“It’s okay, sweetie. Let’s just get you home.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
After ten or so minutes of normalcy, JP says, “You’re not pregnant, are you?”
A laugh burbles out of me, loose and messy. The idea is absurd.
“No,” I answer with the confidence of someone who was recently hospitalized.
“Are you sure?”
“I really doubt it.”
He nods. “Low blood sugar can hit you hard. Maybe you should have your thyroid checked.”
I nod. “Good tip.” I look at his face, and my panic has subsided enough that I can see how blue his eyes are. He looks like he’s been filtered and photoshopped into the driver’s seat of a Ferrari, but he’s sitting next to me. He’s worried about my thyroid. What planet am I living on?
I blink and JP’s eyes are just as improbably blue as they were before. His hair is just as jet-black.
“I think you were right about my blood sugar. I think I skipped breakfast.”
“All coffee and no calories, if I know you.” He leans over the center console. Before he kisses me, he pauses to let our breath mingle and let the heat build and sizzle for the briefest of moments. When he closes the gap, pressing his lips to mine, I let my eyelids close and drift off to wherever this kiss is going to take me. Suddenly all I want is for him to fuck me senseless. I want to forget everything. I want to forget that I’ve forgotten everything important, and I want it now.
I can feel him smile through the kiss and he says, “Down, girl” in the kind of voice that tells me he’s feeling it too.
When he pulls away, a semi rushes past and the wind rocks the car just slightly. “We have to get home first at least.”
He turns on the radio and I lean back against the black leather bucket chair.
JP didn’t bash my head in. I just know it. He’s caring and thoughtful and sexy as fuck. Pre-amnesia Mia was smart and chose him. Her choices should trump everything that I’ve done in the last few days.44
I don’t think Max is going to like him.
As we pull back onto the freeway, Jules stares down from his spot on the billboard overlooking the 405. See ya soon, buddy. Suddenly everything seems a little more possible.
“So how was Switzerland?” I ask, suddenly remembering that I’m not the only person in the world.
“Amazing. There’s so much history there. Everything just feels so much more…real.”
I almost laugh.
“Next time you should come with me, if you’re not too busy with work.”
I nod enthusiastically, picturing myself sliding into a chalet on skis in body-con ski pants and a fluffy jacket trimmed with fur. I know enough about myself to know that I don’t give a shit about bunnies. I’d happily sip a chocolate martini wearing at least two dead animals and then let JP fuck me with his big dick. I assume he has a big dick. I mean, everything else about him is perfect. I need to get fucked hard, no gentle lovemaking that I might be able to remember my name through. I want to feel nothing but a technicolor orgasm, over and over.
Drugs would be fine, too. I wonder if I do drugs?45
“So how did the trip to Sonoma with Mackenzie go? Did you check out that little cottage you had your eye on by the vineyard?”
I look at JP like he’s crazy. A house by a vineyard? Is that really what I was into? And who the hell is Mackenzie?
“Umm, it was a no-go. The…bones weren’t good.” JP nods like I just said something reasonable. Thank you to whatever HGTV show I watched in my former life.
JP revs the engine and shoots into the left lane to pass someone without signaling. I find this kind of sexy, even though I don’t have health insurance or money to pay my medical bills if I break my whole body in a car accident.
“It’s good to be home.” He looks over at me meaningfully. “So, Mr. Chow’s tonight?”
“I would.” I smile weakly at him. “But I have a work thing tonight. Can I take a rain check?”
Looking a little deflated, he lets out a small “Oh.”
I need to pick up Crystal and get her ready for her date with Jules—and at this point, I’m going to have to hustle.
“You rest up,” I say. “I bet you’re super jet-lagged.”
I am about to say, I’ll see you when I get home but I realize he might not expect that. I only have a couple of things at his house, which must mean I’m not living there full time.
“You want to come to my place tonight?” I ask instead. It’s risky but he’s my best chance of figuring out where I live.
“What?” He looks at me with complete disregard for traffic, like he’s in an old movie and the passing cars are on a green screen.
“Careful!” I yell, feeling every staple in my head.
“I’m so sorry, Mia, I just never expected you to invite me over.”
I stare at him, dumbfounded. He’s never been over to my place?
He grabs my thigh and squeezes. “I’m so glad that you’re finally ready to share your life with me, though.”
My heart sinks. JP doesn’t know me any better than I know myself…but whose fault is that?
43 Ugh. Come on, Max.
44 I think…
45 Should I be worried that I want to forget my life so badly when all I’ve been doing is trying to remember?
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
As we pull up to JP’s pink house on Ocean, the world gets fuzzy and I feel all floaty and disconnected. Another memory is coming. I can feel it.
We’re in the Ferrari. It’s drizzling outside and rain is splattering on the windshield. I’m wearing the same yellow dress and holding an invitation. It’s for the opening of the MySelfie exhibit.
JP is in the driver’s seat but he hasn’t shifted the car into gear. His expression is irate. “Who does that sort of thing?” He’s practically yelling.
“I had to, JP. Do you know what my life was like? Do you know how my boss treated me? I had to get out of there. “My voice is firm. “I did what I had to do.”
“I don’t care. There are rules in society. You broke the law, but more than that…you’re just messed up.” He looks me square in the eye. “You’re a fucking head case. And you used me.”
“I didn’t know you. I met you after I took all of the GoldRush material.”