And truly demoralizing. Because it meant justice would never be served. Jane would never be able to see herself for the villain she was, for the monster she was.
But it’s enough that she’ll spend the rest of her life rotting in jail, Mia decided. Because at least there she won’t be able to ruin anyone’s life but her own.
“Goodbye, Mother.” She pushed up from the chair.
She had her hand on the door handle when Jane called to her back, “That’s it? You don’t want to—”
“Yes.” Mia cut her off as she gave her mother one final glance. “That’s it.”
As she stepped into the hall, she realized that truly was it. She hadn’t just closed the door on her mother, she’d closed the door on her past life. On all the regret and shame that’d plagued her since she was seven years, on all the guilt and self-contempt that’d haunted her ever since her twenty-first birthday.
Squaring her shoulders, she lifted her chin and thought... I didn’t overdose my baby brother. I wasn’t the one to blame for his illness. I’m not responsible for what happened the night I turned twenty-one.
I’m not the murderer.
I’m not the monster.
I never have been.
It’s always been Mom.
People talked about feeling like a weight had been lifted. That didn’t do justice to the sensation of being relieved of a lifetime of self-loathing. Mia wouldn’t have been surprised to find herself floating up toward the ceiling like Charlie and Grandpa after gulping down the fizzy lifting drink in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
But, miraculously, her feet stayed on the ground. Which was good. Because that allowed her to turn and smile at Dixon. It felt astonishingly good to tell him, “She’s all yours.”
As she watched the police officer enter the room she’d just exited, Cami’s words from the night before came back to her.
“What will it change?”
Well, it turned out that finding out what Andy had wanted to tell her, what he’d written to her the last night of his life, changed...everything.
Chapter 28
Noon...
Romeo stood on Wayfarer Island’s crescent moon-shaped beach with the rest of the Deep Six crew. As always, the water was crystalline. The breeze was cool. And the sun was warm.
Paradise.
Except he was too keyed up to appreciate its decadence.
Any minute now Mia will land, and I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to say to her. How I’m going to say it.
Which was a problem since he got the distinct impression their conversation was going to be the most important one of his life.
“Take a deep breath, brother.” Doc clapped a hand on his shoulder. “And then go drag Meat out of the surf before he eats any more waterweeds.”
Romeo frowned over at his partner. “It’s your turn.”
“Rock, paper, scissors you for it.”
But before they could see which one of them had the dubious job of coaxing Mason’s fat English bulldog out of the water, Olivia squealed, “Meat! Damnit! Stay out of the waterweeds! You’re just going to yack them up later!”
“Oh, good.” The toothpick in Doc’s mouth tilted up when he smiled. “Problem solved.”
Romeo watched as LT’s long-legged wife ran to the edge of the water, where Meatloaf—aka Meat—snuffled through the surf, looking for aquatic delicacies. Li’l Bastard, the Welsummer rooster who’d been a stowaway from a supply run to Key West, pecked at the sand next to Meat, going after the tiny crabs that dared to poke their telescoping eyes out to see what all the hubbub was about.
Everyone else on the beach chuckled when Meat gave Olivia his best juke move, starting one way before quickly changing directions, causing Olivia to curse his name and run after him. But Romeo didn’t join in their humor. He couldn’t.
He was too anxious to laugh. And his anxiety only notched up when the noise of a plane engine suddenly sounded above the hiss and shush of the surf.
Shielding his eyes from the sun, he watched as Larry lined up the nose of his amphibious aircraft perpendicular to the beach. Romeo’s jaw clenched. Not because Larry was coming into the lagoon too high and too hot. Or not just because of that. But because it was time.
Time to talk to Mia. And I still don’t have a clue what to say.
Despite the bad angle, Larry landed the aircraft without incident and motored the plane onto the beach. The roar of the engine was replaced by the soft clatter of the wind through the palm trees when he cut the power.
Larry hopped out of the pilot-side door, barefoot as usual and dressed in his standard-issue uniform of stained tank top and cutoff jean shorts. He waved to the gathered group, and then quickly opened the door to the cabin. When a pair of smooth legs appeared on the plane’s top step, Romeo did as Doc suggested and took a deep breath.
Of course, it rattled out of him on a windy sigh when the smooth legs turned out to be connected to their lawyer and not Mia.
Beside him, Doc cursed. “What the hell is she doing here? I just got over my last case of hives.”
“You sure those weren’t goose bumps?” Romeo returned Doc’s gesture by clapping a hand on the guy’s shoulder. Doc knocked his hand away and Romeo faked a wince. “Ow. Careful. Injured man here, remember?”
“Please,” Doc scoffed. “You and I both know the only pain you’re in right now is directly in my ass.”
Even though Romeo wouldn’t have thought himself capable of a chuckle two minutes ago, that was enough to have one rumbling out of him. Of course, he sobered right up when another pair of bare legs appeared on the plane’s top step. But the new gams didn’t belong to Mia either.
Alex exited the plane ahead of Mason, and Romeo noted how both of them had the wired, wild-eyed look of people who’d just spent the better part of a day and a night making transfers and eating shitty food on airplanes and in airports.
Saved the best for last, he couldn’t help thinking, his heart pounding when he spotted Mia’s sandals on the top step. Of course, once she emerged from the airplane, once he got his first look at her pretty face and her shiny hair and the way her blouse clung to breasts he knew were warm and responsive and perfect, his pounding heart became the entire drum section of a high school marching band.
Will she look at me with longing and sadness? he wondered a little desperately. Will there be anger in her eyes because she thinks I broke my promise and ruined our friendship by asking for more? Will she avoid my gaze altogether?