“You okay?” Shanna asked. She was sitting in an overstuffed chair, reading a book she’d plucked from the shelf beside the windows.
Clare smiled. “Sorry, lost in my thoughts.” She crossed the room and sat in a wicker-backed chair opposite her sister. “What are you reading?”
“A mystery. It’s about a family that goes missing in the wilderness and a detective who was having an affair with the mother before she disappeared. It’s a little scary.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t read that one.”
Shanna shrugged, looking out the window to where Wilt paced along the tree line. “Do you think the sheriff is right?”
“About what?”
“That we’ll ever go back to normal life?”
“Yes. I do.”
“But what is normal? I’ve never known normal.”
Clare grimaced. “You’re right. It took me a long time to even understand what that was. I watched people all around me who seemed to have it figured out. They went to school, to jobs, had relationships, and lived like nothing was wrong. I knew I wasn’t normal, the way I was looking at the world, how I was seeing it. But slowly it became clearer, like my vision was getting better and better. Eric was a big part of that. After Lucas passed away I didn’t really have anyone besides my friend Lia. Now there are bad days. Really bad sometimes. But there are good days too. And great moments—wonderful moments that are worth fighting through all the bad.”
Shanna seemed to absorb this. “And do you still think we’re sick like Father was?”
“I don’t know. I’ve always had my own struggles, and you will too. Father had his. I think maybe we’re all broken and the best we can do is find ways and people who make us feel whole again.” The wind came up off the lake, making the house creak. The fire flared, sending more heat into the room. She rose and squeezed Shanna’s shoulder. “Want some tea? Or coffee? You haven’t tried coffee yet.”
“I’m okay.”
In the kitchen she found some stale light roast on the top shelf of a cupboard. As long as the caffeine hadn’t dried out as well, she’d be okay. She needed something to keep her awake. Adrenaline and stress had done the job so far, but now with the rain pattering on the roof and the gray light softening everything, sleep was like gravity weighing her down. She couldn’t succumb though, not yet. Maybe once Eric was here she’d allow herself rest. She’d feel safe then.
Glancing at the clock, she realized they hadn’t spoken prior to Eric’s flight, the last contact they’d had only a few quick texts back and forth hours ago. He’d be in the air by now, probably nearing the end of his flight. The thought bloomed a warmth in her center and she decided to call him anyway and leave a message he could listen to as soon as he touched down.
When his voicemail picked up like she knew it would she told him they were at a safe place and that she’d contact him this afternoon after he landed about how and when they’d be able to meet up. She ended the call by saying she loved him and had to fight back the emotion it brought.
The coffee was flat and almost briny but she drank it anyway, relishing the surge of caffeine. When she returned to the living room Shanna had fallen asleep in the chair, her head tipped at an uncomfortable angle to one side.
“Here, honey, let’s get you into bed,” Clare said, helping her to her feet. She guided her down the hall to the first door, into a small bedroom with a single window overlooking the lake. The linens were fairly fresh and Shanna sunk into the bed, allowing Clare to cover her with a heavy comforter. She watched her sleep for a time, then drew the door partially closed and went back to the living room.
Someone stood in the kitchen dripping rain.
Clare bit back a scream and squeezed her eyes shut. “Jesus. You scared the shit out of me.”
“Sorry,” Wilt said, taking a step back to the kitchen’s threshold. “I just came in to check on you guys and didn’t see anyone out here.”
Clare let out the tension coiled in her chest with a long breath. “Shanna’s sleeping. We’re fine.”
Wilt nodded. “Okay, good. Sorry to startle you. I’ll be ranging around or in my cruiser. Just stick your head out the door if you need anything.”
“We will, thanks.”
The deputy stepped outside, pulling the door shut behind him. Clare sank to the sofa, her limbs weak. Damnit, he’d scared her. She tried taking a sip of coffee but she couldn’t stomach it anymore. Besides, now she was on the flip side of the equation and needed something to calm her nerves instead of stimulate them.
After tossing another log on the fire she went back to the kitchen and checked a few cabinets before opening the narrow pantry and finding what she was looking for. The vodka bottle was half full and she debated for a moment before pouring a few fingers into a glass with ice. She didn’t think Hughes would mind, and if his cousin threw a fit on his next visit she’d send a new bottle gift wrapped. The thought made her huff a quiet laugh.
The fridge held a two-liter of cola and she topped the glass with it, taking her drink back to the living room after checking the front door’s locks. She didn’t want the light-footed deputy coming in unannounced and startling her again, no matter how well his intentions.
Clare sipped her drink and watched the rain. The fire popped and the vodka did its work ironing out her wrinkled nerves.
Her eyelids drooped. She blinked hard, focusing on the water dripping off the porch’s roof. It was pretty, rhythmic in a hypnotizing way. She always liked watching the rain, and many days there was plenty to watch in Oregon. Her home now. She could almost imagine she was there on the couch in their living room instead of here. Even the fireplace matched somewhat, despite it being wood instead of gas. Any second Eric would come in from his run and complain about the rain cutting his route short. They’d go upstairs and undress and make love in the afternoon dimness and fall asleep holding one another. She could almost feel his arms around her.
She drifted.
Shadows moved behind bedsheets suspended on a clothesline. Instead of the bright summer sun shining and drying the linens’ dampness, moonlight glowed overhead, except Clare couldn’t see it when she looked up. The moon was missing from the sky and so were all the stars. The inky blackness spanning between the points of light had consumed them. Now it was only solid darkness above.
The sheet nearest her snapped in the breeze and she noticed one of the shadows behind it becoming clearer, more defined. It was a little girl. Someone she knew. Her sister.
Shanna pressed herself against the sheet, the outlines of her face set in relief, patches of deep black over her eyes and mouth. Pale white arms rose into view, hands cupped together. And for some reason Clare began backing away, not wanting to see what her sister held.
“Something different,” Shanna said, and Clare could see her mouth moving through the sheet. “It’s something different.” She opened her hands and a many-legged shape squirmed there. It had made a nest of her flesh and its children burrowed and feasted.
Clare opened her mouth to cry out and tried to run at the same time, but fell to the ground, and kept falling.
Falling.
She jerked awake, slopping some of her drink onto her lap. She sucked in a huge breath, completely stunned at her surroundings for half a second. Gradually the memories eked back in. She’d drifted off. Hadn’t meant to, but the lost sleep from the night before had been too much.