He was waiting for her with a cup of coffee and a warm croissant.
‘Did you eat?’
She shook her head, laughing.
‘I had the feeling that you would be preoccupied,’ he responded, handing her the drink and the pastry. She took them gratefully.
They decided they would get the nine-thirty train, which would take them all the way to Berlin.
As they travelled from Paris, they talked the entire time, for the whole eight hours. But she still didn’t tell him about Matt. She told him about everything else – he already knew about Emily, but she talked about her work, her home, her cat. Just not, ‘oh and by the way, I just got dumped’. Not, she realised, because she was hurting, so much as she found she simply didn’t want to talk about her ex. He was her past, he would always be Emily’s dad, but he had been right – their relationship hadn’t been going anywhere. He’d done it the wrong way, but he’d done them both a favour in the long-term.
Alex, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have any trouble talking about his personal life. He also had a cat, and had just finished with a girlfriend, three months before. ‘And she broke my heart,’ he said, placing his hand on his chest. ‘But she went to a better man, so what can I say?’
They arrived late in the afternoon. Sophie mused how each city had its own smell. Berlin’s was damp and clinical. Around her, people chattered in many different languages, none of which she understood, and suddenly she was so grateful that Alex was with her.
‘Let’s get a taxi,’ she suggested.
They made their way outside and Alex gave the taxi driver the name of the place where they were staying. On arrival, she was glad to see that the hotel was a hive of activity and there were quite a few people buzzing about. She hadn’t wanted anything too intimate, and having lots of people around could stop things becoming too intense between the two of them.
Depositing their bags in their rooms, they went down to have dinner. Alex interpreted the menu. ‘I hope you like sausages,’ he mused as he translated. ‘They have ten different types right here.’
Sophie shook her head. ‘Do they have a salad?’
‘They do, but I hope you want it with sauerkraut because it all seems to come that way.’
After the food arrived, Sophie recapped everything she knew. He listened attentively.
‘It’s so odd that she went back to France though. I mean, if SOE threw her out, why would she come back to work for them? I know you want the best outcome for your family, but the fact is, it all points to her being a spy for the Germans, a traitor,’ he said.
She agreed but said, ‘I still need to see it for myself to believe it.’
They decided they needed to get an early start, so he walked her back to her room, kissing her politely on both cheeks and squeezing her hand before disappearing into his room.
That night, as she went to sleep, she thought again about her great-aunt. Had she fallen in love with Marcus? If he was half as lovely as his great-nephew she was beginning to understand the attraction. And what did that love mean when there was a war and they were on opposite sides? How could she follow her heart, and also do the right thing?
30
1944
The morning after they had arrived back in Paris, Marcus left Vivi in the apartment while he went to make contact with his cell. He had also wired his German office the evening before to let them know he had returned, saying he had sustained some injuries in a bombing raid, which was why he was back later than expected. Though Vivi had been heartened to see that his wounds were repairing well, his leg was still a constant bother to him, and he had to rest often after he walked on it.
Vivi waited all day for him to return, unable to leave the apartment without papers and his Nazi protection. When Marcus finally arrived back, she was in the kitchen making herself a drink.
‘How did it go?’ she asked, greeting him and quickly helping him down into a chair.
He exhaled loudly. ‘It went well. I don’t think anyone suspects anything. They have all been so busy, they were just glad I had finally returned. I have also made contact with the other members of the cell here, a person I can trust, and tomorrow they will get you your papers.’
She looked into his blue eyes. He looked tired and worn with the stress of it all.
‘How are you feeling? How’s your leg?’
‘It is healing.’ He smiled as she gave him a cup of coffee. ‘I have an excellent nurse,’ he added.
That evening, he appeared awkward as they approached the bedroom. ‘Please, you take the bed,’ he insisted. ‘I can sleep on the sofa.’
But she took his hand and gently led him into the bedroom.
‘There have been so few moments of joy during this war. I think when we have the opportunity to share some love that we should take it,’ she said, reaching up to undo the buttons of his uniform.
He gently took hold of her wrists and pulled her hands away. ‘I know I have had to hold you at arm’s length, but you have no idea how difficult it was for me, the times I held back from kissing you. One particular morning in Cornwall, when you first found out who I really was, I watched you as you changed my bandages. It took all of my strength not to pull you into my arms and make love to you right there. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. When you thought I was your enemy, when you would leave the room, the agony in just knowing how much I’d hurt you, how I had lost your trust, kept me awake most nights. Now, having your forgiveness and your companionship is more than I could ever have hoped for.’
Vivi pulled him towards her then and felt the sheer bliss of safety and completeness as his body enveloped hers. And in response to the desire coursing through her body like electricity she started to tremble, the attraction overwhelming her. Looking up into his concerned blue eyes, she gently stroked the scar on his forehead that was healing well. She laced her hands through his hair, and he closed his eyes in response, and when she gently stroked the back of his neck, he shivered and opening his eyes he looked down on her with so much love.
‘We have both been through a difficult time,’ she whispered, studying his face, his strong jaw, his full lips, getting lost in the deep blue of his eyes that drew her in with their intensity of emotion. As she gently ran her fingers down his face, he teased out a breath, and she felt his heart starting to race in his chest beneath her breast, his lips so close to hers. ‘I think we deserve some happiness now, don’t you?’
She pulled him towards her then and kissed him passionately on the lips and he responded by pressing her in so tightly against his body, he almost lifted her off her feet and snatched away her breath. It was as if now, with permission to love her, he could unleash all the passion he had been holding back for so long; the passion he had kept so carefully in check so he could fulfil his mission. He lifted her gently into his arms and placed her on the bed. As a shaft of moonlight found its way through a chink in the curtains, illuminating his face for a second, she saw tears in his eyes.
‘Are you sure, Vivi?’ he whispered, his voice hoarse with the emotion and his breath coming thick and fast now with his desire. ‘I wanted to marry you before we… I wanted all of this to be done the right way.’