The kitchen was quiet except for the water bubbling in the pot on the stove. Mrs. Vandenberg gently rubbed Eve’s back and allowed her to cry. Then she said, “Eve, dear, I want you to look at me.” She waited until Eve lifted her head. “If you have confessed your sins and laid them at Jesus’ feet and asked for forgiveness, then it is done. Finished. You are a new woman in Christ. The old is gone. It’s as if you’ve swapped places with Jesus, and God sees His righteousness whenever He looks at you. You get to start all over again, and you don’t need to feel ashamed anymore.”
“How can it be that simple?” she said, wiping her eyes. “I’ve made such a mess of my life—and Robbie’s.”
“Well, our sins have consequences, and you will still have to sort through them all and make as many things right as you can.”
“I’ll help you, Eve,” Audrey said. “We’ll figure things out together, like we always have in the past. You won’t be alone ever again. And neither will I.”
“And I’m here for you, too,” Mrs. Vandenberg added. “But, Eve, listen, now. Sometimes the hardest part of forgiveness is forgiving yourself—and truly believing in Christ’s forgiveness. There will be days when you’ll be tempted to doubt that you are a new person, days when you’ll be very hard on yourself. Especially as you face the painful consequences of your mistakes. And other people’s disapproval. But there is a Scripture verse I hope you’ll memorize that says, ‘If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.’ You are loved and forgiven, dear one.”
They spent another hour with Mrs. Vandenberg, who prayed for Eve and Audrey and both of their sons. When Eve walked out into the waning sunshine of a beautiful summer day, she felt as if she could fly. She introduced Audrey to Tom, then rounded up the boys—who were both reluctant to leave the farm—and piled everyone into the car. For Eve, the day had been long and event-filled, beginning with her visit with Louis and ending with the relief of knowing that her life of lies and playacting was over. She was forgiven. She could be herself again.
“Do you ever talk about the war?” Audrey asked as Eve drove toward home. “What we did, what we experienced?”
“No. And the funny thing is, no one ever asks me about it. They have the attitude here in America that the war is over and done with, and we’d all be better off to forget about it.”
“That isn’t right—for us or for the soldiers who fought in it. We need to talk about it. It changed us. We’re different people than we were before the war, and if we simply go back to being the girls we used to be, we’re not being true to ourselves.”
“During that last year of the war I felt so numb, so deadened by everything,” Eve said, remembering. “I longed to feel alive again. That’s why . . . well, that’s when I got involved with Louis. I’m not justifying it, but that’s what the war did to me. I lost my faith. I blamed God for the evil in the world instead of seeing that evil is inside us. I envied your life, Audrey. You had money, an education, a beautiful home, servants . . . If I had been raised in a family like yours, maybe Alfie would have married me.”
“That’s funny,” Audrey replied with a little laugh. “I envied your life. You had so many friends. Everyone loved you. You were so free, so happy. And I longed for a mother like yours. I’ll always be sorry that Mother’s selfishness caused your mother’s death.”
Eve didn’t want to hold on to her resentment toward Lady Rosamunde any longer. As Tom had said, if she wanted God to forgive her, she needed to forgive others—the same way that Mrs. Barrett and Mrs. Vandenberg and Tom had forgiven her. “My mum chose to stay with yours, Audrey. I think it was for the same reasons that Robert got into the car with Linda. It was her way of showing God’s love. I’m proud of Mum.”
They came down the hill into town, nearing home, but Eve didn’t want to return to the tiny, claustrophobic house just yet. She wanted to enjoy the blue sky and late-afternoon sun for a little while longer, the cool breezes that blew through the car’s open windows. She turned at the first intersection and headed out of town again. “We’re going on a road trip,” she announced. “Get the map out of the glove box, Audrey, and let’s see where this road takes us.” Audrey raised her eyebrows as if asking if Eve was sure. “Find us a route. You were always better with maps than I was.” Audrey pulled it out and unfolded it on her lap, her finger tracing the blue coastline as she searched for their town. “I loved driving, didn’t you, Audrey?”
“Most of the time. I have to admit, it was a great feeling to be behind the wheel, heading someplace new.”
“I’ve loved driving since the first day Williams let me try it.”
“If I recall, my first driving lesson was under very different circumstances.”
“That’s right!” Eve said with a laugh. “I made you drive home from Dover, with Army roadblocks and no signposts or headlamps. But you did great once you got the hang of it. Want to drive now? I’ll pull over. This is your car, after all.”
“Not on your life! They drive on the wrong side of the road over here. I’ll need a bit of practice before I’m ready to give it a go.”
“Remember driving in the blackout? We would study the map to see all the possible routes, but once we started off, we could only see what was right in front of us.”
“It’s a bit like life, don’t you think? We make plans, but we really can only see a little way ahead. The thing was, we had a purpose back then. A goal to accomplish. Ever since the war ended, I’ve been fooled into thinking that life was like a voyage on an ocean liner, and the seas should always be smooth. Whenever a storm hit, I wanted to hunker down and wait until it blew over and everything was calm again. Wellingford Hall became my refuge. But ships have destinations, Eve. They’re going somewhere, and storms are part of the journey. I haven’t had a purpose since the war ended.”
“I know what you mean. We fought the war and helped save England. We accomplished something big, and now . . .”
“Let’s find a new purpose, Eve!”
The notion excited Eve. Something had been missing in her life for the past four years, in spite of how comfortable it had been. “Right, then! We’re off!” She pressed down on the accelerator and the car sped up.
“Where are we going, Mommy?” Robbie asked.
“We’re off to find the future. You boys keep an eye out for it, okay?”
“What does it look like?” Bobby asked.
Audrey laughed and leaned toward Eve. “He thinks we’re talking about an animal he can spot like a cow or a sheep. . . . I don’t know what it looks like, Bobby,” she called back to him. “We’ll have to wait and see.”
Eve grinned. “But I’m sure we’ll know it when we find it!”
Prologue
THE NETHERLANDS, MAY 1945
Every sound in the coal-black night seemed magnified as Lena lay awake in bed, waiting. She heard the quiet rustlings of the shadow people as they crept through the darkness downstairs in her farmhouse. The creak of the barn door and whisper of hay as they moved through her barn on this moonless night. The shadow people were also waiting. Did they hate it as much as she did?