Romancing the Heiress(38)
Author: Darcy Burke
His eyes widened. “All this time and you never said anything?”
Lifting a shoulder, she lowered her hand from his face and rested it on the table beside her hip. “What could I have said? I didn’t think you returned the sentiment. We were friends, and that was enough for me.”
“But—” He hesitated, his eyes darkening with a mix of emotions. “When you left, you still didn’t say anything.”
“Again, what should I have said? ‘I love you, Phin,’ and then what?”
“I…I don’t know. I might have tried harder to convince you to stay.”
“In what capacity? You didn’t love me. Rather, you don’t love me. I don’t blame you for not returning my feelings. I never expected you to.” But it would have been nice. As beautiful and joyous as this had been for her, the pain of losing him after such a momentous event began to creep in.
No, she wouldn’t let it. This was beyond her expectations, and she would relish it for the rest of her life.
He frowned, then his features softened, and he moved his hand to her nape, holding her as he looked into her eyes. “Actually, I do love you. I probably have for some time and just didn’t see it.”
What? No. No one had ever loved her, except perhaps Lady Norcott. And Sadie, as her dearest friend. But Phin? The man she’d loved for so long? The dream she never thought could come true? Her mind couldn’t accept it.
Leah pushed at his chest, and he stepped back from her so she could slide from the table to the floor. She pulled up her chemise and tightened the neckline before moving on to her corset. “You don’t need to love me because of what just happened. I don’t expect that. I want our friendship to remain just as it is.” When her stays were back in place, she looked up at him.
After fastening his fall, he watched her with a reticent stare. “Well, I don’t. Friendship isn’t enough for me anymore. I do love you, and I want to marry you. Leah, please be my wife.”
Her heart broke in entirely new ways and in far more pieces than it ever had before. She couldn’t be his wife and live here in Marrywell. It was so painful to think that she’d been happier away from here than living where he was. But the only good memories she had were of him, and the time she’d spent with him still hadn’t eclipsed that which she’d spent at home. “I can’t marry you. Please don’t ask it of me.”
“But I already did.”
She pulled up her dress and fastened the buttons at her shoulders. She couldn’t quite bring herself to look at him. “Then take it back.”
Chapter 15
“Never.”
How could she refuse him if she loved him? If she had loved him for so long? Phin watched her finish righting her dress, his mind overcome with new and wonderful thoughts. He loved her! She loved him!
You still need money.
First, he needed to understand Leah. “Why can’t you marry me? Please explain this, because I am not seeing an obstacle.”
“Marrywell is the obstacle,” she said quietly. “More accurately, it’s my family. I left here for a reason, and I never intended to come back.”
“Then why are you here?” He was beginning to grow cold, so he went in search of his shirt and drew it over his head. He also found her gloves and went to hand them to her. As she grasped them, he didn’t let go and wouldn’t until she answered him.
She swallowed, glancing away from him. “I wanted to see you. Just to make sure you were well. Since you don’t write.”
Never would he regret anything more. Perhaps his feelings for her would have blossomed sooner if they’d corresponded. “You only wanted to see if I was well? Doesn’t Sadie keep you informed about me? She told me she did.”
How he wished she’d told him how she felt. But would it have mattered? She was right, he hadn’t loved her before. Still, he’d been distraught when she’d left. Perhaps if he’d known of her feelings that might have provoked something within him…
It was pointless to contemplate. That opportunity had long passed. This one, however, was within his grasp, and he wasn’t letting go. He kept tight hold of the gloves.
There had to be more to her return. He gave her a pleading look. “No more secrets. Please.”
“I don’t know what I expected.” She spoke passionately, almost angrily. “I just wanted to see you. I knew you weren’t wed. Part of me hoped—” She pressed her lips together until they turned white.
“That I would fall in love with you and want to marry you?” He worked to keep from smiling, sensing how emotional this was for her even if he didn’t entirely understand. “I have the best news, then, for both those things are true. You have only to say yes.”
“But I can’t live here! And you can’t live anywhere else!” She pulled hard on the gloves, and he let them go. “I’ve already nearly run into my father and had to speak with my brother. How long until I’m faced with my mother? I can’t do it, Phin.”
He longed to take her in his arms and soothe her, but her eyes were slightly wild, and her body poised for flight. “I’ll be with you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“It already happened a long time ago. You can’t understand how it feels to think of seeing her. My body shakes, my heart races, I feel as if I might drown even though there is no water about…”
The hell with it. Phin closed the distance between them and wrapped her in a fierce hug, holding her tight against him. “I wish I could ease your pain.”
“You do. You always have. But it’s still there.”
So, she would just leave him again? He didn’t think he could bear it. Last time had been hard enough, but this time, he loved her. He never wanted to let her go. And he still needed money for the gardens.
The solution suddenly seemed simple. “I’ll sell the botanical gardens to Mercer. I may even be able to convince him to buy Radford Grange. Then we can go live anywhere.”
She stepped back, her face pale and her eyes wide. “You can’t. I won’t let you. You are the gardens and Radford Grange. Selling them would be like selling yourself. After everything your grandfather created—” She stopped short and shook her head vigorously.