“I can vouch for her, too, Officer Merry,” adds another voice, this one lighter in texture but just as clear. Behind April, a young woman rises. My eyes bug out at the sight of Charlotte, still in her green velvet gown and hugging Strudel tightly. Mrs. Fine is sitting on the bench next to her. “Valora, come sit by us.”
“Oughtn’t we be on our way?” says a woman with the pushed-in face of a bulldog, sitting at the front of the lifeboat with her hands in a muff.
“Get a move on!” cries another.
The QM switches his hard stare between me and the lifeboat.
Officer Merry sighs. “Fine, you get on. But not those two. They’re old enough to stay.”
“They’re only eight and ten!” I undershoot by a couple years and hope it’s enough.
“I was ten when my daddy gave me a mule and told me to git,” says a man from somewhere nearby.
A chorus of agreement comes from the men still waiting on the deck. “Ain’t fair to give those beggars a place when good women are still waiting on a spot.”
“Which women?” I look around and see none.
“They’re loading more from the gangway doors,” says another man.
Wink and Olly stand straight as pins. Officer Merry squats so that his eyes are even with theirs, and the hard lines of his face soften. “Look, lads. It’s time for you to be men. There’ll be another boat along soon that’ll take care of you, but for now, we have to get the women and tykes away, okay?”
“Yes, sir.” Olly’s voice cracks. Wink nods, his cheek as twitchy as a firefly’s bulb.
“No!” I insist. “They are in my care.”
“Then you stay with them,” says the woman with the muff.
Jamie belts an arm over Wink’s shoulder, pulling him back. “You go on, Val. Come on, lads. We’ll find another boat.”
I snort. How can he be so certain the next boat won’t present the same problem?
Olly follows Wink, and even Fong shuffles back. Cold air rushes against my teeth. The Johnnies are ganging up against me.
“Hurry, do hurry!” cries a woman.
April’s gloved hands beckon. “Come on, darling. We’ve got to stick together.”
Strudel barks, and Charlotte’s wet eyes watch Jamie and me silently fight.
But I can’t abandon my brother. Damn him. Jamie is like water in the palm, which can only be held a few moments before slipping through the fingers. I should never have let him walk away two years ago, in sailor slops too big for his spindly self, his too-straight posture full of hurt. If I take this boat, I may never see him again. Worse, because of him, I’ve grown attachments to others that will feel like bits of my soul ripped out if they are lost.
Officer Merry ticks his head at me. “Put her in.”
The QM and another crewman reach for me, but I step out of their grasp and lift my chin. “Lower away.”
“Bloody snakes, Val!” If Jamie’s arm wasn’t in a sling, he might toss me into the lifeboat himself. “We might not get another chance.”
Wink’s cheek has stopped fluttering, but Olly’s nose has begun to run.
“Well, then, let’s make sure we do.”
38
If we get out of this, remind me to wring your neck,” Jamie seethes, storming off.
The next two lifeboats are already being lowered, barely half-full. Have they already launched the lifeboats in the other three quadrants? My leg muscles cramp from the effort of running while trying not to fall on the ice-slickened deck. Jamie dashes to the small cutter, the lifeboat closest to the bridge, where crewmen are still boarding passengers.
Working his mouth the way he used to charm audiences before a performance, Jamie engages an officer, gesticulating even with his injured arm. “There are five of us. You’ve got plenty of room in there.” He points his nose toward the craft. I count two women among the occupants, their faces obscured by broad hats.
The boat begins to descend.
“Hold the falls, hold the falls!” Jamie demands. “Officer, let us board, mate. Look at all the people still here. Plus, we have an injured man, two children, and a girl.”
My boots clap the floor as I stride to the officer, whose nostrils flatten at the sight of me in his face. “Officer Merry told us we could board this boat. Go ask him if you don’t believe me.” I doubt the man will take me up on it.
His serious eyes squint down the deck. I swear he would’ve let us on, but then one of the boat’s occupants half stands and wags his finger at the officer. It’s the haughty Sir Cosmo Duff-Gordon. “Nonsense, do not let those mongrels on!”
Even in the cold, the word slaps me smartly across my face.
Lady Duff-Gordon looks up sharply from under her large hat. Her gaze skims my face. Then Lucy, as she asked me to call her, scoffs. “Now they’re wearing women’s clothes.”
“Lucy, it is I, Mrs. Sloane.” I hold my hands out imploringly, remembering how her satin-gloved fingers so warmly pressed my wrist only a few days ago. “You asked me to wear your Strawberries and Cream dress, don’t you remember? Please help us.”
Lucy’s top jaw rolls back like a secretary desk. “I—I—” Her eyes cast about wildly, as big as lifesavers, at last coming to rest on her husband’s confused gaze. Her face becomes severe. “I do not know you, and how dare you speak to me as a familiar.”
The denial does not surprise me, yet my mouth puckers like the time I accidentally bit into an orange rind.
Sir Duff-Gordon flicks his hand. “We must be off. I’ve paid good money. Now lower away, man. Do as I say!”
Remembering all the people in third class who haven’t yet reached the Boat Deck, and for whom it’ll be too late anyway, my temper flares like a boiler ready to explode. “Who gave him a scepter?” I seethe at the officer. “Neptune?”
Jamie spits on the deck. “You’re a bunch of bleeding nobs.” Rile up one twin and you get two for your trouble. “You’ve got room. You just won’t let us on. It’s like you’re playing God.”
And then it’s my turn. “And one day—and it could very well be this day—Saint Peter’s going to call you to task for sending a bunch of innocent souls to heaven before their time.”
Lady Duff-Gordon wraps her fur coat more securely around her. “You see how coarse they are. A bunch of savages. They will sink our boat.”
“Come on, Officer,” Sir Duff-Gordon urges, his blue eyes hardening like spots of glue. “Time’s a-wasting. Lower away, man!”