Father McGuire glared at Essie from the pulpit. Gertie squeezed her hand. Mrs Yarwood pressed her handkerchief into each eye and Mr Yarwood leaned forwards with his head bowed. Ma sat sniffing, tattered skirts pooled around her hips.
It was the worst day of Essie’s life.
Chapter 21
Essie met Edward at their usual meeting spot at the corner of Hyde Park, as they had arranged the previous Saturday. Essie had wanted to send a letter to cancel. Her heart was too broken. She missed the twins, and her head was churning with rage. What could she do for Gertie to make things better? How could Gertie finish school so her life wasn’t wasted too? She’d thought about forging Ma’s signature on the permission papers to sit the entry exams for Miss Barnes, but she couldn’t just sneak her sister into a different school.
It had been Gertie who had put her hand on Essie’s wrist and insisted she go. ‘I know you’ve not been going to Mrs Ruben’s on a Saturday.’
Essie looked up, surprised. Her cheeks started to burn.
‘For one thing, nobody sings because they are going to work for an extra day.’
‘And?’
‘And … there’s always a glow to your cheeks when you get home. And no factory smell on your skin. Last time you smelled of cut grass and strawberries.’ Gertie gave her a knowing look. ‘I don’t s’pose there’s either of those in the factory. I guess I’ll find out soon enough when I start work there.’
‘Stop! I won’t let that happen.’
‘Es, you need to stop trying to fix us all.’ She reached out and took Essie’s hand and whispered sadly, ‘There’s no point …’
‘Stop saying that! I couldn’t save Flora and Maggie—’ bile started to burn the back of her throat as her stomach roiled ‘—but it’s still possible for—’
Gertie pulled away abruptly and covered her face with her hands. Her body shuddered as she started to sob.
Essie touched Gertie’s shoulder. Their grief for the twins sat heavy in their bones. If Essie let it, it would drag them both under. She looked at Ma, snoring in their only good sitting chair—sleeping off last night’s bottle of whisky. Freddie had only just arrived home this morning. They’d not seen him since the funeral earlier in the week.
‘I’ve been meeting Mr Hepplestone—Edward,’ she blushed, ‘since our excursion to the Observatory. We walk in Hyde Park, go to the pictures. Sometimes we even have tea …’
Gertie’s mouth twitched and she half-smiled. ‘I’m pleased for you, Es.’ She grabbed her older sister’s hand. ‘You deserve more.’ She shook her head at their ma, still asleep slumped in the chair.
‘Edward’s bought a flat in Mayfair,’ blurted Essie. ‘He wants to show me. We’re going there this afternoon, straight after our usual walk in Hyde Park.’ She stopped, guilt stuck like a stone in her throat.
She’d imagined, hoped, that maybe if Edward was as sweet on her as he seemed that there might be a future for them. A future with fresh sheets smelling of lavender, their own bedrooms with a desk for Gertie and a yellow kitchen full of slow-roasting beef and apple pie, just like the Yarwoods. And surely it meant something that he was taking her to see his new flat. Perhaps he, too, was imagining that one day they might live in it together …
Edward closed the heavy wooden door to his apartment and Essie’s heart skipped a beat. They were alone for the first time that day.
Freddie had insisted on accompanying Essie.
Just as she’d been about to leave, Freddie had come in from the yard, where he’d been fixing the chicken coop, and said, ‘Wait, I’ll be coming with you, Es.’ His eyes softened as he touched Essie on the shoulder. ‘I know you’ve been walking out a bit with Edward Hepplestone. Danny told me he’d seen you around.’ His dark eyes shone with hurt. ‘He was worried I wasn’t looking out for you, what with all that’s happened and me being … away.’
Yet as soon as they reached the grand wooden door of Edward’s apartment building, Freddie looked down at his hand-stitched felt pants and dusty shoes and quickly excused himself. ‘Gotta go meet some of the lads down the road,’ he muttered.
So Essie and Edward would be alone in Edward’s new apartment for as long as it took Freddie to drink his pint down the road—and maybe a second and third, if darts went his way. She couldn’t blame her brother for his reluctance to step into his boss’s fancy new digs. He dreamed of getting his own two-up two-down with Rosie Jones one day … but his loyalty to Ma, Essie and the girls meant there was nothing put aside for savings.
Edward pulled the security chain across the door and tucked the key into his waistcoat. Then he took Essie by the hand and led her down the wide hall and into a large empty room with duck-egg blue silk wallpaper. A chandelier dangled from a golden ceiling rose and she gasped.
‘It’s beautiful,’ she said. ‘This blue is my favourite.’
‘I know. I remember.’ He smiled and held her gaze for a beat. ‘What do you think of the view?’
She stepped across to the bay window and saw London outside—but not the London she was used to. This was a London of sleek black motor cars, of elegant women in stylish coats with fur cuffs and men in bowler hats.
Essie’s stomach fluttered and for the first time since the twins had died she felt aglow with happiness. Was it possible that she could live in this London—and bring her family with her? Though she still hadn’t met Edward’s family, she recalled. She wanted to ask when his sister would be home from Switzerland, and when she might be introduced to his parents, but she didn’t know how to without seeming pushy or forward.
Edward, meanwhile, was keen to continue the tour, leading her through the master bedroom and a luxuriously appointed bathroom with clawfoot bath, gold taps and hot running water, before pointing out the two smaller bedrooms at the back.
‘I plan to move in a couple of months,’ he said proudly. He put his arms around her and gave her a squeeze. ‘But before I do, there are some opportunities in Boston for my family’s company. I’m sailing over for business. I could even end up living there some day.’
‘You mean you might be moving to Boston?’ Essie’s chest tightened and her cheeks started to burn—it had been silly of her to imagine they had a future together. Ludicrous.
‘In time, perhaps.’ He shrugged. ‘We’ll see.’
‘When do you sail?’
‘Tomorrow. But before I go, I have something for you—so you don’t forget me while I’m gone.’ Then he added softly, ‘I’ll be coming back for you, I promise.’
Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out his purse. Hooked onto its end, like a shepherd’s crook, was a tiny silver hairpin studded with turquoise stones at the top of the crook.
As Edward unhooked it, she moved forwards for a closer look.
‘It’s a bodkin!’ she exclaimed. ‘I’ve seen ladies who come to the factory wearing them in their hair. Mrs Ruben’s best customer has one with diamonds. She let me hold it last week.’ Her eyes widened. ‘Can you imagine?’