‘And that’s true, but she obviously didn’t see things that way. She saw me as a threat, some interloper who shouldn’t even be in the business, and she was right because that’s exactly what I was. I should never have been in that line of work. In fact, I’ve come to believe that the acid attack was a kind of punishment.’
Luke’s mouth dropped open. ‘What do you mean?’
‘For my vanity.’
‘No, Orla! You can’t mean that!’
‘I do. I really do. I should never have taken that first job or been tempted by the offers that came in after that. I let my colleague down at the photography studio, I walked out on a job that meant something to me, and all for money.’
‘But that’s only natural. We all have to do things to make money. That’s life! There’s no getting away from it.’
‘But I was so unhappy in that job. I went on taking all those assignments, even though I knew it was all wrong for me.’
‘Not as wrong as someone attacking you and leaving you scarred for life. God! I can’t imagine what you went through. How do you begin to recover?’
‘Slowly!’ She took a deep breath and stared out into the waves. Her glasses were still in her hands and Luke could see the terrible scars left by the acid attack as her dark hair blew back from her face. ‘It took months of hospitalisation,’ she told him. ‘There was so much damage. Half of my face and my neck had melted away, and part of my arm, where the acid had dripped down my hair and burned into the skin there. I lost my ear and – well – you’ve seen my eye, haven’t you? I’m lucky that it functions at all. My own reflection horrified me. I made the mistake of looking shortly after the attack. I really shouldn’t have done that. And I don’t any more. You must have noticed that there are no mirrors in the castle. I can’t even bear the windows sometimes if they dare to throw my reflection back at me.’
Luke shook his head. He was truly appalled at what had happened to her, but he was equally frustrated at the effect it still had on Orla even years later. She had no idea how beautiful she was. The scars were just superficial and her damaged eye did nothing to detract from her inner beauty. Did she not know that?
‘Do you know how terrifying it is to look in a mirror and not recognise yourself? I saw this strange, red monster of blood and bone staring out at me.’ She closed her eyes and Luke rested a hand on her shoulder. ‘They made me wear this mask for twelve hours a day so that my scars didn’t heal bumpy. It should have been a breeze after what I went through, but it made me feel so claustrophobic – like I was being held in a vice. I lost count of the number of operations I had to have. It was in the high forties, I think, and they advised more, but I couldn’t bear it. They told me about a special clinic I could go to, but the whole hospital thing left me traumatised. I just wanted to be left alone and I needed to get out of London. I couldn’t bear being there any longer. I had to get away.’
‘And that’s when you came here?’
‘It seemed perfect. I’d never been to Suffolk before. I was just vaguely aware of it from my school days and all the fuss about some Anglo-Saxon treasure.’
Luke smiled. ‘I remember that too. Maybe we should go and see the place. I don’t think it’s that far from here. Sutton Hoo, right?’
‘I’m not sure.’
‘You’ve not been, then?’ Luke asked before he could check himself. Of course she hadn’t been. She hadn’t been anywhere that was further away than this beach. She hadn’t even seen the other end of the village. ‘Orla – I know we’ve had a disagreement about this already, but I do think you’re missing out on so much here. It seems such a shame to be in this beautiful place and not see any of it.’
‘But I do!’ she said, motioning to the sea and the beach all around them.
‘Yes, I know you come here.’
‘And you can see for miles from the castle rooftop. You saw when you went up.’
‘Yes, it was amazing, but it isn’t the same as going out and seeing new places and meeting new people.’
‘Luke – I’ve told you—’
‘I know you have and, at the risk of you throwing me out again, I want to bring it up once more – not because I want to upset you, but because I really believe that it would do you good to get out. It would build your confidence too.’
‘I don’t need to build my confidence. I’m happy as I am. Besides, you must understand now how I feel about going out.’
Luke suddenly realised how insensitive he was being in trying to encourage her to venture outside.
‘Yes, of course,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry, Orla. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
She gave him a tight smile. ‘Besides, it’s not good for me to go outside. My mother told me that.’
Luke frowned, shocked by her words. ‘She said that?’
‘It’s not good for me to be out in public. She said that, even if people aren’t dangerous, they’ll always be staring at me and that isn’t good for me. She said . . .’
‘What did she say?’ Luke encouraged after Orla had stopped.
‘She said that I would be putting myself at risk every time I left my home.’
Luke swore under his breath. ‘She really told you that?’
‘Yes. And she was right too. She knows me better than anyone and she was there with me every day in the hospital, and she knew that I’d be happier on my own.’
Luke shook his head. ‘Well, I don’t believe that.’
Orla glared at him. ‘Why not? Why do you find it so hard to believe that I’m happy?’
‘Because people need people. We’re not made to isolate ourselves. Even after what happened to you. Think about it – think of your presence on Galleria and how much you enjoy that connection with other people.’
‘I enjoy that because it’s on my terms. It’s safe.’
‘I don’t know about that,’ Luke said. ‘A lot of crazy things go on online.’
‘I know and, if they do, I simply delete it or block the crazy people.’
‘But don’t you think it’s time to venture out again? I mean, how long have you locked yourself away like this for, Orla? It’s been a couple of years, hasn’t it? And don’t forget that Helen didn’t want you to isolate yourself like this either.’
Orla shifted her feet in the sand. ‘Luke—’
‘I know – I shouldn’t interfere.’
‘No,’ she said, her tone managing to be both calm and frustrated all at once, ‘you really shouldn’t.’
She whistled for One Ear and he trotted over to her, his big paws foamy with the surf he’d been paddling in.
‘He’s a great dog,’ Luke said, thinking it best to change the subject before she decided it might be better to throw him out again.
‘He’s the dog version of me, isn’t he, with just the one ear?’
Luke gave a nervous sort of laugh at Orla’s humour.
‘We had that connection, you see. We’re the perfect pair – quite literally – him with no right ear and me with no left. We balance one another out.’ She stood up, brushing the sand from her legs. ‘He’s all I need.’ She gave Luke a resolute look before replacing her sunglasses and he read her message loud and clear.