But with those pleasant feelings also came a sense of responsibility. A heavy weight that bound her as surely as chains.
Because her actions didn't affect only her.
Sebastian's reluctance was obvious as he looked back at Eva one last time before spreading his wings and dropping over the ledge.
Eva stepped up to the edge, looking down to find Sebastian gliding over the land.
For a moment, she envied him his wings. The ease with which he could take flight. The ability to go anywhere at any time. No worry of beast or mist to hold him back.
It was freedom. Pure and simple.
But perhaps it was a good thing she didn't have wings. Eva suspected it'd be all too easy to run every time things got difficult.
Orion joined her, silence filling the space between them. A hushed quiet far from the crackling hum that had been present with the other Kyren.
Eva looked up at the sky, taking in the thin streams of white cloud so high up she didn't think she could reach them even on Sebastian's back.
"I don't know what you want," Eva finally admitted.
She'd thought she did. She had it all figured out. She'd be their Caller and together they'd work to better the relations between Kyren and human.
Now, she couldn't help but think she'd been a little naive to assume it would be so easy.
We want the same thing as the Trateri. A safe place to call our own. Somewhere we can rear our children and live our lives in peace without worrying those who mean us harm will intrude at any moment.
There was the impression of a smile in Eva's mind.
Of course, if there are the occasional battles, we wouldn't say no to that either.
Eva twisted to face Orion. "Then why does it seem that everything you do is designed to push me away?"
The long wait. The last minute summons. Neither were the actions of someone who wanted this to work.
It was upsetting.
Maybe if it had been the old her, she wouldn't care. The one from before she’d bonded with Sebastian. The one who looked at the Trateri as a means to an end, more attached to their horses than the people themselves.
But she was different now. She cared. Too much.
Not just about the alliance either. The Kyren had promised her purpose and a readymade family. Now, they were threatening to take that away from her.
She didn't know if she was ready to let it go.
"You didn't even allow me to visit the herd lands."
Instead, they’d brought her here. A place just as beautiful, but that didn't take away the sting such an act represented. Distrust. Told you can approach but only this far.
Orion's sigh came. There is still a lot you don't understand about us.
"That won't change unless you talk to me."
A chuckle sounded. You are not wrong.
"I was never certain I could be what you wanted me to be, but I took a chance because I thought it was important. That the Kyren deserved to be heard. Was I wrong?"
She needed to know. Nothing hurt worse than failure—especially when you wanted to succeed almost more than anything.
If she could manage expectations, maybe she could prepare herself, so she wasn't crushed in the end.
Eyes that gleamed like starlight focused on Eva.
Orion's emotions were locked down tighter than Sebastian's, giving her no hint as to what he was thinking. It left Eva’s mind blind to him. Like she'd been deprived of one of her senses.
Until this moment, she hadn't realized how much she'd come to rely on what she sensed from the Kyren and other mythologicals.
You are a Caller. I've never doubted that.
If that was the case, what were his reasons for the rest?
Did you think you would gain acceptance as easily as you did a title?
Eva choked. "I wouldn't exactly call that easy."
She'd almost died after all.
Some steps you must take on your own. We cannot do them for you or provide shortcuts.
Eva's frown held irritation. "Perhaps your advice could be a little more helpful and less obscure."
She'd certainly appreciate it.
There was a burst of amusement from Orion, his emotions whispering into Eva like a summer breeze clearing away some of her frustration and bringing with it the knowledge that he truly did wish for her success.
To become a pathfinder, one must first find their way to Wayfarer's Keep. They pass through unimaginable danger. Brave beast and mist. All for a chance at something most scorn.
Eva concentrated. Why did she feel like there was a deeper meaning to those words?
They take the first step alone, and it's often the hardest.
"You're saying I need to find my way alone."
Orion's gaze was patient, telling her she was on the right track.
"Only I can bring myself to the herd lands."
This time Eva's words held a little more certainly.
Eva sunk into thought. This could explain the distance they'd maintained since her arrival.
It would have been nice to know about this little test at the beginning.
"You realize I have no clue where your herd lands are," Eva pointed out.
You don't give yourself enough credit. You've already been there in spirit. Your body simply needs to follow.
Eva frowned up at the sky. That—was less than helpful.
"If we aren't in the herd lands, where are we?" Eva finally asked, leaving the topic of how to find a place she'd never been—without help and without dying—for later.
Also, our herd lands.
Eva scowled as she gave Orion a look.
Orion's wings spread as he surged upward. The herd lands you seek are sacred. Take a day or two before heading back. Acquaint yourself with my herd then go from there.
"What good advice. Not vague or hard to understand at all."
Not.
Grumbling to herself, Eva studied the sharp drop. Her frown deepened as she walked along the ledge, scrutinizing the cliff below.
Wait a minute. There was no way down. No stairs or rope to slide down. Just un-abating rock.
She was stuck. Well and truly.
"Seriously just going to leave me here, huh?"
Eva's lips tightened as she shook her head. Why didn't this surprise her?
Eva set her hands on her hips and swore as she studied the drop. There was no way around it. She wasn't getting down. Nor was she going up, Eva conceded after she craned her head back to take in the cliff behind her.
"So much for getting acquainted with the Kyren."
Despite the fact she was effectively marooned on this ledge, Eva didn't panic. Sebastian would come in search of her. Probably.
She settled in to wait, leaning her back against the cool rock behind her and sliding into a sitting position as she stared at the Kyren in the distance. Hopefully, Sebastian would remember her before night fall. Otherwise, she'd be camping here. Without gear or food.
Eva shivered at the thought.
The time passed slowly, and it wasn't long before Eva grew tired of sitting on hard stone. Her hours on Sebastian's back didn't help matters, her legs and hips still aching.
Eva used the wall to stand, stretching her back. With nothing better to do, Eva paced to the end of the ledge before turning and making her way to the other end.
She paused, her attention landing on the cave Orion had come out of earlier. The darkness whispered her name, and she took a step toward it before stopping.