“Not recently.” Platters of food were being brought out, and it took everything Wesley had not to salivate. The succulent game, the roasted vegetables. It all smelled divine.
But as the lady next to him passed him the platter, he stared at the serving spoon. There was no way he’d be able to hold the platter and serve himself without dropping everything into his lap. The only clothes he had were the ones that Master Bow had made for him, and he’d already ripped his jacket from last night.
“Let me,” Phillipa said softly, her hand brushing against his paw as she took the platter from him.
Their gazes caught, but only for a moment before Phillipa concentrated her attention on filling Wesley’s plate.
“Thank you.”
“It must be hard, getting used to those.” She nodded toward his paws.
“Different.” He hated that it came out as a grunt. “Everything is.”
“I can imagine.” She took a delicate bite of her food. Wesley’s gaze was fixed on her lips. Oh, how he wanted to taste them. “Does your family know?”
“Yes.”
“How did they react?”
“Weren’t surprised.” Another grunt.
“I’m sorry if I’m asking about things I shouldn’t.”
He was thankful she was entertaining the possibility that he was Wesley. It could have all been an act to remain polite in front of the rest of the party. But it was more of a chance than he’d thought he’d get with her after the encounter in the library.
“Ask anything you want,” he said. “My family knew this could happen. It is a virus that afflicts some of us. I had an uncle that turned, and there are others.”
He lowered his snout to his plate, taking a bite. He felt self-conscious, all these women and monsters dressed in finery with the utmost manners…but a lizardman was having his lady feed him, and others were eating straight from their plates.
He turned to find Phillipa glaring at him. “Why am I learning of this now, wolven?”
“I always knew this could be a possibility, but I was too arrogant to believe it could happen to me.” How foolish he’d been. “The transformation began without warning. I was still in disbelief, and then it was too late.”
“Your family never told me they had spoken with you. Only that they were unsure of your whereabouts and reluctant to declare your disappearance anything but that,” Phillipa said as she refilled his plate from the next platter passed to her.
“I asked them not to tell you.”
Her mouth opened. “Why not?”
“Because there was a chance I could shift back to human and come back to you.” He lowered his gaze. “Needed magic.”
“Ah yes, you were too busy torturing the fae in the woods to let them tell me about your condition.” She scoffed. “Wolven, I almost ruined myself waiting for you to come gallantly back into my life. I held onto hope when everyone told me that it was futile. My life would’ve been much easier if I had known what had happened. Even if your family had told me you were dead.”
She stifled a sob.
“I’m so sorry, Phillipa. I never meant to cause you any pain.”
“Whether you meant it or not, pain has been my constant companion since your disappearance.”
“It is my sincere hope that you never feel such pain again,” he said, taking her hand in his. He loved that he could still feel her skin, even through the leatheriness of his paws. It wasn’t as soft as it used to be, but he appreciated that. “You have a beautiful garden.”
“Wolven, I’m not sure I can do this.” She pulled her hand back and rose from the table.
“Phillipa.”
But it was no use. She ran into the Hall, leaving him alone amid stunned onlookers.
He was a failure.
“Go to her.” Master Bow waved his hand. “She needs to know that you’ll be there for her, more now than you ever were as a human. You were a duke then, now you are a king.”
Chapter Thirteen
Phillipa
The wolven was absolutely impossible. Phillipa felt delusional entertaining the possibility this beast, who’d brought so much terror and turmoil to the woodlands, could be her beloved Wesley.
But he was saying all the right things, and for the first time in a long time, she considered that she could have her life back.
Could she simply pick up where she’d left off with Wesley, if he was indeed this wolven?
As she sat on the burgundy velvet chaise, watching the festivities in the garden, she thought about her wedding night. How it wasn’t so different than this. It had been a warm night, and their friends and family had celebrated with the new couple in the gardens of Bournehurst. Once all the guests had retired to their rooms, she’d invited him to her chamber.
She’d changed into her special dressing gown, the one that had been made just for that night. It was all lace, and tied down the front, so she could offer herself to her beloved Wesley, and he could unwrap her like a present.
But Wesley never came for her.
And now here this Wolven was, expecting her to simply accept him as her husband, with the explanation that he’d never told her about an obscure virus that transformed him into a monster.
The problem was her heart wanted to take him back. But her mind told her it was impossible. How could she live with this beast? He couldn’t even use the utensils at dinner.
He’d hidden the truth from her, and asked his family not to tell her about his plight.
Not to mention what he’d done to the fae. It didn’t matter that he believed their magic held a cure for his affliction. He hurt them.
Was she holding him to an impossible standard, for she had been willing to hurt him as well?
She had to admit he’d looked quite handsome in his fine jacket, and he’d inquired about her family…
Or was she too willing to accept him because she wanted the nightmare of his disappearance to end, no matter what it took?
She wasn’t alone anymore. The energy in the room changed. Wild, untamed energy that changed the rhythm of her own heartbeat, made it more frantic.
There was no denying that she felt something for the beast that stood in the doorway, watching her.
“Lady Phillipa,” the wolven said. “May I join you?”
“You didn’t call me duchess.”
He grinned, but she couldn’t help but notice that his paws were knotted together in front of his stomach. No matter who he was, he wanted this. He wanted her. “You don’t seem ready for that. I was hoping you would grant me another chance to enchant you.”
“Enchant me.” Her heart skipped a beat. She didn’t want to tell him she already was. How different it could be if they were meeting for the very first time. “I did promise you a dance.”
“Yes, you promised me a dance.” He took a step forward. “But what I would really love is a chance to start over.”
“You’d have to go back in time quite a bit, wolven. Change many bad decisions.”
“I wish I had been upfront with you. It would have saved everyone a lot of heartache. And I would have never caused the fae so much suffering. For those things, I apologize, but I cannot change the past. Only the future.” Those blue eyes held so much emotion. In the library, she wouldn’t allow herself to admit how much they’d reminded her of Wesley. Maybe that was why she was so willing to believe him.