CHAPTER SIX
* * *
AVA
Sibling Rivalries
“You actually put salt in the sugar jar?” Reagan raised her voice to be heard over the sound of the entire bar roaring with delight as the Panthers scored a touchdown.
I winced at the noise and waited until they’d stopped hollering like Neanderthals to respond. “Yep. Apparently, we’re now at war.”
Halley wrinkled her nose. “What are you going to do next? That’s a pretty savage move. I don’t know how else you can really get at him.”
“You still have the ballsac card, right?” Reagan asked, dipping her fries in ketchup. We were tucked away in the corner of the bar while I was on my break, and since it was five-thirty, we’d all decided on a slightly early dinner.
“I do,” I said, putting down my burger and wiping my mouth. I swallowed and continued, “But that’s only for use with the hedgehog. Otherwise, I need to come up with some ideas and fast.”
“Steal the insoles from all his shoes while he sleeps,” she said immediately.
Halley nodded. “You can also go through the cookies and take one bite out of every single one. Works on just about anything.”
“Have you done that?” I asked, grinning.
She dabbed the corner of her mouth with her napkin. “It’s the last time Preston touches my candy.”
Reagan smirked.
I pulled my glasses off and used the bottom of my shirt to clean the lens. “All right, so that’s two, but I really need more than just that. I get the feeling this is going to be painful for me. I need to return that in spades.”
My friends both nodded. We ate in silence for a few minutes before Reagan clapped her hands.
“Switch the toothpaste out for shaving cream.”
I screwed up my face. “I think he’ll notice that, though. The texture is completely different.”
Halley nodded. “That’s a basic one. He’ll be looking for that. You need something more discreet.”
“Take all the batteries so he can’t use anything?” Reagan suggested.
I shook my head. “Far too risky that he’ll retaliate in the same way. I don’t think he knows about the vibrator yet, but I don’t want to risk it.”
Halley shook her head, her blonde bob brushing against her cheeks. “File it away anyway. It’s a last-resort kind of passive-aggressive attack.”
Reagan nodded. “So there’s stealing insoles, biting one of every of his favorite snack, and maybe stealing all the batteries. You could also hide all his charge cords.”
“What if they have the same cord?” Halley asked.
“I don’t think we do,” I replied. “His phone is newer than mine. I think the adaptor is different.”
“Okay, so there’s also that. That should get you through the week. He’s not going to retaliate right away.” Reagan picked up her Pepsi and sipped. “He’s going to lull you into a false sense of security and attack.”
“I did used to do this with Leo.”
“Yeah, but that’s the problem. He’s got your brother on his side. He’s going to know all your tricks by the end of the day. Unless you call Angelica…”
I paused. I hadn’t thought about calling Ethan’s sister. We didn’t speak that much, but I knew she’d gotten married last year and was about to have a baby. She was always nice when I saw her in passing, and as someone’s sister myself, I knew how satisfying it was to piss off your brother…
“I don’t have her number, and I’m pretty sure she’s on maternity leave,” I said. “Either of you have any ideas?”
Halley shook her head.
Reagan pulled her straw from her glass and sucked air through it, making a bubbling noise. She tapped the end against her lips. “Doesn’t her husband come in here every week? I’m pretty sure Noah said something about them seeing him here on Friday.”
“That doesn’t help me. It’s Sunday.”
“No, I think he comes in to watch the games. He’s from New York so he’s a Jets fan, but he also watches the Panthers. He’s probably here right now.”
“Isn’t Angelica literally about to give birth?” Halley raised an eyebrow. “I’d castrate your brother if he left me to watch football and I was going to have a baby.”
“Have you discussed impregnating yourself with the lesser strain of the Wright family DNA?” Reagan responded with an eyebrow-raise of her own.
The look my blonde best friend shot at my purple-haired one was withering. “Not at this time, no. I think the raccoons are enough questionable DNA, thank you.”
One day, we’d all stay on track of a conversation.
“Okay. I’ve never met her husband, so… Anyone?” I asked, drawing the conversation back to the point at hand. “Can you see him?”
They both craned their necks and looked around the bar until Reagan squeaked. “He’s by the bar.”
“Which one is he?” I sat up to see.
“The guy with the dark hair, black t-shirt, laughing right now?”
I had him. “I got him. Okay, I’m gonna go get her number.”
“You’re just gonna walk right up to him?” Halley’s eyes widened.
“Yeah. I’m not a magician. I can’t just pluck her number from his cell phone. Plus, I have to get back to work.” I smiled and stood up, waving goodbye to them.
I made my way through the people and back to the bar right before the husband disappeared and I lost him for the night.
“Excuse me!” I called, reaching for him.
He turned, two beers in each hand. His eyes flitted across my face before recognition shone in his gaze. “Hey—you’re Ava, right? You live with Ethan.”
“He lives with me,” I muttered before I could stop myself.
He laughed.
“Sorry.” I grimaced. “It’s automatic. Yeah, I’m Ava. You’re Angelica’s husband, right?”
He nodded. “Shane. I’d shake your hand, but…” He held up the bottles.
“Don’t worry. I was wondering—could I get her number?”
Shane’s eyebrows shot up. “Why do you need her number?”
“Because Ethan and I appear to be in some kind of passive-aggressive roommate war, and I want to win.”
He hesitated for all of a second before he burst out laughing. “I can’t say that’s what I was expecting you to say, but it’s probably the best thing she’ll hear all week.”
I grinned. “So you don’t mind?”
“I can’t give you her number, but why don’t you give me yours? I’ll give it to her later and tell her to text you.”
“That would be awesome! I’m behind the bar, and it looks like this quarter is starting, so do you just wanna come get it at some point? I’m here until eight.”
He glanced up at the screen above the bar. “Let me put these on the table, and I’ll write it down for you. I’m gonna forget otherwise.” He returned the smile and turned, disappearing into the crowd.