They’d go to the library or out on the yard while everyone else ate, and somehow, Ted would find a way to catch a ray of hope and wrangle it into staying with him for a while. Right now, Ted could not see any light at the end of this tunnel, and he started to spiral.
He pulled in a breath and held it, trying to find something to hold onto. There was nothing. “Can’t do this,” he said, and he pulled out his phone. Tapping quickly, he called his mother. Pick up, he begged. Please, Ma, pick up. Beside him, Randy whined, and Ted reached over to scratch the dog’s head.
“Teddy,” she said, and her voice alone centered him.
“Ma.” He sounded like a strangled goat, and he couldn’t say anything else.
“What’s wrong, Teddy?”
“Just tell me a story,” he said, leaning his head against the fencing separating him from Second Best. “Something good, Ma.” He’d requested this of her before, when he’d been in prison. When he’d been struggling in law school. When he’d left home for the first time and been so lonely in his dormitory at college.
“Teddy, who are you with?”
“I’m feeding a baby horse,” he said. “I’m alone. Well.” He looked at Randy. “I have my dogs here with me.”
“Go find Nate.”
“I can’t, Ma,” he said. “Just tell me a story. Maybe the one when we went to Epcot.”
A beat of silence passed, and then his mother’s kind, lovely voice filled the line. She detailed how Shane had wanted to stand in the line for the biggest roller coaster. “I can’t even remember the name of it.” She gave a light laugh, and that chased away some of the panic in Ted’s mind. “But we did. We stood there for hours. Britta had to go to the bathroom so bad, and we were all starving. Then, right when it was our turn, the ride malfunctioned. It scared Shane, and he wouldn’t get on it, even when they got it fixed.”
“So we went without him,” Ted said, finishing the story for her. “I remember that.” He smiled, because life had been simple then. His parents hadn’t had a ton of money, but they’d saved for a year to take the family to Florida. His mother had made everyone matching shirts—green and blue stripes—so no one would get lost in the theme park.
“Thankfully, that cured him of lines, and we were able to go around to the different countries and get snacks.” His mother laughed again, the sound of it made of pure magic.
“Mom,” he said, lifting his head and pulling the bottle away from Second Best. “I’m really sorry about everything that I’ve done that has caused you any pain at all.” His chest suddenly tightened, and he wasn’t even sure where the apology had come from. Only that it was there, and he’d needed to say it.
“Oh, Teddy,” she said. “You’re a good man, and you always have been.”
Ted wasn’t sure about that, because did good men really go to prison? Yes, there was a lot that was unfair about his case. If the man he’d hit hadn’t been an undercover cop, Ted might still be practicing law. If his firm hadn’t been dealing with some shady characters, the UC wouldn’t have even been there.
If it hadn’t been Wells’s birthday, and if Kellie hadn’t brought a cake, and if someone else—anyone else—had been cutting it, Ted wouldn’t be where he was.
He also believed with everything inside him that he was right where he was supposed to be, and that his path here was the one he was supposed to be on. So while he didn’t understand it, at least it didn’t add to his spiral.
“Thanks, Ma,” he said. “I love you.”
“I love you billions and billions, Teddy-bear,” she said.
Ted would never be too old or too rough to hear that from his mother, and he ended the call feeling a great deal better. He finished feeding the baby horses and sent a quick text to Emma. I took care of your babies. Are you all right? Can you call me when you get a second so I can hear your pretty voice?
He didn’t care what the last question revealed about his feelings for her. He wanted her to know he’d started to fall for her.
He didn’t normally take a break to walk by the river until afternoon, but he needed a few minutes to gather his wits back about himself. So he left the stables and headed for the trees that grew along the fence, which ran right along the river. This was where he’d first seen the blue truck and William Leavitt.
Ted forced himself to breathe slowly, taking in the biggest breath he’d ever taken. He held it. Then blew it out. Once, twice, three times, and Ted started to control the negative emotions that had been controlling him since he’d sat on the steps last night.
The sound of a vehicle had him turning right, and he couldn’t quite tell where it was coming from. Could’ve been Nate on the ATV or in the side-by-side, behind him. His heart pounded like it would be Robert Knight’s big, black truck.
When the blue one emerged through the trees, Randy growled and flattened himself on the ground. Ted’s reaction wasn’t much better. “What is this guy doing here?” he asked the four dogs who went everywhere with him.
Then, without thinking, Ted went over the fence and right off the ranch. “Hey,” he called, because William had his window down. The man looked toward him and slowed his truck. Ted waded right through the river, which wasn’t very wide or deep and sloshed up onto the dirt road where William liked to loiter.
“What are you doing here, William?” he asked.
Surprise crossed the other man’s face, probably because Ted knew his name. Ted marched toward him, pulled open the door, and yanked the guy right out of the truck.
“Hey,” William protested as Ted pushed him against the truck. “What are you doing?”
“What are you doing here?” Ted asked again, getting really close to William’s face. “And I spent almost six years in prison, so I know a lie when I hear one. Do not lie to me.”
“Get your hands off me.” William shoved against Ted, and he fell back, his vision going white. Ted sucked at the air, trying to blink his way back to reality.
What had he just done?
He’d left the ranch.
Strike one.
He’d put his hands on another human being.
Strike two.
He couldn’t afford a third strike. “Sorry,” he said, sucking at the air. Nothing in his life made sense anymore. “I’m sorry.”
“I know who you are,” William said. “And you best get back over that fence, Ted.”
Ted looked up and into the man’s brown eyes. “Why are you here? What does Emma have that you want? What does Robert want with her?”
William sighed like Ted was being difficult on purpose, and he looked down the road in both directions. “His ex-wife lives here, and his son is graduating from high school this week. So he’s back in town. He won’t be here long.”
“What does he want with Emma?”
“They were an item, back in the day.” William brought his gaze back to Ted’s, and it was filled with meaning. “I suppose he wants to see if there’s anything left there. His ex mentioned that Emma was still in town, because she was the boy’s second-grade teacher. Robert’s interest got piqued.”