The deputy on duty came through, giving them a small wave before heading off on a circuit of the hotel.
As they ordered desert, Clare felt a certain calm descend over her. She didn’t know if it was the food, the wine, or simply the warmth of her sister’s company, but the stress of the day began to ebb. Maybe it was simply committing to the path they were on. There was a solace in resolution, no matter if you were heading into hell or not.
When the piece of chocolate cake the size and approximate weight of a brick was set before them, Shanna’s eyes lit up. “Never mind,” she said between bites. “This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”
When they were finished they left the restaurant and walked down the long first-floor hallway to the lobby, pausing before they entered the main area at an intersecting corridor. “Pool,” Shanna read from the sign with an indication arrow pointing to the left. She looked at Clare. “Could we go look at it?”
“Sure. Why not?”
The pool room was completely empty and only half of the overhead lights shone on the motionless water. Clare led Shanna to the whirlpool’s edge and sat down, removing her shoes and socks. She motioned for Shanna to do the same while rolling up her pant legs. “If we didn’t have to keep your stitches dry we’d get all the way in,” Clare said, letting her feet and legs dangle in the water. The whirlpool’s jets weren’t on but it was sufficiently heated so that Shanna’s eyes widened as she lowered her own legs over the side.
“Like a really big bathtub,” Shanna said.
Clare remembered the small, flimsy bathtubs from the Refuge, and smiled. “Exactly.”
The glass walls were dusky with late evening light. Only the soft clunk of the pool’s filter broke the silence.
“Can you see the ocean from your house?” Shanna asked, staring at the pool’s flat surface.
“Yes. From the second floor we can.”
“What’s it like?”
“It’s . . .” How to describe something as profound and elemental as the sea? She decided she couldn’t. “You have to see if for yourself.”
“Do you think . . .” Shanna stopped. Looked away.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“No, what were you going to say?”
“When this is over, do you think we could . . . I mean . . . if it all works out, could we stay with you?”
“Of course. I’m not letting you out of my sight again.”
Shanna smiled, but it slowly slipped from her face. “What about Eric? Won’t he—”
“He’ll love you.” She was about to say something more, to offer something supportive about finding her son, when her phone announced a text. “Speak of the devil,” Clare said, seeing it was Eric. Her thumb was too wet from the moisture on the floor to use her thumbprint scanner, so she had to punch in her phone’s code.
Presentation went great. Call when you can.
“Mind if I talk to him really quick?” she asked Shanna.
“No, it’s fine.”
Eric picked up on the second ring. “Hello, love.”
“Hey there. Are congratulations in order?”
“I think so. It went really well. The group was impressed with the analysis.”
“That’s great. And they should be, you worked hard on it.”
“Mark Flanagan, the vice president, floated the idea of a retainer at the end.”
“Are you kidding? That’s wonderful!”
Eric laughed. “It is, it really is. I’m excited. But I’ll fill you in on all the boring stuff when I see you, which will be in about twenty-four hours. I booked the first flight out tomorrow at eleven. Couldn’t find anything earlier. How’s it going there?”
Clare turned to look at Shanna, who was leaning over the whirlpool and staring at her reflection. For a moment she had an uncomfortable sensation she couldn’t name. It was the way Shanna was watching herself, as if she didn’t recognize the woman looking back at her from the water.
“Honey? Did I lose you?” Eric said.
“Huh? No, sorry.” She turned back to look out the glass wall, where her own reflection met her. The same sense of dislocation overcame her. Something was wrong. For several seconds she was frozen, mind unable to buffer and arrange her thoughts correctly. She’d forgotten something. No, not forgotten. Overlooked. It was a sliver in her mind that wouldn’t reveal itself, only drove in deeper the more she tried working it free. And the most inexplicable thing was she kept thinking of Manda, the little girl who she’d met last week after her lecture. She kept seeing Manda and her mother walking away down the street, presumably back into the arms of fellow cult members. But why she’d be thinking of that now was a mystery. “It’s just been a long day,” she finally managed. “I didn’t sleep well.”
“You sound tired.”
“I am.”
“Everything else is good though? Nothing crazy going on?”
She closed her eyes. “Nope. All quiet here. We did go out to the place where we grew up. The Refuge.”
“What?”
“Yes, but we’re okay. It was . . . necessary, I think. Especially for Shanna. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”
“You sure you’re all right?”
“I’m fine.”
There was a silence on the line that might as well have been Eric contradicting her. “If you say so.”
“I do.”
He paused again and she hoped he wouldn’t press the subject any further. “Can’t wait to see you,” he finally said.
“Me either. Call me in the morning before you leave.”
“I will. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
She hung up and stood facing away from Shanna for a moment, unable to say why she was afraid to turn around. It was only her sister there, sitting beside a pool of water. She tugged one last time at the mental sliver before letting it go.
Shanna was looking across the room at the far wall when Clare returned to the whirlpool’s edge. The sun had dropped below the western tree line and the sky was bruised to the color of Clare’s wine at dinner. “It’s all so beautiful,” Shanna said. Clare sat beside her and they watched the color deepen to purple, then fade to black.
Shanna yawned widely, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. “Let’s get you back to the room before you pass out,” Clare said, helping her up. Her own weariness was painting delicious pictures of the soft bed and pillows waiting above.
As they left the pool area and stepped into the hall someone approached them from the direction of the restaurant. It took Clare a beat before she recognized who it was. Brynn Johnson held up her hands as Clare began to back away, pulling Shanna instinctually behind her. “Listen, Ms. Murdock, I just want to talk, to both of you, actually. Just a few questions. There’s no reason to keep stonewalling me.”
“Shanna, go upstairs,” Clare said over her shoulder. When Shanna hesitated, she added, “Now.” Shanna moved away through the lobby, throwing a last look back at them.
“Listen, I understand you’re probably dealing with a lot, but—” Johnson began, but Clare cut her off.