town,” Fin said. “But I did all the decorating.”
I smiled, making a mental note to ring and thank her. “That was kind,” I said.
“It was meant to be my leaving present to say thanks for having me.” Fin looked down at me, his eyes sparkling. “But now we get to enjoy it together.”
I smiled back at him, in that moment unable to think of anything better.
“Oh, before I forget.” Fin let go of my shoulder, raced over to the sofa and pulled something from behind a cushion. “For you.”
I laughed as he held out the funniest looking Christmas tree angel I’d ever had the pleasure of seeing. It had boggly eyes and a wonky halo, which for some inexplicable reason made it even more adorable. “Thank you,” I said, taking it from him. I watched him pick up my huge heavy square pouffe and carry it over to the tree – and with such ease, I noted.