‘What are you talking about?’
‘Time travel,’ I replied. ‘Not literally us physically travelling through time, but getting the court transcripts and reading them.’
‘Can we do that?’
‘Yes. The case is over thirty years old so it might be a bit trickier, but I’m sure we can get them if we pool together all the information we have about the trial at that time.’
He frowned slightly, twisted his lips fractionally as he thought about it.
‘I don’t know what job you do, Logan, but I’m sure you never do your work without getting as much information as possible.’
Time travel was going to help me: delay. I just needed a delay to work out a way to bring it up with Mum and/or convince him not to. Because once he saw the court records, I was sure he’d realise that if it could have been Mum, then it was just as likely to have been his sister. And if it wasn’t either of them, then it must have been someone else. Or, if he saw the court records, he might understand that it was his sister after all, and maybe she wouldn’t talk about it because she knew, deep down, that she went to prison for the crime she did commit.
‘If I did go along with this, how long would it take?’
This was where the time came into it, too. It would literally buy me time. ‘Potentially a few weeks,’ I said.
He rolled his eyes as though he could see right through me. ‘Of course.’
‘No, don’t look like that,’ I said quickly, desperate to keep him on side. ‘It might take time but then it might not. It totally depends on which transcription service compiled the records. But in that time, we’ll keep in touch with each other, we can even meet up regularly so you can see that I’m not trying to blow you off. I mean, you can sit with me while I fill in the correct forms, help me send them off so that you can see I actually do it and I’m not playing you. Hey, we could even set up a joint email address for the correspondence so you can see if anything comes in and you’re not sitting worrying about whether I’m scamming you.’
‘You really think this would help?’
‘Well, it can’t hurt, can it? I mean, who doesn’t want to go into any situation better armed with information? I seriously think it could help give us both a proper understanding of what was happening at the time. I mean, memories get blurred and we remember things differently to how they actually happened. The court transcripts will help put everything in a clearer context.’
‘That might work,’ he said.
‘But . . .’ I said, bringing it up now.
‘But?’
‘Seeing as we’re not applying under the Freedom of Information Act because we’re not involved, it’s going to cost.’
‘How much?’
‘I don’t know exactly, but they usually charge per day of sitting if you want the full day’s transcripts.’
‘How much?’
‘Like I said, I don’t know. I can find out. But it can run into the hundreds . . . per day.’
‘I don’t have any money.’
‘Neither do I.’
‘Well, we can’t do it, then.’
‘We could save up?’ I suggested. ‘But anyway, let me find out potentially how much it’ll cost and then we can decide if we need everything from every day or not and what we’ll do.’
Logan Carlisle looked down at the cup in front of him, his eyes seemed to be trying to burn a hole in the ceramic. ‘You had better not be trying to play me, Verity,’ he said with enough menace to let me know he would do me serious harm if I crossed him. ‘This isn’t a game to me. At all.’
‘It’s not a game to me, either. And I don’t know why you’re threatening me. I haven’t done anything to you. If anything, I’m trying to help you.’
He said nothing for a few more minutes. ‘All right, we’ll do it your way. As long as you’re really trying to help and not stall.’
‘I’m really trying to help.’ I really was. I was trying to help everyone involved, especially my mum.
poppy
Now
‘Where’ve you been, oh brother of mine?’
I’ve ambushed Logan outside his work because that seems the only way I get to see him nowadays. He works down near Old Steine in one of the big office buildings that have been erected and filled in recent years. He’s a financial adviser or something . . . He regularly tells us he’s got a new job/been promoted and we all kind of cheer/clap/make excited noises because none of us really know what it means.
‘Ahh, my biggest of sisters.’ My brother smiles and envelopes me in a bear hug. I love that he is so free with his emotions. I was worried, when I first saw them again, that there’d be a barrier created by the time apart, but there wasn’t. It was like we’d always been friends, always been close.
‘It’s pretty out of order leaving us to the parentals,’ I tell him as I come out of his hold. ‘You know they always behave better when you’re around.’
‘Nonsense,’ he says. ‘The ’rentals love all of us the same.’
We both know that’s not true and we both know this is a conversation we’ve been having for more than ten years. Basically, our parents favour Logan because, ten years ago, after I left prison and when I was finally allowed by my parents to make contact with him and Bella, he discovered how much they had kept me away from them over the years. And that discovery made him lose the plot with them.
I’d never seen anyone as angry as he was; he screamed at them, and refused to speak to them for weeks. Mum and Dad were desperate by the time I got him to calm down and engage with them. I’d negotiated us all around the kitchen table – thankfully Mum was too upset to cook – and I explained to Logan that they were doing what they thought was best. That they hadn’t meant to hurt any of us. And they’d only held off on giving my number to him when I was released from prison because they weren’t sure I was going to stick around. I didn’t mention them lying about Dad’s birthday, or them not telling me where they’d moved to. After that, when Mum and Dad had grovelled and apologised, their relationship was constantly on rocky ground. Obviously I felt responsible, it was another element of the fallout from me being in prison, but I had made peace with the fact that they would always believe I was guilty. I had to do everything I could to not cause damage to the relationships around me by returning to their lives.
Ever since, Mum and Dad behave much better when Logan is around. They don’t want him to think that they’re horrible to me or that they are anything other than loving, kind parents.
‘So, who is this lady who has caught your attention so much you’ve abandoned your family?’ I ask him.
Logan smiles and his face lights up in such a unique way, I know that she’s special, whoever she is. He is totally in love. ‘Just someone,’ he says.
‘Just someone, huh? How long has it been going on with this “just someone”?’
‘A while.’
‘Oh, please, Logan. Can you just give me something! You’re always introducing girls within minutes of getting their phone number, why won’t you open up about this one?’