Dolby(16)
Author: Maryann Jordan
He looked down at his boots with a crinkle across his brow. “I’m sorry. Should I have taken off my shoes?”
With a flaming face, she shook her head. “No, no. I was just looking… well, just thinking… you have big feet.” As soon as those words slipped out, she wished the floor would open to swallow her whole. “Oh God, that’s not what I meant.”
He burst out laughing, and in spite of the embarrassment coursing through her body, she smiled at the sound. Blowing out a clearing breath, she tried again. “I have little feet.” Before embarrassing herself further, she smoothed her palms over her thighs. “You said that I forgot something, Jonathan. I can’t imagine that I left anything.”
“Yes, you did.” He waited until her gaze sought his. “You forgot to say goodbye.”
Her body jerked slightly, and she opened her mouth before snapping it shut, uncertain of what to say.
He lifted his hands in a placating manner and said, “I know I’m being presumptuous, and I apologize. When I woke yesterday morning and you were gone, a part of me was shocked because, as a former Ranger, I should’ve heard your movements. But then, I was just saddened you’d left so quickly, and we didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. I would’ve made sure you got home safely.” He looked around before turning his twinkling eyes back to her. With a boyish grin, he added, “I confess, I would’ve liked to have had your phone number, too.”
Heart beating an unsteady pattern, she tilted her head to the side as she stared. “My phone number?”
“Yeah, Marcia, your phone number. I really liked talking to you.” He shrugged before adding, “And I would’ve liked to have more time getting to know you.”
While his words caused her heart to sing, she narrowed her eyes as another thought hit her. “Jonathan, just how did you find me?”
His confident air dropped away, and he shifted on the sofa, his expression like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. His shoulders slumped slightly. “All I knew was your first name and what you looked like,” he began.
“You’re also an investigator,” she stated, crossing her arms over her chest as understanding settled in. “You investigated me.”
He winced, nodding. “I used a search for a driver’s license in California. I should apologize for invading your privacy, but I wanted to see you again, Marcia. But if you tell me to leave and never come back or contact you again, I promise I’ll honor your wishes. I really hope that you won’t, though.”
Her body tightened, her muscles brittle, threatening to snap. “And just what else about me did you investigate?”
The surprise on his face seemed genuine, and the way he jerked back his body as though punched made her think that perhaps her address was all he’d discovered.
Lifting his hands to the side, he shook his head and spoke softly. “Marcia, I promise I didn’t investigate you in any way other than to find out where you lived so I could visit. I don’t know anything else about you.” He stood, his expression now defeated. “I’ll leave. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable, and it’s apparent that I have. I hope you’ll keep my phone number in case you ever want to contact me, and I really hope you do. But I’ll leave it on your terms.”
She barely breathed, standing on a precipice, not unlike the cliffs outside her window. Only instead of the beach at the bottom, this precipice felt as though it could be lined with jagged rocks just waiting to tear her to shreds.
She jumped to her feet and stared as time stood still and the world stopped revolving. Their gazes held, neither looking away. It was only the two of them in the center of the universe. Neither moved, both holding their breaths as the seconds ticked by.
A slow, sad expression crept over his face, and he finally offered a dip of his chin. “Goodbye, Marcia. It was truly a pleasure to have met you.”
Her chest rose and fell as the air left her lungs, but as he turned to walk out of her house, all the oxygen and light disappeared from the room. The room felt colder, darker.
She never made snap decisions, always thinking everything through carefully. The instinct to protect herself kicked in, but reality slammed into her. If he walks out of my life, I’ll regret it forever. Deep inside a strength grew, surprising her.
“No, wait!” she cried out, her arms lifting toward him.
He stopped and turned slowly, his expression carefully blank but his gaze penetrating. Saying nothing, he waited.
“Please don’t go. I can’t explain it. I’m usually… well, in the past… it’s just that I’m always very cautious. But there’s something about you… something that makes me want to know you more. I’m afraid, but I don’t wanna be so afraid that I don’t give you a chance to be my friend.” Her words rambled, and she shook her head slightly. How can I write such prose yet can’t speak what I’m feeling?
He turned the rest of the way to face her and slowly walked to where she stood, giving her every opportunity to halt him. But she didn’t want him to stop. When he was directly in front of her, she leaned her head way back to hold his gaze and discovered once again that nothing about him frightened her. Warmth and light moved in with his presence, surrounding her again.
“Are you sure, Marcia? I don’t know what’s happened in your past to make you fearful, and I hope that one day you’ll share it all with me. I can’t even explain this draw that I have toward you, but it’s there, and it’s real. I’ve spent too much time on the battlefield honing skills of listening to my inner voice. And while it might serve me on missions, I’d be a fool to ignore it in my personal life as well.”
Her brow furrowed as she pondered his words, his larger-than-life persona filling the room, encircling her. Self-doubt crept in. “I’m not a very exciting person, Jonathan. I’m introverted and timid, and I know a lot of men don’t want to spend the time it takes to get to know me. I guess I don’t know what you think you see in me.”
“What I see is a beautiful woman whose strength shines out despite a haunted specter in her eyes.”
She jerked at his succinct words, surprised he seemed to see within her and describe her so perfectly.
“I see someone who challenged herself, moved past her comfort zone, helped a stranger, and made me want to know more about you. That’s what I see when I look at you.”
Nothing he said had ever been spoken before. She’d had men who thought they knew who she was, often thinking that if they tried to force an introvert to socialize, she would become an exciting person. Or men who discovered more about her and thought they knew who she was based on what she’d been through. She met a few opportunists in the past, only serving to have her pull inside herself even more.