Oh. Right. The whole getting-comfortable-touching-each-other thing. I can’t deny that I’m failing terribly at this goal. It’s not even that I’m afraid he’s going to hurt me. I know he’s capable of it, of course, but that’s not the problem.
The real issue is that every time he touches me, it feels like he’s hooked me up to a live wire. I can be a great actress when the situation calls for it, but I haven’t managed to act natural a single time we’ve made contact. It’s something the gossip sites will glom onto without hesitation—some out of spite, some out of curiosity. Neither is good for us.
Or maybe I’m looking for an excuse to take something I most certainly shouldn’t want.
I slowly, hesitantly, place my hand on Eros’s. It feels like his palm scorches me through my jeans, like his fingers are making imprints against my skin even though he’s not gripping me at all. I’m achingly aware that he’s a few short inches from the apex of my thighs, and it’s everything I can do not to clench my legs together. I’ve never been affected by someone like this. I don’t know if it’s the danger heightening my desire or the simple fact that I shouldn’t want this man, almost husband or no.
“You’re so tense, you’re practically vibrating out of your seat.”
The comment stings. “I’m doing my best.”
His tone is mild. His words aren’t. “Your best isn’t good enough. We have mere hours to make this work. As enjoyable as it is to kiss you every time you start spiraling, you have to be able to handle me touching you.”
A hot feeling flares across my face, but I can’t tell if it’s shame or desire. “I’m aware of that.”
Eros takes the turn to his block and then again into the parking garage. “The offer still stands.”
No need to ask for clarification. There’s only one offer on the table right now, and it’s one I most definitely shouldn’t accept. I stare down at the way his hand looks on my thigh. Broad palm, blunt fingers, perfectly maintained nails. It’s as handsome as the rest of him, but there are calluses on his palm. A small external indicator that he’s not entirely as he seems.
The heat suffusing my face flares hotter, lower. It feels like Eros has sucked out all the air in the car, and he hasn’t even done anything. The only time I’ve felt this discombobulated was when I held hands with Jenny Lee in seventh grade. Hot and clammy and desperately not wanting to do anything to make the contact cease. It hadn’t ended well for me then; I’d dredged up all my bravery and leaned in to kiss her, only to discover she was holding my hand as a friend.
Eros doesn’t want to be friends with me, but the sensation of walking a tightrope over a pit of crocodiles is identical. One wrong move, and humiliation will be the least of my worries.
He parks and we climb out of the car. Eros allows me to grab one suitcase, but he takes the other and the lighting equipment. He’s got a strange look on his face, but I don’t know him well enough to recognize if it’s just a default distant expression or if something’s actually bothering him. He locks the door to his penthouse behind us and leads me down the hallway to one of the doors we passed the night before.
It opens into a perfectly nice spare bedroom decorated in cool gray tones. A king-sized bed takes up one wall and there are two doors on the opposite side of the room, leading to a decent-sized walk-in closet and a bathroom that is only slightly smaller than the master bath. And, of course, there’s a giant mirror in between the doors, reflecting our images back at us.
Eros sets my stuff on the bed, and I follow suit. He turns to me. “You can have the spare bedroom.”
Relief has me weaving on my feet. It was one thing to sleep next to him last night, but I can barely comprehend doing it every night. “Thank the gods.”
Eros’s lips curve, but it’s not a nice smile. “Don’t misunderstand. You can put your shit in the spare bedroom. Make it as cluttered as you want it, but keep it confined to here. That’s the only thing staying in the spare bedroom.”
My relief fizzles out like a deflated balloon. I want to yell at him, which is precisely why I can’t. It’s just proving that I’m not prepared to do this all the way. Damn it. I have to do this 100 percent. I thought I could cut corners, but today’s proven that’s an impossible ask. There’s only one solution.
I glance at my phone. It’s nearly one. “What time is the jeweler getting here?”
“Two.”
“Plenty of time, then.” I walk out of the spare room and down the hall to the master. I’m achingly aware of Eros shadowing my steps, and when I glance over my shoulder, I find his gaze on my ass. Strangely, that gives me the confidence I need to pull my shirt over my head. “Let’s do this.”
He stops short. “I’m going to need you to elaborate.”
I start unbuttoning my jeans. This would be a lot less awkward if he was stripping, too, rather than staring at me as if I’d sprouted a second head. “You were right, I was wrong. We need to rip the bandage off, and we need to do it now. So let’s trade orgasms and be done with this so we can convince people we’re a real couple.”
13
Eros
I don’t know what changed on the ride back to my place, but now I understand what Psyche was silently chewing on. She peels off her jeans, leaving only a pair of lace panties and a nude bra. The sight of her steals my breath. She doesn’t have the Photoshop finish that so many people in Olympus chase; she’s got curves and a scattering of stretch marks and an ass I want to take a bite out of. Holy fuck, this is actually happening.
Still…
I clear my throat, concentrating on holding my position and not lunging at her like a fucking animal. “Just this morning, you said it wasn’t necessary.”
“I know.” She shrugs and twists a lock of her dark hair around her finger. “Look, the truth is that I don’t separate sex and emotions all that well. The very last thing I want is an emotional entanglement with you. It would make an already messy situation messier, and neither of us needs that.”
No reason for that to sting. No reason at all. This is merely a business arrangement, if one she didn’t enter into voluntarily. It’s only reasonable that she doesn’t want to become emotionally entangled with me.
That, and the fact that I’m a fucking monster.
I take one step into the bedroom and close the door softly behind me. “What are you proposing?”
“A one-time thing.” She reaches behind her for her bra hook and hesitates. “Trial by fire and all that.”
“I can assure you that it will feel better than a trial by fire.” I move toward her slowly. I already know once won’t be enough for me—not by a long shot. She won’t thank me for saying as much, though. Psyche feels the chemistry, too. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t melt for me every time I kiss her. On that note… “Kissing remains on the table for the future.”